looking for brutally honest answers, im thinking about writing songs for a band but not sure if they're good enough. heres one a taste of a recent slam poem
~ I tell u the truth But you would rather keep the lie So don’t believe me By law u have the power So kill me and pretend to cry as I fall apart in torture, n eventually die And just explain the story tell your lawyer I wouldn’t say sorry She wouldn’t say sorry I just couldn’t stand the sarcasm anymore I’d rather kill er and watch er die I’d rather sit and stare at the blood, the glorious gore Than hear her not apologize Put em in jail! Plz look what they have done They killed my heart slowly for all the years of my life And when they knew I caught on, they killed me all over again on the outside Right now im not concious but I can tell u whats goin on Daddy and mommy said it was an accident They say it was my fault, that I was fricken on dope Then explain the f**king hands marks around my purple throat ! ~
2006-07-25 16:52:44 · 12 answers · asked by me 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
lol love the honesty!
about the spelling and grammer tho, since its a slam poem i really wasnt focusing on that
2006-07-25 17:04:53 · update #1
its not a poem, the spelling is really bad, and its altogether bad.
2006-07-25 16:56:27 · answer #1 · answered by judy_r8 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For me a poem has to have rhythm. It does not always ought to rhyme nevertheless it demands to hit my feelings. I feel readability of expression is foremost as good. I do not love to moment bet what I'm studying approximately. I regularly seem for what I time period "poetic gemstones"within the textual content.
2016-08-28 17:51:50 · answer #2 · answered by gombos 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was kind of hard to read and a little hard to understand but over all it wasn't really my style but it sounded like a good song for a rock band good luck.
2006-07-25 17:08:46 · answer #3 · answered by $~*DAT DAMN CHICK*~$ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a rock song. It actually sounds like something Nickelback would sing, and i mean that in a good way. Keep writing.
2006-07-25 16:58:28 · answer #4 · answered by hermione_bjc_06 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
spelling is poor. hard to follow. not written like a poem.
2006-07-25 17:00:09 · answer #5 · answered by luvbuggies 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kind of hard to read...Edit it and put each line as a new line.
2006-07-25 16:56:30 · answer #6 · answered by Aki 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems kinda typical, all about death and dying and being sad, but if thats whats cool now then it was good
2006-07-25 17:09:00 · answer #7 · answered by matt p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're lying about something...
I'll give you some time to rethink your life... -_-
2006-07-25 16:56:53 · answer #8 · answered by neksute 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I think it sucks... and you have one bad mental problem... Get Help...
2006-07-25 17:01:48 · answer #9 · answered by redneckwoman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats awsome. good luck with more songs! ^_^
2006-07-25 16:59:31 · answer #10 · answered by dubblehugs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋