My boyfriend & I got married three years ago to help him obtain residency. We moved in together and ended up falling in love. We began to refer to eachother as husband and wife (more him than I) But in Dec. 2004 I graduated college and followed my dream of moving to Miami. I went without him because in the back of my mind I would meet a white cuban (myhubby is black) that my family would approve of although in my heart I did love him. Because of the distance we began to argue. One night I met someone else and since I felt lonely, I began to date him and sleep with him. My husband scented this andconfronted me. I confessed but regreted it. That same night he slept with a random woman (a low class 28yr old with two other children from two different men) and she got pregnant. Ashamed, he told me right away. He begged for forgiveness and I moved back to the west coast to find out he began to reject me because he fears the drama that this woman will cause us and hs threatend him
2006-07-25 14:51:08 · 10 answers · asked by qbanichi25 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Grow up. You get what you reap. So does he for that matter.
2006-07-25 15:13:51 · answer #1 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is time to move on with your life. There is nothing you can do to change the situation that has happened and if you are asking the question then you probably all ready know the answer. Try and detach your self from the situation, look at where you are, will be in 5yrs as the situation now appears, 10 years of where you want to be. Think with your head and not your heart this way you will be able to see the situation clearly. The child is his and he will have it in his life for the rest of it untill that child is 21 and longer if he chooses to go to get a higher education. Do you want the responsibility of someone elses child. Will you give up your career for this child and if necessary stay at home and take care of it while the father is at work making sure there is food and clothing on the back of the child. Think clearly, and long before you make a decision that will affect your life and change it.
You followed your dream to become a professional, now are you suppose to give it up because your man had a child by another woman. If he resented you then, he will not change and now the child is in the space. He will always blame you for doing what he did even though it was out of revenge. Before you do any thing think about it clearly just to make sure there will be no regrets on your part. My advice move on, but the choice is yours. Good Luck.
2006-07-25 15:10:57 · answer #2 · answered by twentyeight7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds to me like this relationship has been built off of rather rash decisions. not to sound offensive, but you really need to think this one through with all of the best intentions in mind. nobody can make the perfect plan to fall in love, break up, or get back together. but what i think is that two people that make a conscious decision to hurt each other are definitely not working towards the same goals. professinal help would be wise to consider if you intend to reunite. you must make certain that the two of you intend to be true.
2006-07-25 15:10:30 · answer #3 · answered by ar15scorpio 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a tough one, im not trying to judge you but it seems if you truly loved him and he you, the two of you would have found a way so the two of you could live together so things would have never gotten to this extreme, but if you wanna go back make sure you dont lose any sleep over it and its what you really want to do, and not because you feel guilty,obligated, or lonely!
2006-07-25 15:01:02 · answer #4 · answered by brittneysvg 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, i do no longer think of that the third party is only as accountable - accountable confident, yet to a lesser quantity. The married companion would desire to have been open to the potential for looking someplace else, or the cheating would under no circumstances have began, so the familiar guilt is theirs. they are people who took the vows, they are people who choose to interrupt them - and it is mostly a decision. Their companion does not "stress" them to cheat, they choose to. they are those unwilling to enable circulate of what they have in the previous looking someplace else. and various of alternative a married individual will spin such lines to their different companion, telling them how their marriage is over, (yet for the youngsters, the funds, the residing house or despite). they'll say that their companion ignores their "needs". that they are the "victims" of their marriage. that they are no longer intimate with their companions. despite lie they sense provides them "permission" to look someplace else. in many cases they'll willingly misinform their new companions into believing that they do no longer look to be interfering with a valid marriage, that they (the married ones) are certainly attempting to end it. that they are going to be at the same time while the marriage is over, yet that they love them lots that they'd't wait until they are loose. So from time to time they are as lots a sufferer of the cheaters lies as their married companion. So each now and then I do sense some sympathy for the different individual, because of fact they too get harm. confident, they'd desire to understand greater helpful. And only on your recommendations, I certainly have under no circumstances been "the different female" (married for years, and punctiliously committed) yet have seen how a married guy spins his information superhighway of lies to get what he needs.
2016-12-10 15:42:35 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sounds like you are able to get over him easy enough! You did it before .So I would just move back to Miami and end it.
2006-07-25 15:14:45 · answer #6 · answered by jessy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all have to live with choices we make, the good & the bad.You must understand when you two got married.your dreams changed. You have a husband to share your dreams with. If you love one another you two can work things out.
Remember my saying:
DON'T LET YOUR PAST DESTROY YOUR FUTURE.
Good luck
2006-07-25 15:46:56 · answer #7 · answered by Henry T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on, he sounds like trouble, with al ot of baggage now. he should have been responsible and used a condom if he still wanted to be with you.
2006-07-25 15:24:58 · answer #8 · answered by sweetie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
But let me ask you this, Do you really love him or was it that you got used to his presence? I dont think that you really do love him. Because if you really did love him, you would have never cheated on him. But if you think that you really do love him then try to get him back. Try to make it work. Dont let a ****** ***** what you had.
2006-07-25 15:13:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
whats good for the goose is good for the gander you started this so suck it up and live with it are live without it
2006-07-25 15:13:16 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋