my husband is in jail for a long time and now i'm with this female who will not let me write my hubby?

Question

i need to know what should i do about the question i posted will someone please give me some good advice,because i know i will never be with him again he just need a friend don't no one want to be locked up with no one sending them letters or talking to them please someone help

Answer 1

What bothers me is the "and now i'm with this female who will not let me write my hubby" part.

If you are old enough to get married, you are old enough to write and mail your own letters.

Another hint is to write to your husband and mail it while this person is away.

Answer 2

You are your own person and no one can tell you what you can and cannot do. We can give a way our power to a controlling person thinking we are doing something to help our relationship or to prove our love, but it's not so...

You don't need another person's permission to do the things you want to do. I am sure this woman does things that you don't like, and you accept them. The finest example is this- she doesnt want you to write to your husband...

You might want to define the boundaries of your realtionship a bit more clearly to her. Let her know where she is not allowed to intrude, and believe me, this is an intrusion! You have already had a mother and the part of your life where you had to do as you were told is over.

You need to be respected as an adult. And you need to define those limits to everyone who dares to cross the line, as an adult. Clearly- with no if, and's or but's. You don't need to be cruel, rude or argumentative, just assertive. This is not a point to be discussed, it's just the way it is.

And if this is not something they can accept then you need to move on...

Good luck!

Answer 3

Umm...so is he one of those innocent people that are locked up? Or is it possible that this "female" might be trying to look out for your best interests?? Keeping up a relationship that you admit isn't going to amount to anything seems like a waste of energy.
On the other hand, it's not so healthy having someone tell you what to do either.
Unfortuantely, that is what you are looking for by submitting this question to Yahoo!Answers.
Figure out what matters to you. Cut out the crap, and you're life will be 100% better. I promise.

Answer 4

Have u tried 2 explain 2 her that u r writing as a friend not a lover? Let her know that she pleases u like no other but you r not a ruthless heartless person. Let her know u Love her and reassure this always and that should settle the problem. Good luck.

Answer 5

Sounds like shes a very controlling person. If shes like this now just imagine the things shes gonna try to control in your life later. I suggest you get away from her. Shes gonna bring you down. You sound like a nice person wanting to be friends with you ex while hes in jail just so he dosent get lonely theres nothing wrong with that and dont let anyone tell you there is or that you cant do it.

Answer 6

Your girlfriend does not have the right to control your choices or to demand that you have no contact with your husband. You really need to examine this relationship & evaluate just how healthy it is for you. Be honest with her (don't sneak around behind her back), and if she can't handle it, then maybe it's time to get out of the relationship & find someone who can show you more respect.

Answer 7

So, she physically holds your hand and prevents you from writing? You are your own person. You can find time to write to someone. Sounds like you are using this person as an excuse to not write to him, because you really don't want to. You really shouldn't if you don't plan on having a relationship with him.

Answer 8

Unless this female isnow your current lover, You are not obligated to her in such a manner in which you cannot communicate with your incarcerated husband. Don't lie to her tell her exactly what your doing, and remember everyone needs a friend. Good luck!

Answer 9

Girl just writ to him from work and have him mail back the letters to your job addressed to you with no return address is all. Duh, throw them in the trash immediately when you're done while you're at work and if she asks just don't tell her. Anyhow if he;s locked up for whatever reason he probably already knew his circumstances so don't feel like you have an obligation he obviously would have no choice but to except this!

Answer 10

You should plead to her with the knowledge that you and he will never be together and that he doesnt pose a threat. Tell her you need to write him as he has no other family or friends.