It is a second marriage for both of us and he says it is best to be very clear about these things. It is to protect me as much as him. Since I dont have any assets to protect I am not sure how that can be. So? what do I do? Do I have any choice? It seems like while I am planning for our future, he is planning for our break-up.
2006-07-25 16:11:45 · 31 answers · asked by carol 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
People make to big of a deal about these things, "oh it's so un-romantic" yeah well marriage is more then just flowers and puppy dogs. Seriously since it is your second marriage it probally is best for the two of you, it dosent mean that he plans on breaking up with you he just wants to not make the same stupid mistakes you make when your young and in love. Be glad you found a intelligent man that is looking out for you as well.
2006-07-25 16:15:27 · answer #1 · answered by Crystal L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has nothing to do with love. Since it's the second time around for both of you, he probably was burned by his ex-wife, so he wants to protect himself. I don't blame him. You say you have no assets to protect; that could be why he wants a prenup -- he doesn't want you to take what little he's got left. As long as you're together, what's his is yours anyway. If you really love him and you're not marrying him for his money, this is a non-issue, and you should just sign. On the other hand, if you're thinking, "well, if we do split up, what do I get?" then you're probably better off not marrying him at all.
2006-07-25 16:24:56 · answer #2 · answered by S&S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your man was burned badly, or at least he thinks so..
I have seen how courts divide assets:
The woman gets the house, the man gets the house payment.
The woman gets the car, the man gets the car payment.
The woman gets the uranium stock, the man gets the shaft.
He simply may not be ready for another bit of sex with no love involved. In short, he may not be ready for a commitment. Only you can make the decision to walk away or hang in there. With all due respect, I do think it is a decision you should consider seriously, good or bad, the rest of your life could hang on it.
I have been married to my current wife (second in a short string) for 35 years. As I tell young people, the first 30 years are the hardest.
Consider your decision thoroughly and accept my best wishes regardless of the path you take.
2006-07-25 16:29:47 · answer #3 · answered by gimpalomg 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of people do it nowadays, especially if you both have something great to lose, which is not your case. Doesn't mean he is looking forward to a break-up, he's protecting himself as it is a 2nd marriage and I can just imagine what he could have lost in that divorce.
Besides if you have nothing to lose, then why not? I would, but then again, we brought in about half and half, so situation is totally different I know.
Just sit him down, explain you are uneasy about this and your reasons why. Maybe things can be worked out for the best and each of you will walk away happier.
At either rate, good luck in whatever you decide.
2006-07-25 16:16:30 · answer #4 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally wouldn't. I would call BS and tell him if he thinks you are going to leave him, he's high. point out that it DOESN'T protect you...if HE cheats you get nothing. Then you will have pissed it all away for him. tell him you have terms of your own. You'll sign it if there is a clause in there stating that if he is found to be cheating that he will have no rights to the marital assets. Also put a clause that if HE initiates the divorce for any reason that he must give you XXX amount to support you while you get on your feet.
Do NOT leave yourself with no options/outs! That is NOT protecting anyone but him. If he loves you, he will understand that much.
2006-07-25 16:32:35 · answer #5 · answered by kierr31 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're not interested in what he ownes now sign it. But make sure it doesn't block you from having anything that you acquire together if you break up. What about seeing if you can get a prenup made up that prevents him from getting his hands on anything you acquire during the marriage. You might not have any assets now but you may later.
2006-07-25 16:29:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure you have a choice. You don't have to sign it. I guess in this day and age, he's probably just being practical, as so many marriages end in divorce. I've never been in this situation, though, so I can't really predict how it would make me feel.
2006-07-25 16:15:48 · answer #7 · answered by Kiki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are not marrying him for money, what's the prob to sign a prenup? he has the right to protect his asset, like buy insurance for your car, that doesn't mean that you are prepared to have a accident, buy a peace of mind.everyone should sign one.divorce rate is 50%!
2006-07-25 16:18:38 · answer #8 · answered by Discovery 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to me, i feel that a prenup means i dont trust you.
trust and honesty are a big part of love. how can he say he loves you if he doesnt trust you? you will never be happy with him. this is obviously heavy on your heart. and you will always think about it.
why would he need to protect himself from you?
he thinks of you that low that he needs to protect his money from you? that only goes to show that he cares more about his assets then you or your relationship.
think before you sign..
2006-07-25 16:31:52 · answer #9 · answered by Storm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A pre-nup pretty much means you will get divorced at some point. If he wants you to sign one he is just covering his own @$$ so if you seperate he doesnt have to give you half of everything. Find someone else that actually loves you and wont make you sign something stupid as a pre-nup.
2006-07-25 16:15:39 · answer #10 · answered by eonetiller 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋