Has anyone ever found out about your parent's infidelity resulting in a child being born?

Question

Has anyone ever found out that their Mother or Dad has provided you with an extra brother or sister that you have not met yet? My Dad was told recently that he is the father of a 40plus year old daughter. When did he get her? During marriage to my Mother! Isn't that something? Well I haven't met this "daughter" because she began callig my parents home demanding privledges. She also got into it / verbally on the phone with my baby sister (my reall-whole baby-sister) After that none of the rest of us (all of the real thing children) really hasn't wanted to be bothered with her.My Mother did not deserve this bs . She has stuck with my Dad through thick and thin and what a blow she got when this news was delivered. I also know for a fact that my Dad is still messing with this girl's Mother. Yes although my dad is "older" he thinks is a P-I-M-P (just a manner of speaking). Anyway, I was always known as a Daddy's girl and now I have become rather distant with him. What are your thoughts?

Answer 1

I have a full blood sister who was adopted out when parents were getting a divorce - they ended up staying together after counseling, but the baby was almost a year old so they did not try to get her back as they knew she was bonded. we were told the baby died at childbirth and found out 30 years later - too late to contact or find her as there were not enough clues, my mom was dead already from cancer and my dad had full blown alzheimers. The reason they broke up for a time was because he had an affair with a coworker.
On to your real question... It is a shame that this happened in your family - and is a big reason for NOT messing around before or during marriage. BUT - have you ever really tried to get along with your half sister? you say she is not the real thing. sorry, but she is. she may not be your mom's child, but she is your dad's child. your dad made that choice and is trying to handle as best he can. apparently he wants to have a relationship with her. i have a strong feeling that you are very upset that your position as 'favorite daddy's girl' has been threatened in your eyes, and you see her as competition. try to think of your half sister as extended family. you really are missing out on a lot of good things in life from being the way you are - stop acting immature and show your strength and endurance through compassion instead of hate. think how difficult it is for her if you think you have it bad... she probably had to endure a heck of a lot more hardship than you ever did. she did not ask to be born into this situation any more than you did. bring yourself up to a better level than the gutter level hate trip you are now on. your mom would probably have an easier time of it as well if you did, as you are adding to her stress too by the way you are acting. she surely had a blow when finding out if it indeed was a surprise to her (usually a woman has an idea before they find out though), and your actions are making it worse for her to handle things. grow up and accept things as the way they are - the other family will not suddenly vanish into the cornfield just because you wish it - they are around to stay as she is your dad's flesh and blood as much as you are. you will only drive your dad further away from you if you don't - and you are the ONLY one who can do that - your relationship with him is between you and him, if it gets ruined because of your warped idea of being the favorite Daddy's Girl then that is your own fault and no one else's. Your father has love enough for you all (the same as if you had 8 or 9 siblings - love encompasses and stretches to fit), and you could try to get along, for your own sake and the sakes of your loved ones. Best wishes.

Answer 2

Oh well grief.... a million) We do not blame God, we are creating a factor that the God you worship might be a monster if he have been truly, however, he is NOT. two) Atheists blame NOTHING on God. The dictionary is your buddy. three)I do not worship technological know-how. Can you no longer appreciate the idea of respecting with out worshiping? Science has an best monitor list and it does not declare to have the entire solutions. Science could also be self-correcting. Scientists WANT to discover the issues in earlier paintings or discovers. four) I might no longer wish a baby with colossal delivery defects, due to the fact lifestyles may also be very merciless to a baby with out a face. What is the factor of bringing a being into the arena who will endure so drastically mentally or bodily. This what we name compassion. I would possibly not carry the baby into the arena to spare myself from hell. I'll abort the baby out of compassion. five) It depends upon the severity and whether or not they are correctable. Have you noticeable Harlequin infants? YES I might abort a baby like that. I should not have it so your God approves. I'd abort it due to the fact it is the compassionate factor to do. 6) GET OVER IT. Nobody, no longer one atheist blames or credit "God" for something. Why do you no longer get this?

Answer 3

It wasn't from infidelity, but my mother had a son before she got married to my father. Instead of putting him up for adoption, she let a friend of hers raise him so that she could stll have contact with him. This was kept a secret untill both he, I, and my younger brother were told about this when I was 16 y/o and he was 17y/o.

I was extremely angry at my mother about this. I was angry that she had premarital sex, that she had kept this a secret, and that the friend of hers who she let raise my brother was very poor and had bad morals.

Our situations are not exactly the same, but similar enough that I can imagine some of the shock, anger and sense of betrayel you must feel. If your father had made one mistake, years ago and had changed his ways, that would be one thing, but for him to continue to "mess" with this other woman is something else.

You don't have to have a relationship with your 1/2 sister, especially as her attitude and behavior are so bad. My 1/2 brother and I became close but that is an individual thing.

Since you thought of yourself as Daddy's girl, I suspect that you loved, respected, and admired him. Now you have been severely
disillusioned.

What I would encourage you to do, is to pray for your father, that God would wake him up and to talk to your father and openly tell him how you feel about his behavior. If the emotion of anger isn't expressed in a productive way, It causes resentments
and distance in the relationship. Also encourage and allow your father to be open with you about his feelings and what caused him to do these things. Try not to say critical things to your father,
such as " your a creep" "or your an a**hole", that would increase his tendency to be defensive.

The truth of the matter is that your father is human with all of the frailties that go with that. I'm not excusing his behavior but hoping that you and your dad can work things out so that you can still have some kind of relationship. I never truly forgave my mother
untill I was older and had made some errors in judgement myself.

God bless you and your family and that He would give extra grace to you and your mother at this difficult time.

Answer 4

I have..... When I was 21 yrs old, I found out that I had a half brother who is several yrs older then me. But my situation is different then yours because the shoe was on the opposite foot. Meaning.......that my dad had an affair with a married woman BEFORE he ever met and married MY mom. The woman and her husband would not allow my dad to be apart of the child's life and even threatened to kill my dad if he ever showed his face around them.
The son never knew that he was the product of an affair until he was grown and then he searched for my dad and found him.
He is a welcomed part of our family now and so are his children.

Answer 5

I feel for you because I know someone in this exact situation. It is so overwhelming.

Answer 6

aww im so sorry. That's never happened to me or anyone i know... but im sorry.

Answer 7

No