Locating My Father?

Question

Hi all. I am looking for my father who I haven't seen, spoken to in almost 20 years. I really don't know the first step in doing this. I just know his first and last name, but unfortunately that is it. Please help!

Answer 1

As an adopted child I fully understand the need to locate a biological parent. But, I must caution you to prepare yourself emotionally and physically if you pursue this quest. It is of utmost importance that prior to starting your search that you pursue every avenue of information afforded to you. Should your mother be alive, question her about anything you can think of, regardless of how silly the question may appear. Information comes in a variety of ways, and it is not uncommon for the cruical information to be contained in a innoculous muttering.
If your mother has passed away, then go to any family members available, and don't be shy to contact those that you havent spoken to or seen for awhile. You need info, you have to be a detective. That means asking questions, using common sense and following leads.
Again, I must stress to you the importance of preparing yourself for the emotional turmoil you will surely face. This is regardless of the outcome of your search..
That being said, I can help you quite a bit...
First, if your mother can provide information the best piece she can give you is his date of birth, and where he was born and/or raised. If information can't be obtained from her, obtain a copy of your birth certificate and contact the hospital where you were born. Often birth certificates will contain the parents date and place of birth. Also, their hospital records will have a wealth of information regarding your birth. In order to locate your father you are going to need at the minimum the date and place of birth. If you can find that out, then contact the Social security office and let them know you are trying to locate him, provide them a copy of your birth certificate and any correspondence you may wish to include. They WILL NOT give you ANY INFO, if he is alive or dead, but what they will do should he be alive is forward your information to him via the mail. This is how I found I had a brother, they sent my mom a letter he had written her, including pictures with a cover letter that they had not released any information, just sent the letter..
In any case, if they are unable to identify your father from the name and date of birth, you are going to need his Social security number. This is a hard one, but not impossible. if you have his place of birth, (town, city, state, etc) contact the local school district. He went to school, and unless he is more than 40, he would have HAD TO HAVE a S.Security number to enroll in school. If the school district won't cooperate, try the local library for yearbooks that he may have been in. This will give you some other peoples names that you can attempt to contact to locate him. Often, high school friends keep in touch for life.. This will be a hit and miss, but you never know who will say to you, "yes, I know him"....
Another possiblity for information is to locate his last known residence. (City, State) Contact the locate real property tax assessor and see if he ever owned a home. If so, they often have forward info, or if not, the address of the property may contain people he still talks to, even though the home may have been sold by him, doesn't mean he doesn't know who bought it...
Try to find out if you can order a copy of his birth certificate online once you have the date of birth and place. Many states allow this, and with a small fee, and 2 weeks, you will also have your paternal grandparents information that can be extremely useful.
I have done every one of these and more. Try to avoid the online companies that promote finding long lost friends, etc. They can look good, but are of little help. The only one worth anything is Accurint, and only certain types of business are allowed to access those. Accurint is over most budgets, but if you know someone in a collection agency, see if they can run his name. But again, if you don't know date or place of birth,or last address, it may come up with so many "hits', it would take forever to weed through them. If your friend won't get into trouble that is. Every search costs a certain amount, and to get more details even on one person costs again. Some companies keep real close track on that cost.
There is a free website, "Social Security Death index". However, again you are going to need his date of birth, etc.
If you belive he may have died, you can go online and check the death records, state by state. Again, need his date of birth.
I found my father using these very techniques. My brother found my mom through the Social Security office. I found a cousin through a local library in another state.
I am over 50, and it took me 20+ years to do this. However, don't be alarmed. I started my search way before the technology of today. But equally, technology may be more helpful in your search, but privacy laws have been getting much tougher.
I truly, and with heartfelt understanding hope you find what your looking for. And, from the bottom of my heart, I sincerly hope that your quest will fare better than mine.
Remember, no matter the outcome, you must be prepared emotionally.... This will be the toughest, most extreme moment in your life to date...
If you want more ideas, you e/mail me... I can really help you, if you really, really want to find him...

Vickie

Answer 2

Well that's hard, but what I can suggest is since you know his first and last name, why not try to do a search about him in the internet. There might be alot of same names but if there would be a phone number that you can call why not try calling those numbers. Or you can ask for more infos from your mom of he's relatives you might get alot of infos.

Answer 3

i found this web site,by accident,when looking for a lost love.and i put in his first and last name and got his address and phone # it is zaba or you can also check on the white pages ,or also on the yahoo search,these you dont have to pay for.good luck.

Answer 4

Hum.. I'm looking for my daughter I have not
seen for 18 years. Wouldn't this be weird.. By chance are you around TX.. OK???