I had a affair with a coworker and now I want it to stop he wants to continue to have sex with me and i dont.?

Question

He and I both are married I just want to be friends. The sparks are not there for me. At first yes but now no. He is younger then me and acts a little childish for me he is in his 20s and me in my early 30s. He tells me he has a open relationship with his wife and would like to continue this with me but i am not up for this i am afarid if i just say no we cant be friends and work together anymore. I dont now what to do. I know i should have never done this but i did. I have been brushing him off but i dont think he gets the hint he still kissed me and asked me to meet him somewhere. I am at a loss. Yes i know i should not have done this to my husband blah blah blah but he shows no interest at home and i have tried before everyone starts bashing me. Anyway what should i do?

Answer 1

Will if you really do not want to have sex with him anymore than keep bruising him off. Be careful though. Look we are not perfect and many people will talk $hit. Being friends with a person you had sex with is more challenging because than if your just being nice now that person knows they have permission to !uck. I was a friend with a married man. But than we had sex. My ex did not give me the time of day and I understand were you and the married man is coming from. Just know your boundary's. Do what you feel is best for you.

Answer 2

First of all, everyone makes mistakes. Second of all, own up to your mistakes and take corrective and mature actions to make a better situation for the present and the future. I'm a bit taken back by your statement that the coworker whom you had the affair with is childish when it seems less than mature to have an affair when you are a married woman yourself, despite the lack of attention or affection given by your husband at home. However, as you said yourself, the actions have already taken place. Your initial statement revolves around the matter that if you want the affair to stop, then it should. You certainly should not feel pressured to continue to have sex if you do not want to. So you will have to step up and be mature and strong enough to be clear to your coworker that the affair must end. If you wish to attempt to be friends with this co-worker, most likely very difficult since he would like the affair to continue, you should attempt to express this to him as well. Although it seems that you have more important issues to handle as your priorities, such as having enough dignity to confess your unfaithful behavior to your husband and either see if there's any hope of reconciliation- if even an interest of yours and your husband's- or at least give your husband the relief of no longer being in a comitted marriage, by means of a divorce. Also, if you like your job, you may want to get refocused there as well and make sure that your affair has not blemished your position with your company. Hope this helps and hopefully you use your head to ask questions before an incident like this next time, rather than after. Good luck.

Answer 3

I believe you are so worried about this because you think he will fight dirty for you, I have the solution.
Before you do anything, if you don't already have a number you could contact his wife on (which I doubt you do) get one. The home phone number will do (her mobile will look a bit suss). Ask to borrow 'coworkers' mobile phone to make a call (your battery is dead, whatever) and then casually walk into the ladies toilet while on the phone. You will have every phone number of his you could possibly want.
The next day, take coworker aside and tell him the following: "Thanks for the fun (wink) but my husband and I are back together now and he is giving me all the sexual satisfaction I want, I will ley you know if I require your services again (smile)"
Then walk away. If he doesn't let you just walk away and threatens to tell your husband about the affair you had, then say. "Thats fine hon, he already knows. But I'm sure your wife would be interested in hearing all the dirty details from me. That's if you still think my husband needs to hear them from you" If he still says he is going to tell your husband and that his wife wouldn't care even if you did, then make sure you contact his wife before he contacts your husband.
If you do have to resort to calling her, then this is where the land number comes in handy. (I wouldn't believe for a second with the way he is acting that his wife is ok with the relationship) Call when only she would be home, and when she answers act surprised. Tell her you didn't know that he had a wife, and you had called earlier then he had wanted you to. You couldn't call later when he wanted you to because you where going out, but you where going to leave him a message. If she asks what time he wanted you to call then say the time you know he arrives home. Tell her the reason you were calling was to decline his invitation for what you thought to be a work related date, as he had been acting very sleazy towards you since giving you his number.
Now all you have to do is decide wether you are going to tell your husband the truth or not.... because now you have a very good aliby if you want it, which is. You agreed to call him to arrange a work related date, but then changed your mind after he started acting sleazy towards you after having given you his number. He must be telling your husband lies about a relationship between the two of you because he is upset that you rejected him. And that by innocently doing so, you have landed him in alot of trouble with his wife. "The guy is just a big Jerk honey"
Have fun :)
The truth is the best way though... he may find out eventually and then you will be in a hole you won't be able to dig yourself out of. But there's you options.

Answer 4

You need to quit having contact with this person at an emotional level. Pay no attention to him and don't meet him anywhere, don't answer his calls, don't e-mail and just do your work as normal. If he works with you just be strictly business. I too had a relationship at work with a coworker. I broke it off and this is what I did. If he persists let him know that it is over and you have moved on. Handle your business at home by talking to your husband about his interest level. Don't tell about the affair. If the guy threatens you be prepared to face the music. The best way is no contact with this guy and no interest.

Answer 5

What do u mean what should u do? U want to start a free sex service for him? R u seriously considering that? He just needs sex, from u or anyone else who's available and not threatening to him in anyway.. tell him im not interested,may be he will angry and avoid u some days,and after that evythg will b all right,u will get back him as a friend

Answer 6

Man, you're in a sticky situation, this is why you NEVER have an affair with coworkers, it gets too complicated when the affair's over.

If you really mean this, you may have to see if you can get transferred w/i your company so that you don't have to see/work with this person anymore. It may even mean you quit your job.

You might want to work on your marriage as well, or look into leaving your husband if you feel it's past saving. Having affairs just isn't cool though, and not fair to you or him.

Good luck.

Answer 7

I have cheated as well on my wife. I still think about her sometimes, but i know what i did was wrong.

I would be honest with person and tell him; I appreciate you being my friend but I just cant do this anymore. Your relationship may be open but mine is not. As for your home life not being any good, you may have to move on.

Answer 8

What do u mean what should u do? U want to start a free sex service for him? R u seriously considering that? He just needs sex, from u or anyone else who's available and not threatening to him in anyway..

Answer 9

while you're to stay together with her the two she or the different fellow might desire to discover a sparkling activity someplace else for particular. looks she is an elementary mark for every person which will pay interest to her, some women by no capacity initiate up issues yet seem to flow alongside if somebody else does and a few are very submissive which you are going to have performed a hand in transforming into. the universal concern right it extremely is the toddlers, the long term wellbeing of each of you and your spouse and your funds. Is she struggling with to maintain the marriage going? do you desire to stay together with her? the toddlers are those being taken hostage right here in all this. It sounds out of your archives supplied that she relatively needs to maintain the marriage going. that does no longer propose that next time she is approached she might have the capacity to stand up to so there is very lots of paintings to be achieved mutually by capacity of the two considered one of you. you will by no capacity discover yet another mom on your toddlers and you will by no capacity no longer might desire to deal together with her in case you divorce as a results of marriages grandkids relatives events, funds and so on she will have the capacity to be a extensive component of your existence for some years besides so whats the wear and tear in attempting to paintings it out? i think of you will possibly desire to the two be extremely straightforward and do a very great deal of speaking with regard to the destiny and purely adequate with regard to the previous to place it at the back of you. you are able to sail into the destiny dragging yesterdays anchor. I desire you success and could guess which you do make it mutually

Answer 10

Do you like him or just need a company?
Maybe you should talk to both your coworker and your husband. Tell your coworker your feelings towards him, and tell your husband that you need more concern from him. I guess communication is a good way out. =)