I need to leave but I have 7 children and no job or money of my own.
I can't take it anymore. 21 yrs of this. Tonight he smashed and crashed through the house because the icemaker didn't work.
He scares me.
Now my 3 boys have terrible tempers. My oldest (19) threw a cup of water across the kitchen because we were out of something he wanted.
Today my youngest (5) slammed down a bowl because he got mad at me. This is new behaviors for both of them! They have tempers like their dad, but haven't thrown anything or slammed stuff.
I need to leave before it's too late.
Their father has NEVER harmed any of us physically but inside he is killing us all.
How do I leave? I have no job, no house for 7 kids.
I would love to be able to make him leave but I don't know how to.
Please help me.
2006-07-25 18:57:19 · 12 answers · asked by Eliza 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Should I even try to go for counceling?
I have been silent all these years and never yelled at him or anything. I have helped him be the jerk he is by my silence.
I am just scared.
I don't know what to do. I am supposed to be leaving for 4 days (family stuff) should I leave him a letter telling him that he better shape up or I will leave, at least give him a chance to change?
2006-07-25 19:12:57 · update #1
First off.......tell him to leave. And if need be, have the police there to escort him. DO NOT leave your home. It is harder to get back if you get a divorce.
Find a womans shelter and ask them to help you find a job first off. They can give you some options or catholic social services. They can help you with what options you have to remove him safely from the home. Then as soon as he gets out go to the court and file for child support.
Your older children it may be already to late, if they have seen this go on for years they're going to be just like him. But there is hope that it won't happen.
You really need to sit him down and tell him how this is killing you and that you can't take it anymore, that maybe he should get help with or without you. That will be the only way to save anything. Honesty is the best policy.
2006-07-25 19:10:37 · answer #1 · answered by rdhedhottie 5 · 7⤊ 0⤋
properly the sturdy aspect is that you've realized you're in an abusive courting and favor to go away. and also you should no longer be embarrassed that your marriage failed because the guy you married ended up no longer being a guy in spite of each and every thing, reason there is not any excuse to abuse a woman. Your plan seems ok yet first i imagine you should discover an component to the position you're going. seem for a job there earlier you arrive so that you may have some thing set. seem for residences there so that you wont finally end up in a city the position employ is outrageous. Do your study and function numbers and handle accessible earlier you go away. %. some snack packs for you and your kiddo and function funds waiting accessible for the line. only comprehend the position you're going so that you may have a vacation spot and function issues set up for once you get there. do you should love numerous help i'm more effective than keen to be there for you. i changed into once in an abusive courting so i comprehend how not easy it might want to be. Please enable me comprehend if i can do some thing for you. God bless you!
2016-11-26 00:19:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call a domestic violence shelter in your area and ask them for some help. They may not be able to supply shelter direclty because there is no physical abuse but that is emotional abuse and it needs to stop. They can at least point you in the right direction.They can help you find training for a job and tell you where to go to apply for assistance in getting housing. If you are unsure of where one is, do a search. If you can't do a search from home, go to the library, or call a health department or police station. If you can't find anything out, go to Human services and ask for a caseworker there that can help you out.
Good Luck!!
2006-07-25 19:02:53 · answer #3 · answered by Jen 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
21yrs of marriage, 7 kids = Alimony and child support.
He will have to pay for the lawyer too. Go to a shelter for now, meet with a lawyer, get some legal advice, have your husband removed from the home, you move back in with the children.
Oh, document everything he says and does to you and to the house. he brakes something, write it down along with the date and how much that item may have cost.
This will help the attorneys build a case on abuse against him and help you get the support you will need for this family including counseling. YOU AND YOUR KIDS ARE BEING ABUSED!
2006-07-25 19:13:16 · answer #4 · answered by scorpiochick668 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a job then leave because his behavior is starting to have an effect on the kids
2006-07-25 19:09:30 · answer #5 · answered by phillyhottie000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you need to seek legal advice and go to your local county office and ask for assistants. After you have that squared away kick that @sshole out of the house. Get stability but do not show it to your husband that you are leaving him for good.
2006-07-25 19:04:26 · answer #6 · answered by butterfly 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find the nearest shelter and go to it Your oldest should get a JOB if he doesnt have one tantrums are a learned behavior get them away from from him and they will stop leave leave leave
2006-07-25 19:08:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to a women's shelter now...you can find one in the yellow pages...start calling...you are being abused....
you can get counseling there and help with your problem...a good lawyer can get him out of the house...and your husband will probably be paying this good lawyer...not you....
your children are suffering and will be abusive people when they are adults...think of your children...get out...call that women's shelter now...
2006-07-25 19:05:35 · answer #8 · answered by intelligentbooklady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have divorce ,if he is not willing to give to u than there r a lot of man who r ready to kiss u infront of him,then i think he will divorce u!!
2006-07-25 19:05:58 · answer #9 · answered by terri 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get help from Welfare department
2006-07-25 21:19:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋