When it comes to sexual violence how much accountability should women have?

Question

I was having a conversation with my wife the other day and the topic of rape came up. It came up because she was going out alone and dresed like a prostitute. So I asked her.. Arent you worried about being attacked? Dressed like that you might just attract the wrong kind of guy. To which she replied... I should be able to wear whatever I want.. Are sticking up for rapists? hmmm
Of course I'm not sticking up for them I'm ust acknowledging the fact that they are out there... why attract their attention? If you swim with sharks don't be angry when they bite..... that's all I was trying to say

Answer 1

I agree with you...

I will never advocate violence towards anyone but. One must take precautions and resposibility for ones actions.

You would not leave ur front and back door open at night would you? If you got robbed you would not feel a bit responsible. Its as easy as closing them.

Yes it would be great if we could all "do what we want with out worring about things" but it is not the way things are.

Women who use that argument just don't understand the difference between they way things should be and the way things are in life.

Answer 2

She should have no accountability because no one has the right to touch any woman or man without permission. I can't stand when people think it is because of what a person is wearing that gets a person raped. The rapist only looks for the opportunity not what a victim is wearing. There are many women who were fully dressed and still have gotten raped. What about the elderly woman and children that get raped? I am pretty sure it wasn't the clothes that they were wearing that attracted the rapist to them. The person who should be accountable is the rapist because rape is a crime and dressing sexy isn't.

Answer 3

In Saudi Arabia, for instance, men don't rape women on streets. And it's not because women are dressed in those robes that cover them entirely, with only eyes left uncovered, but because of the fact that the punishment is death. No questions asked. (If I understood you correctly, we're not talking here about due respect to all human beings in general.)
We in Europe and America ask too many questions wheh those things are concerned. A "no" is a "no", whether a woman is a stripper or a nun.
And, btw, if you can say for your own wife that she dresses like a prostitute, something is very wrong about your relationship.

Answer 4

Your wife is correct in that she should be able to wear what she wants.

You are correct in that there are rapists and sexual deviants on the prowl (many of them, in fact)

These predators will also attack a women who is dressed like a nun, a librarian or a tomboy - they are not overly selective.

I think drink spiking is more of an issue these days - my fiance has no issue with me going out ot what I wear but he has lectured me time after time to guard my drinks. He also insists that I leave a drink untouched and buy another if I have turned my back on it for a nanosecond. His protectiveness doesn't worry me though - he's just concerned for my wellbeing.

Answer 5

In the legal cases covered in her book, Dr. Sanday describes how defense lawyers portrayed the women bringing rape charges by a host of stereotypes: the sexually insatiable, the blackmailer, the extortionist or the woman scorned.

"Consistently, the forensic evidence was and is swept under the rug, eyewitness evidence is ignored, and the defense concentrates on attacking the character of the woman," said Dr. Sanday. The complainants, not the perpetrators, end up standing trial.

This wasn't true in earliest Puritan times when both genders were thought to have the same sexual desire and both were expected to keep this desire under control.

"It was in the 18th century, at the birth of the nation, that we embraced the dual notion that men have uncontrollable sexual desires and women are passionless," Dr. Sanday noted. Proper women were expected to keep men in control. If a situation got out of control, it was considered the woman's fault.

In the 1960s, the United States started accepting the idea that women have sexual desires and should be free to express them. But the old notion that it was a woman's job to control sexual situations by the way she looked and acted did not change. Neither did the belief that a woman who accuses a man of rape is a woman scorned by an innocent man.

Significant activism for change began in the 1970s with the formation of the anti-rape movement. Women challenged the belief that males are not accountable for their behavior toward women. Rape laws were changed to protect women complainants from being tried according to the old stereotypes.

Yet the old stereotypes prevailed, especially in cases of acquaintance rape. Dr. Sanday's book was prompted by the comment of a juror, explaining to a reporter why he voted for acquittal in a rape trial involving students from St. Johns' University in 1991. "What was that thing that Shakespeare said?" he asked. " 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned?' " Similar arguments were used in the Anita Hill-Clarence Thomas case and in the William Kennedy Smith case, which Dr. Sanday also examined.

Today, anti-rape activism is widespread on college campuses. Dr. Sanday believes that this movement constitutes a sexual revolution far more profound than the 1960s sexual revolution because male and female students are in it together, struggling against the old ideas.

A backlash against this movement began in the 1990s with books by Camille Paglia and Katie Roiphe, who argued that uncontrollability is a natural--not a social--force among men. "As defenders of existing stereotypes, these women became heroines of the status quo," said Dr. Sanday.

"As long as men are not accountable for their actions, women will be sexually abused," she argued. "We have to extend the dialogue of anti-rape activism to universities and high schools across the nation. We must talk about our notions of sexuality and about who should be accountable for what.

"Men should realize that if a women doesn't say clearly that she wants to have sex with him, he may have to account for his actions in court. We must treat sexual aggression for what it is, a criminal, not a manly, act. That's how we can advance the cause of greater equality between the sexes," she concluded.

Answer 6

Well, actually its not dressing pretty or anything. Rapists are sick. They will attack a nurse, because in their mind that is hot, or the sick ***** that rape little girls, or the guys that like animals or whatever. There is really no answer why they do it...but not going out by yourself is a way to prevent it. You should make your wife get a friend or take her yourself.

Answer 7

Women have no accountability. People are living life, not asking to have violence committed against them. Most people dress sexily these days, if your theory were true everyone would be getting raped all the time and it would not be a crime.

Get your wife mace that she can carry with her, a cell phone, and a friend.

Answer 8

I agree and I've had this conversation with lady friends. Just because its her RIGHT to wear whatever and go where ever, that doesn't make it a good idea, If the gals can't learn to use common sense, they just got to pay the consequences.

They want equality. There's no Affirmative Action in an alley.

Answer 9

its a not a matter of accountability, its a matter of just being safe. Is it your fault if tomorrow morning you go to the bank and withdraw 5,000. dollars and on your way to the office you have a flat tire and then someone comes up behind you and hits you in the head and steals all of your money. You have the right to carry as much money as you want without becoming a victim. but then in the REAL WORLD we have to watch how we dress, how we talk to strangers, what we carry on our body--there is no substitute for being street smart. Your wife has a right to dress the way she wants to express her personality as you have the same right to carry as much money in your wallet---but if you flash to someone that you are not street smart and are vulnerable, then you could get hurt or wind up dead. That's just the way it is---and its better to be safe than to be the lead story on the six o'clock news./ Good luck.

Answer 10

Your wife should divorce you.
I don't care if a woman walks down the street naked, it doesn't give anyone the right to rape her. You're probably the kind that also thinks a woman had it coming if she was at home in her own bed asleep and naked, and someone breaks in and rapes her.
You're a moron, and you should be thankful any woman even wants to be with you.