It's not that I do not want to, but I am scared for some reason. Is there any way of getting over being scared? The only thing I can think of is to not do it. But then I would probably have to tell him, and I really do not want to tell him that I am scared...
2006-07-25 16:25:43 · 47 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Have you ever done it before? Let him know that something is bothering you, you can work through it together. There's nothing worse for a relationship than not being open about things. I'm not trying to sound like I'm talking down to you, because I actually understand. Just talk to him about it.
2006-07-25 16:29:25 · answer #1 · answered by Mama23Girls 6 · 12⤊ 2⤋
By sex I presume you mean anal -- I assume you are already having frontage and oral and so forth.
You are scared that it will hurt, or that it will be dirty, or that your fecal mercenaries will attack the friendly invader.
So first, tell him that. Ask him to hold you and be close to you and tell him.
Then, work toward being able to have sex. He should be rimming you regularly (show him this) and being very gentle and telling you how much he loves you. The two of you should get a SMALL dildo (the big things are stupid) and use lotion and use it as a toy until you are comfortable with it in there while he s**ks your d**k. Ask him if he will love you no matter what. Once you are sure he does, some of the fear will go away. Use an enema prior to sex if you worry exorbinately about that (though I got to tell you -- almost 15 years with my lover, none of that).
One day sooner than you think ,you will realize you actually want him to do it.
And then, like magic, it will happen.
*hug*
Good luck,
Reyn
believeinyou24@yahoo.com
2006-07-25 16:33:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Liam
If your boyfriend is worth his salt, then there is no way he's going to suggest something to scare you. I'm afraid you do need to tell him what it is that scares you. He needs to understand what it is that is troubling you. Then you should both identify how far you are prepared to go in your lovemaking.
You strike me as a young man with all his days ahead of him. You and your boyfriend have plenty of time to discover each other and the ways ahead. Then, one day, you may want to go that extra step.
And it will be so much more fulfilling when you do want to have sex with him.
2006-07-25 19:58:53 · answer #3 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Isolate what it is that you are scared of - - is it the boyfriend or the prevalent argument that sex is wrong evil sin-full the fear that if sex happened you will be tainted for all eternity. And it could be a very real 'radar' in your mind - - maybe there is something wrong that you or others might not see or perceive yet it is there. There are times when you must listen to your inner voices. Choices such as these are fraught with danger. Especially in these Christian/Muslim/Jewish/Etc era wherein all forms of non-procreative sex are deemed deadly. Peace.
2006-07-25 22:31:52 · answer #4 · answered by JVHawai'i 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be scared. It will probably hurt a lot...
Umm... Ok, let me think like a gay-con-artist...
Tell him you were raped when you were little by some stranger and you'll need some time to get over the hurt.
If he's insensitive about it, dump him and find a less horny bf. Maybe someone on your level.
If he's sensitive about it, then congratulations, you have found a sucker and can permanently pathologically lie to him to convince him to do what you want.
...or you could just suck it up and do it.
2006-07-25 16:30:24 · answer #5 · answered by neksute 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are scared then don't. Tell him how you feel and if he understands, then great. If he doesn't, then to heck with him. Also, if you are scared to tell him, then he may not be right for you. I feel if you can't tell him, then he more than likely is not the one for you. If you want, e-mail me. I won't really discuss bedroom talk on an open board as it is not the place. Take care.
2006-07-25 16:53:16 · answer #6 · answered by yokaimayhem 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should feel comfortable enough to be 100% honest and have him respect you. Otherwise, he may not be the right guy for you at this time. Sex should come from a place of love, or at least trust, so be good to yourself and make sure all the ingredients feel right to you before you have sex. It is wonderful when with the right person. Good luck to ya, buddy. Peace!
2006-07-25 16:52:31 · answer #7 · answered by Cub6265 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are scared that mean you probably are not ready for such a huge step in your relationship. There is nothing wrong with talking to him and telling him how you feel. If he loves you for who you are and not just what he wants to get from you he will understand. Just take your time and do it when you feel ready too.
2006-07-25 16:30:11 · answer #8 · answered by Lisa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't do a thing till you feel ready, but i's perfectly natural to feel scared your first time - everyone who has had sex was at least a bit scared the first time.
But if you don't feel ready, don't do it!!! You can only do it for the first time once, so you should beel your boyfriend really is someone you want to lose your virginity too.
oh yeah - always use a condom.
2006-07-25 16:30:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel. Ask him to go slow and tell him what you want and how. In time you will get over being scared and enjoy it
2006-07-25 17:57:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hye there...
How are you?
Does everything run well...
Dear..in this kind of situation..
You must act in a very wise way...
And the most important thing is your willingness and think twice are you really ready for that and all the risks it will bring?
by the way.. how old are you??
All actions we make will bring consequences/// but that's life dear...
Just be mature and really know what you are doing...
Don't regret what you've done...
I think we can be friends... mail me at : Liz_honiz@yahoo.co.uk
me,
liz
2006-07-25 18:29:52 · answer #11 · answered by Quensi3 Granizewska 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋