Have you ever noticed that when a persons' marriage or relationship is over that sometimes they have that fatal attraction to keep the coals and embers burning? Even when the other side says it's over and know yourself it is, they still want what they don't have or want what they can't get your hands on.
They didn't want it when they had it....but when someone else is wanting it; They want it back knowing it will never work!
2006-07-26 00:04:11 · 9 answers · asked by aunt_beeaa 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have experienced this personally and have also watched from the side lines as my brother takes on that role.
It is fine if the communication remains and the results are a platonic rather than romantic link, however when one shares their life with another for a number of years, I think that the letting go is something that must be developed. For some this takes years, for others a matter of minutes or days dependant upon how the marriage or relationship ended.
Mutual consent equals mutual respect which fosters mutual communication. Unexpected breakup, as in my brothers' case, fostered so many different emotions for my sister in law that communication was almost impossible for a few years. Once she found another person who wanted to share her life, my brother was exceptionally upset because he knew and had worked with the fellow. This created extreme jealousy, however, it soon evaporated once he found someone else.
Now the communication is that of friends (thankfully) and now he has gone through trials, difficulties and even watched helplessly as his partner passed away just recently. Experiencing a mild heart attack at the end of this extremely stressfull period garnered him, someone who had been overly materialistic and pompus, the respect from his family and his ex-wife. He still has a few times when he comments on the other fellow, but those are less as he realizes that life is actually really short if you end up living it under duress for a length of time.
Today, they are communicative in a respectful way towards each other and it's no longer a hanging on, jealousy driven relationship. It's one where there is no more hatred, contempt or conniptions :) and my brother no longer expresses nor harbours any resentment towards the other fellow and understands there is no going back and I think his relationship with his ex is better for the experience. Even if it took awhile to come to.
My relationships have been more or less the other person not wanting to let go and it has been a very odd feeling to have someone become obsessed with the fact that we were no longer together and shouldn't be regardless. Stalking comes to mind in a few cases, however, somehow I have always managed to become friends literally with them and at times even socialize with them and their new partner. It has been awkward but worth the effort that I think both of us had to put into it.
And that's all I have to say about that! :)
2006-07-26 00:23:56 · answer #1 · answered by dustiiart 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is necessarily a social system of binding two human beings. However, our emotions, grief, anger, joy and depressions etcs all are controlled by hormones, which are nothing but chemicals. Now as two different elements can be bonded and seperated on suppliance of necessary conditions, we see that it is perfectly normal if any marriage or relationship fails. The responsibility of breakage is on the couples. It is therefore, reccomended that do not breakup the relationship and if breaks then do not call back!
2006-07-26 00:31:41 · answer #2 · answered by computersir 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a married man with a child. The wife/child will always come before you. He is doing this **** to her, so if he married you, the pattern repeats. He promises you all , so you come over and they have intimate relations...you are hooked again. Time to cut him off. Its over the relationship, the friendship ,the whatever you want to call it. This will not end well if you stay believe me. My buddy has been doing it for 15yrs...He is 53 am STILL has not left the wife, even thought they live in different cities... Him wanting to start a biz w/you is an excuse to call... Get out, cry, get over it and start 2010 out looking for a single man who can give you what YOU WANT...Not where he can FIT YOU IN. Go girl!
2016-03-16 05:36:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mariage can be considered like a life contract, and this can create the ipresion of loosing your liberty; Sometime divorce can be a way to win back your independence, and live separate lifes; that means that once you are divorced, you can keep your conection with your ex-wife or husband, if that pleased you.
I know a situation when a couple has really improuve theyr life and decided to live toghether again afther they divorced.
So depends in what bouth persons involved wants.
2006-07-26 00:26:08 · answer #4 · answered by Nicolaie S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I mean you could keep the doors of communication open just don't do anything you'll regret later that's all ste boundaries with the relationship!
2006-07-26 00:15:41 · answer #5 · answered by Danette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when a man and a woman get divorced, it shows that they have had a lot of difficulties in their life, so they have a lot of bad memories. so why should they still have relations to remember that bad time?
2006-07-26 01:14:35 · answer #6 · answered by sss 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They just find out it's hard to find a better replacement.
2006-07-26 00:07:06 · answer #7 · answered by · 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When it hurts enough THEN it's over. Until then, people will keep trying.
2006-07-26 00:16:31 · answer #8 · answered by CaliforniaT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG yes I am going through that now
2006-07-26 00:10:21 · answer #9 · answered by tweedy778 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
better not to see eachother...(unless you share children)...give yourself an opportunity to meet the right person that you would love to do what you are doing with your ex.
2006-07-26 00:23:37 · answer #10 · answered by JTB 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋