although you no that person you are trying to get over is bad for you and uses you like a door mat, why is it so hard, its like they dont even feel bothered by whats happened most of the time and only your bothered and feeling it.
2006-07-25 23:25:49 · 12 answers · asked by sweetlikehoney_73 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Almost everyone of us who has fallen in love with the wrong person know this don't we. This is especially harder if you are a man because unlike women who have a lot of other men fawning over you, a break up for a man usually means being alone and having to face a lot of rejections before finding a partner again. Nature has a way of keeping couples together by secreting certain "Bonding" hormones (Oxytoxin). So in a case where one person is in love while the other person is not that much into you it becomes very difficult for the person in love to get over the wrong person. Reasons include keeping on thinking about "those" memories, keeping artifacts from that person including greetings, love letters, emails, gifts, feelings of low self esteem that inevitably follow, feeling that you are not good enough to get this person or any other, lack of emotional support, love and care from family or friends, sudden lack of sex, breakup of routine, possessiveness (wrongly called jealousy) where you visualize the object of our affection being happy with someone else and try too hard to get the one that escaped back into your life. This is also a man's basic instinct "The thrill of the chase" which keeps you in the hunt. Only in this case the chase will never end and you will never enjoy long term even if you got the person who treated you so bad back in your life. So what is it that we can do?
1. Talk to your family about your grief and don't be shy about getting emotional support from your parents, teachers or elders. I am talking about the people in your life who really care about you and cannot stand seeing you hurt or treated like a doormat. This help is best if it is from a person of the opposite gender who can also guide you through the thought process of the opposite gender.
2. Have faith. Go to the temple, mosque or church regularly and spend some time in prayer and meditation and try to connect to the one who's love is boundless. Genuine meditation puts your mind in a reflective state called the alpha state of the mind and helps clears your brain of mental chatter and the "Bonding Hormones" that are playing so much mischief in your life. Also when we promise ourselves "I will never thing of that person", that person keeps popping into our head even more. Meditation is the way to take a bathe inside and take out the trash from your mind.
3. Go out! Exercise, Yoga, Swimming, clear out the depression! The bonus being you will also become attractive to the next person coming up in life.
4. Try at least one activity which you never thought you would be able to do. It could be mountain climbing, Bungee Jumping or deep sea diving or simply a trek into nature. When you are able to do something you thought you were not capable of, it does amazing things for your self esteem.
5. Have platonic friends who you can have good clean fun with and in whose presence you forget all about sex and relationships.
6. Grieve. Cry it all out, let it all out once and for all. Its ok to have made the wrong choice, we all do.
7. Learn to love yourself first. I know its a cliche but will you let anyone hurt your loved one? Now if you loved yourself, will you allow someone to hurt you in anyway? (Realize that by letting yourself be a doormat, you are not making yourself any more attractive. You are just being easy and not a challenge.) You are special, you are unique, you are worthy and deserving of better treatment!
8. Take a long vacation, go to a spa, get a nice massage, backrub, pamper yourself. Rejuvenate!
9. Chuck out and burn all the memories, artifacts, letters, emails, photos etc., It maybe hard at first but it helps later.
10. I could go on and on but the bottom line is that there is more to life and more to you than the opposite sex. Go out and discover yourself!
Take Care and God Bless,
Kalyan
2006-07-26 00:05:22 · answer #1 · answered by kalyan19677 2 · 12⤊ 4⤋
Its hard because like what you've said you loved that person, and you're attached to that person. You devoted your time and feelings for that person that's why it will be very hard for you to get over it. But like what you said, he uses you like a doormat so why stay on that relationship? You actually can help yourself by thinking your worth and just think that there will always be one person that is really for you.
2006-07-25 23:33:06 · answer #2 · answered by yummy _me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact is human emotions are not something simply able to be turned off. We cultivate our relationships to others and they grow like a wildfire, one that is hard to forget when the situations change. Our mind can scream all it likes but our hearts are not so quick to let go, especially with the hope we will return to the joy that we felt before.
2006-07-25 23:30:27 · answer #3 · answered by swordsmanoflight21 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just got over a woman who I knew was wrong for me, but for a while it was like I was addicted to the very thought of her. We're friends now, but I have limited my contact with her so that I don't get those feelings again. I think we do get emotionally attached. I hope you can move on. Time is your ally here.
2006-07-25 23:32:32 · answer #4 · answered by Jack Nicholson 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When You're In-Love You'll Become An Oxymoron.
2006-07-25 23:33:44 · answer #5 · answered by DOC AGA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The emotional attachment especially if the shag is just to balistic. tryg to get out of it as well but very woried and missing that shag.
2006-07-25 23:33:24 · answer #6 · answered by kiss me. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not that hard as with time you can go on in your life and start a new relation with a better one ..
nothing is impossible but you have to fight these feelings and try to convence your self that you can be with a better one and he/she don't deserve u
2006-07-25 23:31:33 · answer #7 · answered by Some 1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
read some articles on how to get over it and move on
2006-07-25 23:31:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are thinking that the other person doesn't feel anything, but guess what...........They're thinking the same thing about you
2006-07-25 23:32:18 · answer #9 · answered by yarisgp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice question ..
you should try to find out why ..
TODAY SHE DEAD
today my sweet angel dead
she were with me here...
here with me all a time...
her hands never leave my hands...
her body always touching mine..
her soul fear to leave my world ...
but today she gone...
yes she dead and left me alone..
she were with me her..
but now , no she is not ..
her wounds were mine...
her happiness were mine...
her sadness were mine too...
and today she left...
her she was , her with me...
i cried when she did..
became tired when she was...
talked just when she looked and when talked to me..
but she gone....
today my angel dead...
she was my life...
she light up my darkness nights...
and changed all my world...
because she was with me....
but now she is not ,,
because she gone...
and alone i am now as before..
hugged her the last hug...
and carried her to the last home..
there where she will live alone too..
kissed her the last kiss...
the last kiss which never to have it any more...
my angel dead...
and now i am crying
crying her die..
but crying alone...
be safe my sweetheart...
and with to my god , to bless you as well..
sleep baby ..sleep ..
sleep for ever ...
alone you are sleeping now ..
not with me , as we did before...
but please wait for me ...
want and not for long ...
because soon i will come to you ..
again as i came to you before , when i met you for a first time...
good-bye my love...
good-bye my sweet partner..
good-bye my world which i lost it now...
by: hazem02@yahoo.com
By hazem02
http://www.thestarlitecafe.com/poems/101/poem_8350024.html
please read more and leave me your comments there..
yours
hazem
2006-07-25 23:29:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋