i am all the time worry about whom he is looking at (women)and is he honest or not or has he done betrayal ? wnad when i see tat he is looking at a woman or he is talking with a woman and he is attracted to her i feel so bad and i dont want to continue with him .i hate these feelings and i just need to change these thşngs forever and i need help.when i was a child i had such these problems with my mother when she laughed with the other man insead of my father or when she drunk alchohol and i was very nerves that time and now i have got this problem with my husband although he is not realy a bad guy and he is realy good but he is a tour guide and in this job he is all the time with the guests and other tour guides and ...... i dont want to change him i want to change my self and i need to be cured beacause i am hurting my self and him and i dont want to feel hate any more .i am tired of all these and i want to feel free and i want to be able to believe him and trust him.what should i do
2006-07-25 22:23:30 · 11 answers · asked by XXQUXX 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Here's what I suggest... Sit down and write down all the things that are bothering you. With each problem decide if you can honestly do something about the problem or if the problem is just in your head. Then you have to make a decision. You have to say to yourself that you will not allow the problems that haunted you as a child to ruin your relationship with your husband. You have to make a choice. Next make a goal not too high that is far beyond your reach, but a reasonable goal for self improvement. Once you reach that goal take your self out for an icecream treat or a new dress. Then make another goal and do the same thing until you have become the person you are trying so hard to be. Self improvement starts with making a choice and then sticking with it. It will be easy to go back to your old ways, but if your relationship with your husband is as important as you say it is then you will keep pushing forward. When your past begins to haunt you take a few minutes out to pray. Remind yourself that you are not the person that you were when you were a child. You have grown and you refuse to let the past haunt you. You know I had a similiar problem. I have fought for a long time to not become my mother or my father. Memories of my childhood use to give me these horrible nightmares, but I decided one day that I was going to be different from them. After a lot of determination and a long road, I have become someone that is better than both my parents. I am a better mother than my mom was and I am here for my children much more than my mother or father was. Sit down with you hubby and tell him that you want to be a better person for him. Let him know that you will need his support. Chances are if it's important to you, he'll make it important for him as well... Good luck. Keep pushing forward and don't turn back. If you need someone to talk to you're always welcome to email me... addy is marie_tta@yahoo.com
2006-07-25 23:50:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
first of all, don't feel guilty with that thinking. It's a part of you, you have to accept it.
I think, what is unrelax for you is not that thinking of unhonesty but the guilty of having that thinking. Like I said, It's part of you, you can learn to live with it but not get rid of it.
If I were you, I will share this feeling with him. talk to him like it's a normal thing that just occur during the day.
Trusting is no secret. I don't know that you did tell him your feeling or not. But if you didn't, you'd better start now. You might express this feeling as a jealousy. You might tell him that you don't like it when he have other women stick around. Make him know that you don't like it in a positive way such as teasing him by nip him lightly for example. Just remember to express your emotion and don't keep it with you alone.
So next time if he talk or look at other woman, he will know that you don't like it. And the important thing is 'you know that he knows'. He won't has to change his behavior at all but thing will be different now because you and him have no secret with each other.
hope this answer can help.
2006-07-25 23:03:12 · answer #2 · answered by Pyro 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about your husband dear .It sounds like your the one he comes home to each night. Is there any type of work that you can do while he is working ? or maybe go back to school ..
My husband is a genealogist/ airline worker who is around beautiful women all the time but its my table he eats his dinner at and my bed he is in every night ..
I really do wish you the best ... you don't have a problem here its more a trust issue ( you trusting HIM )and one that I am sure your going to work on.. If your busy you wont have time to think about his job but what your doing ..
All the Best
2006-07-25 23:49:35 · answer #3 · answered by MrsDave 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is in your heart, Is the occupation something that you know he likes? and can you live with this occupation of his? Is it worth all the fighting and hurt? Does love still burn in your heart for him and does he sound sincere in his answer that he loves you as he did the first day you said "Hello" Miss I don't want to tell you the things that you should look for because I don't rewrite lives or romance that is up to you remember "The pencil to the book of our lives has an eraser, either to diminish the mistake or to rewrite a happier ending" remember that only you can rewrite your life but your memories can't take a toll on your new chapter.
2006-07-25 22:37:58 · answer #4 · answered by E.F. Landeros 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, honey. Um, put on sexy cloths and seduce him. Take all he can give sexually and he won't be able to look at another woman. I don't know what a woman's allowed to do in your culture but you should be able to make him c u m in no more than half an hour; do that every two days and hes *going NOwhere* but into your loving arms.
He sounds like a nice boy.
2006-07-25 22:27:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sent a flirtitious mail to my husband from a friend's email and you know what? My husband actually flrits with her. He has not been sounded so sexy with me. I am hurt. Totally hurt. I hate seing him chatting and laughing with other girls but this is what he enjoyed most.
I have decided to go out with other guys to make him jealous.
2006-07-25 22:35:48 · answer #6 · answered by Borchap 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Husband - If guy cheats, he is aware of it unsuitable. If a lady cheats she'll uncover a option to justify it to herself. She is mendacity to herself and her partner and is unwilling to confess the fact that she has intentionally selected to wreck the the vows she has made.
2016-08-28 17:44:36 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dear lady,
try to change ur lifestyle and ur attitiude to life by putting some more spices in ur sexual relationship with ur husband.This will lead him -if u r clever enough- to be attracted to u more than ever before. Be more creative and ignite the flames of lovelife .. don't ever feel minor to him! Expose your sexual power and u'll dominate all his feelings
2006-07-25 22:36:03 · answer #8 · answered by asl1egy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yo have equal rights so you do the same way what he used to do. you start looking for guys and i'm always ready to share my times with you if u r interest and u r in chennai call me 9381032160.
2006-07-26 00:12:53 · answer #9 · answered by Shaji 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to see a psychologist. You have deep-seated issues that go back to your childhood.
2006-07-25 22:25:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋