We are crazy in love with each other but I being older want so much for him to have a good life. I don't want to ruin it for him because he might just be infatuated with me. He says he doesn't want children ever but so do alot of men at his age. Part of me says walk away and break his heart as its best for him but another part of me would be in ruins if I did. Then there is our wonderful society to consider. You know the wonderful accepting community we all belong to. Is is right to subject him to that kind of pressure. Or myself for that matter and my own children. I just don't know what to do. His mother is all for it.. The dad doesn't know (yet)..OMG..Thats going to be fun..Soooo anyone have any ideas, comments or advice. Thanks
2006-07-26 01:19:13 · 9 answers · asked by imannemarie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If your Love is TRUE LOVE... then age is no biggie...
My true love and I are 12 years apart in age and we were in love when I was 16 and he was 28. It's been 12 years and we are still in love. When I was younger, yes everyone seen it as a problem, but since I am older now (and so is he heehee) ppl don't look at us like they did back then, we make jokes about it though and have fun with it... but truely... you could very well be 4 years apart from someone around your own age and be very unhappy and him not take care of you... so go with what your HEART is telling you.... if he is everything you have wanted, he provides for you and Loves you as much as you have ever been loved and your happy..... AGE does NOT matter..... as for him having pressures... you will have as much as him... and the older he gets... the more mature he will become... I say give it a go... if it's true love then you will be together!
Good Luck to you 2!!
2006-07-26 01:27:27 · answer #1 · answered by nknicolek 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm afraid I have to agree with Maggie... he is to young to even know what love or life is... you are old enough to be his grandmother and eventually when he gets a few years older that age difference is going to rear it's ugly head... I think he is looking at you as a mother figure and you might "break his heart" right now but I think in the long run you would be doing him a disservice if you continue this relationship. He is the immature and inexperienced party here... you have already lived through and probably experienced with your own children what it is like at 18... what is life and death today is old news and so over in a few months.. think with your head not your hormones on this one. It would be different of the age difference wasn't quite so much say if you were 37 or even 47... but I truly believe he would end up regretting giving up his young adulthood... I am married to someone who is 12 years older than me... and at first everything was cool... then once we settled into our marriage over the first year or two all these little differences started popping up and pulling us apart... we are from different generations and see life in different ways... I regret marrying someone who is that much older than me... and I think he would end up feeling that way as well.
2006-07-26 01:31:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this day and age an 18 year-old would not be wise to want children. That will likely change once he stops thinking about his penis needs. You'll be in your 70's when he's in his 30's. Imagine him cleaning you after you've soiled yourself. I won't even to into what you would deal with in the world. Just imagine a man in his 40's living life with someone in their 80's. IS that fair to him? Do you really believe he's thinking about these things? I'm 42 and my dad's 84. I can't even imagine living with HIM and taking care of his "senior needs" on a regular basis. My mom's 15 years younger and I see the way she loves and cares for my dad but it's prematurely aging her. You are absolutely the adult in this relationship. You already know what to do, don't you?
-T
2006-07-26 01:33:33 · answer #3 · answered by CaliforniaT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am one of those ppl who know just what your talking about. I've had the same issues as you have. My fiance is 23, I'm 43. When I first got together with my fiance he told me, he didn't want kids. That has changed over the months, he would like me to have 1 child! My parents know about him, yet, they don't say a word..even though they don't like it. His parents "seem" like they are alright with things when I'm with him..yet when I'm not, they aren't happy about it. I don't care, he doesn't care...I look at it like this...whatever choices we make, they are ours to make. I don't decide anything for anyone else, nor will I let others decide what I should do and shouldn't do. We both know I will die long before he does. We've talked about that, just like we've talked about everything else. We both know the way things are realistically...Do what you feel is right for you...for him...oh and you'll find that some younger women HATE that someone so young would rather be with someone so much older...after all...isn't younger better ? lol
2006-07-26 01:31:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
woah!!! wait a minute lady!
i am into a relationship with a younger woman... i'm 48 and she is 28. that is a 20-year difference. with that, i already feel awkward and can't help to think if she would still be in love with me if i would be a bit more older (say about 5 more years- that would make me 53). but about 40 years difference... take my advice, think it over again. don't expect too much. i do understand if he would be in love with you now. but you have to think about your future with him... do you think if you would be old and frail, he would be in his 30's. do you think there is no chance for him to see the age difference and what he would be missing if you are that old?
during my 30's i am very, very active (sexually, i mean). now i have slowed down a bit on that area. what would you think would be the scenario if he is in his prime and you are already in your twilight years?
i am not trying to disappoint you or scare you, or anything of the sort. i just want to help you see your options and help you to be ready for possible consequences.
i just don't want you to be unhappy during these years of our aging.
my final advice is... enjoy your relationship now, but do not expect the best from this relationship, most especially ending up married to this guy.
2006-07-26 01:50:02 · answer #5 · answered by Ross 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am all for age differences, but come on lady. your 57 and he's 18. what , besides sex, could you possibly have in common?? do you play xbox together?? He is 18 for god sake. how do you live with yourself?? Find someone closer to your age. i am so floored by your question i can't stop commenting. you cannot have anything to talk about. you are from two very different generations. you have to be older than his parents! Your gross!
2006-07-26 01:32:59 · answer #6 · answered by mml619 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this case, age matters a great deal. You are denying him the opportunity to have a lifetime of love with someone who can give him children and a "normal" life.
You are old enough to know better. What on earth do you have in common? Does he really find you sexually attractive? You're old enough to be his grandmother! Ew......
2006-07-26 01:29:02 · answer #7 · answered by Ifeelyourpain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Mum, you are not entirely crazy, I think you just wanted to find a son to take care for.
Go on and adopt a baby boy and live happily ever.
Or maybe go for his dad, he might be a better choice for you.
2006-07-26 01:32:12 · answer #8 · answered by littledotfx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I usually say age doesn't matter but I think you are in lust and he is just after a mother figure.
2006-07-26 01:24:57 · answer #9 · answered by Maggie 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋