How can I live in a dorm room successfully with a white girl as ablack girl? Would'nt there be racial tension

Question

All my life I have been around blacks. I have been in contact with whites when I go downtown or go to a basketball or something like that. But I have never been friends with them or went to school with them or anything. So I am a litle nervous about living with one. Does anyone have any advice, something that could make this time a little less nerve wrecking.

Answer 1

Well dont worry about anything, I bet you will do nice friendship with the white person. As your question so far, you sound nice and very friendly and I guess if you are like that you will create a strong friendship with her.

You might not become friends or best friends at all, but I know you will be able to handle this.

Just remember to control yourself and do whats right. If in any case the white person goes over your limit or does something racial to you, try to talk to her, go to your college Cultural group to try to fix things between you and her/him.

Good luck and always remember your morals, whats right or wrong :)

Answer 2

The tension will only be there if you allow it. The more you focus on it, the more of an issue it'll seem to be. Remembe that she's just like you behind the color. You can bond over being new to dorming away from home, taking classes in a new school, and learning to deal with the umpteen other people you'll both be meeting.

If -she's- racist, that's different. But, she also might be hard to live with based on other things. Try to go colorblind and just accept her for who she is--and ask her to do the same. If she's aloof or seems to not like you, don't assume it's a racial thing right off the bat. Look for other reasons first. Maybe you didn't clean up the bathroom as much as she'd like; then again, maybe she's a slob!

There are so many better reasons to worry about dorming with someone. Try to put race out of your mind, and take it one step at a time. :) You should lay down the ground rules together right off the bat--how loud the music can be, how much sleep you need, that sort of thing. In my experience, those are the things roommates get upset about. Try to settle it upfront and you'll smooth the way for a good year.

And if have her contact info prior to leaving, send her email! Be friendly! :) Maybe you'll discover she loves the same things you do!

PS: While mentioning that you're worried about the racial thing might be a bad move for a first convo, it is ok to say that you've never been 'out of your community.' That can mean anything, from living in one town to a tiny church group. It'll get the conversation about background rolling in a non-offensive way.

Good luck for a good year!

Answer 3

Sounds like you are generating most of the tension in your head. Use this as an opportunity to expand your horizons and understanding beyond your current social network.

Your roommate is an individual and although she may be white, that does not mean you can assume that she will be so different from you. Focus on your similarities:
You both chose the same school. You are both girls of the same age. You both have a family. You both need the same things in life: air, water, food, shelter, family, friends, and shopping. :)

Most of the tension you will have (other than the ones you create in your head) will be similar to all roommates. You are living within 15 feet of another human being. There will be issues and learning to deal with each other in such close proximity is what college is all about.

Here are some tips:
Respect each others basic living needs (sleep, tv, music, friends, cleanliness, phone calls, privacy, belongings, etc.). If you both decide that you will help each other get through the year, you will take a huge step in the right direction.

Good luck!
Good luck!

Answer 4

Have to say the racial tension does seem to be coming from you. Come on! Give me a break! Why should a white roommate be an issue? Would an Asian roommate be the same issue. What about East Indian. How bout if she was black but not the same religion as you?

Don't stress about things you can't control cuz there will be more than enough people in college you wont like (and wont like you) for perfectly legitimate reasons without stressing over race etc.

Answer 5

I am white, and was the only white girl in my neighborhood growing up. I have 2 mixed daughters, and 1 white daughter, and my girls and I now live in a predominantly white town, and I have not had any problems with racial tensions. I would say, be yourself, but be open minded. It sounds like you are already setting yourself up to have problems before even meeting the girl or giving her a chance. Most people are generally good hearted and open minded people, besides, you have no idea what her background is. Give her a chance, and give yourself a chance and see how things go. Besides, just because you may not be used to being around whites too often, you will have to go to school, work, and live with them for the rest of your life, so now is as good a time as any to broaden your horizons right?

Answer 6

First of all - just be yourself, don't come off as phony, u know, a phony hello/smile or any kind of phony response. As a bf myself I would suggest not thinking ur roommates w/a wg, u just have a roommate. Who knows, the 2 of u could be the best of friends, regardless of racial differences. The 2 of u could have something in common, try finding that out, cuz eventhough we are a nation of several races, we can find a common ground within and forget that ur not the same race. Now depending if she has any preconceived ideas about blacks, there may be some tension, but you can correct it with knowledge - you know give her correct info as she may have been given incorrect ideas about blacks or is sheltered from blacks as you have been sheltered from whites. Remember, all races can get along, it just depends on the mind (narrow) of that person. Good luck and again be yourself. Cuz if you can't be yourself around anyone then you shouldn't be around them.

Answer 7

Umm, yeah, don't make a big deal out of it. You could ask the same question of how a Midwestern farm boy could get along with a SoCal surfer, but it's the sort of thing that happens all the time. Instead of focusing on your differences and using them to drive a wedge between the two of you, discuss your similarities, your families, your interests, etc. Eventually, you can discuss your racial differences if you so choose, but the fact that you're black and you're roommate will almost certainly have a much more minimal effect on your personal relationship than you believe right now. Things are only as big of a deal as you make them, so if you decide that it's an issue, then it will be. So as I said, don't sweat it, and don't make a big deal out of it. People are people, no matter what color they are.

Answer 8

I'm going to assume that you had some part in being able to pick a roommate and vice versa. That is a good indication that she is probably not overtly racist. However, racism works both ways and you have to be willing to give her the same chance you would like to receive. Even if you did not choose each other as roommates, this may be an opportunity to move outside your comfort zone and learn about another group while teaching her about your culture. It will be what you make it and hopefully you both walk away from this experience more enlightened and open-minded about people, in general. Good luck to you and congratulations on being accepted into college. It is a wonderful opportunity and a doorway to your dreams. Cherish every moment.

Answer 9

Only if you let there be tension.

If you go in expecting negative tension, there will be negative tension, but if you keep a positive outlook & anticipate the best, chances are you'll have a positive outcome. so just relax; chances are, you'll probabally end up becoming best friends by the end of the year.

Believe it or not, VERY few white people are as racist as people like to make them out to be. There are plenty of white people out there that actually prefer black collegues over ones of thier own race, especially in college, where there are very few black people that make it through.

Don't worry so much about what others will think of you, & concentrate more on what you think of yourself. You should be proud of the fact that you have managed to beat the odds & make it into college, unlike many people of either race. That should account for something, shouldn't it?

Love thy nieghbor & thy neighbour shall love thee.

Answer 10

Way back when I was in school (a gazillion years ago) I got to know and be very good friends with several black girls at our school. My room-mate was jewish, and there were students in my dorm from all over the world.

And while it was different, I look back very fondly. We were all our of our "comfort zones" and we got to know each other and become very good friends. And it's these friendships that I still cherish 30 (gasp) years later.

So instead of being anxious and uncomfortable, look upon this new adverture as a way to broaden your horizons. It's not always going to be easy... but if you make the most of it, and go in with an open mind, you will more than likely have a great experience.