so..Wjat do u think of this poem- brutally honest answers appreciated...?

Question

You thought i was to young to remember, just a stupid kid
well your stupid kid is sure as hel stupid, mest up as can be
and all becasue of that f-ing" faulty" memory
I was your white elephant, unique but worthless...
what were ou to do with me??
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A CURE WILL NEVER BE FOUND!
Don’t believe that politician who has stock in everything he talks about
Propaganda so twisted
So many laws that construct business
Hope & truth so distant
Sadly we’re pretty much communism~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So kill me and pretend to cry ..
as I fall apart in torture, andeventually die
They killed my heart slowly for all the years of my life
And when they knew I caught on, they killed me all over again on the outside
Right now im not concious but I can tell u whats goin on Daddy and mommy said it was an accident
They say it was my fault, that I was fricken on dope
Then explain the f**king hands marks around my purple throat!

Answer 1

I had dreams about Edna as I read the poem.

Answer 2

Don’t believe that politician who has stock in everything he talks about
Propaganda so twisted
So many laws that construct business
Hope & truth so distant
Sadly we’re pretty much communism~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I liked this part particularly.
In general, you seemed to capture a specific feeling and mood and outlook.
Though you are writing from an angry, victim stance, so keep processing!
I think you have the right kind of inspiration for writing.
Personally, I didn't catch your drift much of the time, but that's okay, too.
I think you should keep on writing
and as you write more, you will hone your skills so that imagery will come to you more.
Good luck!

Answer 3

You sound pissed off about somthing.
your prose is not up to snuff..
If you really want to write poetry first you should learn to write.
Stay in school study and write you should also maybe read more

One thing you should know is that when you cry out to the world and bear your soul with tears in your eyes... the world only thinks you are a whiney little simp.. So toughen up and put pen to paper and write somthing that is not a play for sympathy.

Answer 4

Wow, if this something about something bad happening to you, well, poetry is an expression of what we feel! Keep writing and letting it out. Never know, someone might relate to this in more ways than one.

You sound as if you have been abused. If so, sorry to hear that.

Wow, that poem has an effect on me.

Answer 5

I like to write too and I encourage u to continue. No matter what I think as well as others u should write for a special purpose in your heart. keep me posted on more of your writing at www.piczo.com/re15flashes or [e-mail]

Answer 6

I felt like a beatnik in a club wondering what you did with your bongoes. Sorry! I don't know your age, but maybe the older generation will understand.

Answer 7

Wow, deep, heavy and one to make you think....that is from the corners of the mind of a hurt individual.......best wishes in your life and your writing....you are talented for a reason only those in the darkest recesses of life could know......good luck

Answer 8

IT SOUNDS LIKE A PEOM ABOUT A TROUBLED TEENAGE LIFE--WHICH IS NORMAL BY THE WAY. IF YOU FEEL THE FEELINGS IN YOUR POEM JUST KNOW THAT AS YOU GROW OLDER YOU MAKE YOUR OWN WORLD AND IT BECOMES BETTER AS YOU DECIDE WHAT YOU ALLOW IN IT AND WHO YOU ALLOW TO AFFECT IT. OTHERWISE JUST KEEP WRITING TO GET IT OUT, IF YOU DON'T FEEL THE WAY YOUR POEM IS THEN--GOOD DRAMA.

Answer 9

Better than I expected ------ there is a magazine called 'Myslexia' that has loads of poetry competitions in it - give it a go!!!

You can find it on the net

Answer 10

try not to attempt to rhyme..some of the best poetry doesn't rhyme.. make it flow...shorter sentences.. try to make the person reading really guess what your message is. In a way that they can relate, it can mean one thing for you, but another for someone else..