I love my finacee so much but we have so little in common, and we dont open alot of subjects, what to do?

Question

most of time we just romance each other and dont open alot of subjects together.. i want us to talk more so that we wont get bored of the romance. what to do?

Answer 1

Proceed only with caution. Communication is crucial in a relationship. I know this because my husband and I do not know how to communicate. Either we have no interest in what the other talks about or we misinterpret the other's meaning or we have different opinions and he makes it his mission to change my mind. We have spent far too many silent meals together (at home and in restaurants where I sense everyone can suspect our pseudo-relationship.) I'm not trying to make my answer about me, but I am trying to offer you a cautionary tale as to what could happen. Even when spouses love each other tremendously, the passion dissipates after a while. This is acceptable when what you're left with is a friend who knows you and who has your back at all costs. How many friendships do you know of that developed amidst silence? I can't think of any. Your best friends are the ones you can really talk to. Communication (not romance & not great sex) is the building block to any relationship. The lifespan of a marriage is a long time to wait for the type of intellectual stimulation that a good conversation provides. This doesn't mean that all of your conversations must be as weighty as the meaning of life, or the ten most significant contributions of mankind, or the most embracing of all religions. Start light. Consider using some of those surveys you find online. Or invest in a book of questions. Play "what if..." Later on, tell him something you learned of or heard of that day and ask his opinion/perspective on the matter. Admittedly, these approaches haven't worked for me, but my guy is not very playful, positive, or receptive. Sadly, I was too infatuated to know this. Remember--eventually the romance and the passion calm to a mere simmer. When they do, I think you'll long to feel close to him outside the boundaries of the bedroom. Start now to make conversation a quality that defines the two of you as a couple. Good luck to you.

Answer 2

How long have you been together? You don't get married thats for sure. Let me guess you got engaged while still in that infatuation stage right? Now you are starting to figure out that you really don't have anything in common so if you aren't in bed you really don't enjoy each other very much, sure you are telling yourself you do but there is that little something in the back of your head saying otherwise. What do you think will happen after you are married for a few years and the 'romance' is old news? You will be miserable thats what. What do you think the likelihood is that you could have a really deep and great frienship (one that makes you want to spend every single day hanging out with that person) when you have nothing in common and with someone you can't even really talk to. Well when the romance fades thats what you a marriage is, the ones that last are great friends too. So what to do, make the wedding a year or two from now and see if this really goes anywhere. Doesn't the idea of marrying someone you don't even have anything to talk about with now seem kind of silly? You aren't even married yet and have this problem already.

Answer 3

Marrying someone that you don't have much in common with, besides romance, is not a good idea. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and i don't think you want to be in that percentage that isn't. communication is so important and when 2 people stop talking, problems are not too far away. remember when you both first met? what kinds of things did you talk about then? sometimes when we've been with someone for awhile, people get used to one another and fall in a slump. you become comfortable and everyone experiences that. maybe that is the problem in your relationship. it appears you really lover her and i'm sure the feeling is mutual. i think you should both discuss the things that interest you, so you can keep your relationship alive. get involved in activities together, so you can spend quality time and get the excitement back. you both also need to open up with each other, so you can talk freely and express your opinions & the things you're passionate about. she may be feeling the same way you are, but doesn't know how to approach you about it. talk about this together, with understanding & love. a woman loves it when a man shows he cares. remember you're not just lovers, you're also friends.

Answer 4

dear pal,
dont worry. try to talk abt general things first and know abt his/her interests. This will help you a lot in starting a conversation with your fiancee. Further more, you can get close to him/her by getting close to each other. Remember, first you be his/her good friend. He/she should feel nice to be with you and feel like being with you all the time.
Try this....

1. In order to make interesting conversation, you must be interesting to others. Keeping yourself informed on current events, staying involved in activities, and keeping a mental list of good topics of discussion are excellent ways to break the ice. And a great tool to help you learn how to start a conversation with almost anybody.

2. Instead of focusing on how uncomfortable you feel, prepare yourself by thinking of the issues that interest you most and what you would like to discuss about a particular subject.

A little preparation will go a long way in enabling you to easily converse with him/her. Don't be afraid to ask questions.

In general, people like to talk about themselves and will respond favorably when asked simple, friendly questions. Learning how to start a conversation is not quite as difficult if you prepare in advance.

3. Make an effort to be a good listener when starting a conversation. After you make the initial effort, listen closely to your fiancee's response.

Often you'll find an invitation to continue the conversation if you listen carefully and respond accordingly. Balance is the key in any conversation.

Alternate between talking and listening to what your fiancee is saying and make additional comments as appropriate.

Learning how to start a conversation is really just using good manners and showing a genuine interest in your fiancee.


4. Even if you find it extremely difficult, always greet your fiancee with a smile and look at her/him directly in the eyes.

It may be hard at first, but self-confidence is a learned skill and by acting confidently, you will gain new self-confidence.

Soon enough you will notice that it is not as hard to maintain eye contact and carry on a conversation. Act confidently and you will eventually become confident.

Developing self-confidence is an important part of learning how to start a conversation.

Repetition and determination are the most important factors in building your level of confidence and conversing effortlessly in any situation.

Hope you got my point..!!!

Take care buddy.. and have a wonderful day ahead and ALL THE VERY BEST IN ALL THE GOOD THINGS!!

WITH LOVE,

ROHAN,
PROPRIETOR,
WWW.SEEK-PROPERTY.COM
BANGALORE CITY,
INDIA

Answer 5

First of all don't think that sharing same thoughts is important in life.
Then you both can think wrong things as same. So just open up your mind and make her understand what type of a man are you really. And then about subjects that wont bore your talks hmm i have to think........ Why don't you talk about whatever comes to your mouth just ignoring whether it makes sense or not.

Answer 6

you should try new thing that both of you have never tried before and maby both of you will like it. talk about anything it is not that hard

Answer 7

Try new things together you both might enjoy it.

Answer 8

why not open to each of them. you must be open to your fiancee so that you may get bored while chatting. open to your fiancee.

Answer 9

Express9 have got all your answers.

Answer 10

don't love anyone sooooooooo much than urself sweetheaaaaaaaaart.