Baby's father wants me to abort!?

Question

I'm a totally against his wishes. Here is the situation. I have been involved with this many on every level of friendship to relationship for 13 years. I have a child that is two & half (but not with him) he has 2 children from a past marriage from when he was younger. While I was involved with my daughters father He was involved & still is (but its a terrible relationship) with the mother of his 3rd child (the pride of his life-his son). We have talked & talked about being together when the timing is right. When changes could be made & everyone was prepared to deal with everything. This is a situation where no matter what some people will get hurt. We knew that! Any way I just found out that I'm pregnant(which we have talked about having a baby together) when things were right. But timing is not always right so I'm pregnant now. I feel very strongly that abortion is tolttaly wrong& I cant give a baby up 4 adopt. he begged me to have an abortion. how do i make him understnd

abortion & adoption are COMPLETELY out of the question. This is sooo ****** up!

I have loved this man for 13 years But I feel so much hate for him right now for asking (no he begged) me to do this & told me that he has no choice because my mind is made up & is afraid he will lose everything he has with his son. He told me he loves me a hell of a lot more than he loves her But loves his son more than ANYTHING ELSE. & his son is here now walking this earth & whats growing inside me is NOTHING RIGHT NOW!!!

MY mind has been made up I WILL NOT ABORT!!!! I WILL NOT how do I deal with all this. Part of me wonders if this is the time for me to get my dream & if it was the path that was made for my life its just climbing & falling & climbing & fallind down that mountain before i finnaly reach the top.

Answer 1

when he looks into his babies eyes...he will understand.

Answer 2

It isn't necessary that he understand. You should look at it for what it is - your decision to make. He has a say in the matter, but that doesn't make him right. Me, I am a strong proponent of choice, but that means just that - a choice. If you choose to have the baby, then that's the end of it. He can just shut up after that.

Unfortunately, as others have pointed out, that also puts more stress on you. Legally, he has to help pay the costs associated with the child, but he doesn't have to be directly involved with him or her (check your local laws for how this actually works). So the question you have to ask yourself is this: Can I raise this child without the father in the picture; i.e., can I rely on me and my family for the resources and sacrifices it will take to bring up this infant? If the answer is in any way yes, then the decision is already made.

Here's a link to webMD's abortion pages:

http://www.webmd.com/hw/womens_conditions/tw1043.asp

Additionally, here's a link to webMD's pages on unwanted pregnancy:

http://www.webmd.com/content/article/85/98750.htm

Hopefully, the facts will help. Remember, though he has a true interest, the choice is yours to make, not his. Let you and your family decide what is best, be it abortion, adoption, or raising the child. Namaste.

Answer 3

I am sorry to hear about this. Don't do it! My in laws want me to abort the child I am carrying. ( 4 1/2 months along) I will not do it. I suggest to break up with this man and have this child. Make sure you get child support from him. He is not worth it if he wants you to abort your child.


My inlaws don't want to have anything to do with me or this baby.( Hubby & I have been married for 5 years and we have a 3 year old son) Like you the timing wasn't right. But God dosen't give us anything we can't handle.
Tell him he has a choice. He can marry you and you two can make a loving family together. Or with in 2 months I will be out of your life and you will pay for this child.

Answer 4

I am totally against abortion, I know what I believe doesn't matter to you, BUT If you feel strongly against it then sweetie, stick to it. There is a reason that baby exist in you, it may not be that big right now, but it is a living being. If he decides that he doesn't want it then let him make that decision. The Lord will never put to much on your shoulders. you will be just fine. In 7,8,9 months you will look that baby in the eyes and wonder how you could have ever thought about doing such a thing. I beg you, please don't . someone has to have a voice for your beautiful baby.May the Lord bless you and keep you safe.

Answer 5

Sad to say but he's a man. I don't think anything will make him understand. Let him know your feelings on abortion and if he leaves he is scum, sue for child support and live the rest of your life with no regrets for ending the life of your unborn child. Just because the timing isn't right is no excuse for him to demand an abortion. Stick up for your beliefs

Don't listen to Joe W. He obviously has never even come close to losing a baby, by miscarriage, SIDS, or abortion.If you don't want to do it, then it's not worth it.

Answer 6

Ultimately it is your choice, I wouldn't let anyone dictate you on what to do. The obvious reason he wants an abortion is that he doesn't want the responsibility of being a father again. Financially, he may not be up for it which is completely understandable. You have a child of your own, which doesn't make the situation any better. Adoption may be your best bet, since I don't think you can convince him to get married or change his mind.

Answer 7

i did not abort. when I got here across out i replaced into pregnant with my son I had purely left my sons father a month beforehand. i replaced into on the pill and it failed... i got here across out at 9 weeks. I had instructed him on the start of our 2 twelve months courting that he had the alternative to apply a 2d type of birth control (condoms or spermicide) because if I were given pregnant i does no longer abort. He chosen no longer to. when I instructed him i replaced into preg he begged me to have an abortion. i easily experience undesirable for men because if I woman decides she's no longer waiting, she will be able to abort without worrying what he needs. If a guy isn't waiting and asks her to abort, maximum folk imagine he's a terrible man or woman. I instructed my ex I wasn't aborting yet he ought to signal over his rights that can enable him an "out". He did not yet nevertheless isn't there for our son. purely because the bio dad isn't round, does no longer mean the youngster will boost up fatherless. My son has had a good father figure in his existence on account that he replaced right into a twelve months previous (he's 4 now). He calls my hubby daddy and with the exception of DNA, he's his father!

Answer 8

why would u wanna go back with him if he is still involved with his son's mom? u know he will always be doing this , does he go to her cause of the son? its messed up if thats it, he apparently still has strong feelings for her or just messing with her. girl get with someone who is fully single. and for u being pregnant tell him and dont get an abortion or put up for adoption, yall both made the baby tell him to either stick with his son's mom or be with u , he cant be with both of yall its like hes having all he wants and its not fair. yea it will be hard being a single mother but dont put u or ur baby in harm or stress thats the least u need right now. use birthcontrol use condoms. he wouldnt have told u to get an abortion if u were careful tell him to keep his manhood in his pants if he dont wanna keep any baby.

Answer 9

juggalorev is a butthead, ignore him. If both of u are talking about being with each other "when the time is right", then a baby will make that time come sooner or not at all, most likely sooner. But regardless, if u want to keep it dont penalize him for not wanting it, just do what u gotta do & things will work out.

Answer 10

He is a babymaking machine so I don't understand that he wants you to abort.If he is involved with two women at the same time then he is a weirdo.If it was me then I would not go.I would have that baby and he has no right to push you into something what you don't wanna do.If you wan't this baby then have it and don't be pressured by him.He did make you pregnant so he sould take responsibility for his actions

Answer 11

If he likes you enough to do it with you, but not to help bring a child into the world, then you might be better off moving on. Or it could be that he just doesn't want the responsibility of another child.