I am divorcing my husband of 5 years. He has some type of psycological problem that we had sexless marriage for 5 years. He was also financially irresponsible and not nice to my family. He was a very selfish person. Yet, we did have good times and we did have connection. However, I can see I was emotionally abused. I have no self esteem now. Now, he is begging me, making changes to make me stay. My family is fed up with him that he wasn't treating me right and talking bad about him to me all the time. At my mental state right now, it feels they are putting me down. Because I choose him to marry and stayed with him for 5 years. I agree with my family in alot of things. But they don't understand we had good times and I tried to keep my marriage. It feels they are taking their anger towards him out on me. Would they feel ok if it was their marriage?
2006-07-25 18:07:35 · 13 answers · asked by whattodo898 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I again feel emotionally feel abused by them as well. I feel so alone. I need their support yet now it seems my husband is the one who understands me now. Am I just being abused left and right or am I just too sensitive right now? Or am I not seeing the abuser and not angry enough as I should be?
2006-07-25 18:08:59 · update #1
I fought, argue, beg, ask for 5 years of marriage about my problems to my husband and he didn't do anything. Now he says he will change and making change.
2006-07-25 18:09:57 · update #2
ITs abuse, you need to talk to people at your local domestic violence center. They'll help you and help you sort it all out. They are wonderful and save my life.
2006-07-25 18:10:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you picked a real winner in the first place. How well did you know this person before marrying him? If the relationship is worth saving; try, if not call it quits. But give the guy a break don't take him for all he is worth in a divorce. Some people are spiteful leaches when it comes to saying good by in a divorce court. You have only one life to live, make your own decisions and take responsibility for them and your actions. As far as your family is concerned let what they say and do just whiz through without staying. If you are tired of only hearing the negative things tell them so, and say "If they don't have anything good to say about you; or your husband, don't say anything."
As far as not having sex for the past 5 years is concerned if you don't have any kids at all give me a call. That problem I could remedy for you quite easily. Take care and best of luck. WB
2006-07-25 18:31:40 · answer #2 · answered by Walter B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abuse comes in all forms...physical. emotional, and mental.
Apparently you are so worn down at the moment that you can't think straight. I suggest that you seek some type of counseling and build up your emotional strength and either work it out with him, or move on.
As for your family, they probably feel this way towards him because he has hurt someone they love, YOU. Understand that they only want the best for you and you can't see it at the moment. You have been beat down and need to reach inside for inner strength. You can do it, but it will take some time.
The key here is to try and be strong and take care of yourself...the family will come around and you will either make it or not with your husband.
Whatever happens, be true to YOURSELF! This will pass and remember "What doesnt't kill you makes you stronger".
Take care.
2006-07-25 18:17:05 · answer #3 · answered by fourcolor4u2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need space to clear your head. Seperate from your husband and stop contact with him for a while. Set up some boundaries with your family, tell them that certain topics are not for discussion, such as your ex or your life, talk about the weather, the house, anything just aslong as it's light. You need to make some new freinds, take up a class, go for a walk, go out and meet some new people and don't talk about your problems with them. Talk about your problems with a counsellor, it'll help you to not lean on people who are making you feel worse about yourself. Just remember that this is your life and you have control over how you choose to live.
2006-07-25 18:14:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First step is to think about you. It does sound like you are getting it from all sides. Step back, and get some counseling. DO NOT just go back to a sexless marriage, and a finacially challenged man, because it seems ok now. You have to give yourself time, and get your self-esteem back. Good luck, sweetie!
2006-07-25 18:14:40 · answer #5 · answered by MOI 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need some good counseling help. See if there are any women's abuse programs in the area that can help you.
They may be connected with a women's shelter. You need to do what works for you. You make choices for you and live with the consequences. Choose what works for you and recover your self esteem and self confidence.!
2006-07-25 18:13:04 · answer #6 · answered by Elwood 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard time in your life and you are sensitive to all that goes on around you. You need your family, but they aren't the greatest suport system right now. Ifyou feel alone, then tell them. Tell them how you feel. They are your family so they should be there for you always. ~
2006-07-25 18:12:37 · answer #7 · answered by pinneapple_418 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah ... All you women are so "emotionally" abused these days. Why don't you take a look at your self ! Maybe you are doing something to make him act this way . Have you been letting your self go ? Become fat and ugly ? Are you being bossy and controlling ?
http://www.nomarriage.com/
2006-07-25 18:27:34 · answer #8 · answered by trollmannen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes,You need to leave and not be near him for 3-4 months .Then he will realise your value and come back .This is of course if he really loves you.Hey this has worked for the worst of marriages.
2006-07-25 18:43:21 · answer #9 · answered by chocolate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should tell your family that you need there support right now not then ti be mean to you and yes it dose sound like you were emotionally abused you should get away from everyone and try to figure it out for your self.
2006-07-25 18:22:13 · answer #10 · answered by jam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
firstly, shorten ur questions, these long ones tend to lead to the reader nodding off.....
look all family bag the ex out to their loved one because they think its what u want to hear, they think theyre boosting your confidence by telling you that ur ex is a nob, but what they dont realise is when they say it, it inturn makes u feel like the nobess for marrying him. What theyre really trying to say is ur worth more, u got out and now u can be happy and start a new life.
2006-07-25 18:16:21 · answer #11 · answered by Aussieblonde -bundy'd 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋