Can someone please tell me if they know someone who drank heavily during pregnancy?

Question

My daughter is 6 months old. My cousin is app. 10 weeks pregnant. I am very aware of the sacrifices that must be made during pregnancy. She does drink at least one drink a day and a times does get drunk, (she drank a whole bottle of wine the other night). She also smokes pot and cigarettes. I know for sure that she liked to use presription narcotics for recreational use before pregnancy. I am a nurse so in turn very aware of the medical problems associated with this, but want to here from people who know about this situation first hand. Please let me know the outcomes.

Answer 1

My best friend is raising her grandson who's mother sounds very much like your cousin. The long term effects of this kind of behavior have been devastating to not only this sweet child but to the entire family. This syndrome caused by the use of alcohol causes so many physical and behavioral problems that he will never be able to live on his own. Please do some kind of intervention for your cousin, the damage may already be done but everyday she is clean and sober gives this baby a better chance. Good Luck I know this is a touchy subject but can you live with yourself if you do nothing?

Answer 2

I know someone whose ex-wife drank ~3 drinks per day pretty much throughout and their son has an IQ of 70, mild retardation due to Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. He has to ride the short bus due to district cutoffs for minimum IQ. That is high functioning for FAS. (The dad is a very intelligent former air force pilot and the other kid (no alcoholism then) is bright.

One drink a day was not unusual in "olden days," nor was smoking a little. Some kids come out seemingly normal, but their brains are permanently altered by this (they have higher tolerances for these substances, which can lead to greater use, perpetuating a cycle from an early age). Plus there is more pollution and environmental chemicals that also affect the nervous system, so kids don't need extra toxins.

I also have a relative who smoked cigs and pot throughout 3 preg's and has 2 healthy kids and had one stillborn which docs attributed to smoking based on signs.

Getting drunk even a few times from this point forward in pregnancy can produce some degree of FAS. It is impossible to predict for a given fetus if this will happen. Smoking greatly increases the risk of miscarriage, low birth weight, poor development. The brain and nervous system are already formed, and everything she does is having a permanent effect to some degree. As a nurse you must have fetal development books, resources, or can find these easily online. Throw these things in her face as clearly she is a selfish idiot who deserves to be treated like a child.

Answer 3

I had a boyfriend years ago that was born of a mother who drank and smoked during the pregnancy. He was left at the hospital and put in foster care for two years. He then was adopted and raised by other people. He grew up and became an avid drinker. He seemed to have a lot of depression and could not think things through. He had great qualities, unfortunately he would consistently regress and not learn/ mature or fully develop mentally. I know his adopted mother and she says his behavior never changed.

Answer 4

I have a friend who used to drink and smoke occasionally while pregnant. her kids seem fine, just that the girl was born with a stain on her little face (like a big mole). I don’t know if it’s from smoking. However sometimes worse the effects could show up later. It is sad that some women try desperately to get pregnant and would do whatever for a healthy baby, and some other are so irresponsible.

Answer 5

My little cousin is about 4 years old. His birth-mother drank and smoked who knows what while pregnant. He is the most hyperactive kid we've ever seen. Maybe he would have been hyper anyway, but not this bad. He picks locks, escapes from the house and runs down the street. He runs everywhere, obeys no one, listens to no one, distroys everything and can't seem to understand right from wrong. He says wierd and scary things like, "I'll stick a fork in your baby's eyes and watch it bleed" .
And his adoptive mom and dad have raised bunches of kids (biological and adopted) before him, all happy and disaplined. Sometimes I see a sweet boy in him that wants to please his very patient, and very tired mom, and I wonder what he would be like if his birth-mom hadn't drank or used drugs. Then again, I also wonder what his life would be like if he had been raised by his birth mom. yikes.

Answer 6

my sister is a teacher for the deaf in a community where drinking during pregnancy is relatively common. She works in a regular school, as an extra teacher, because every class has at least one hearing-impaired kid. Behavioural problems in the kids are a big issue too, but that would be as much about social conditions as due to damage in the womb.

look up internet info on deafness and drinking mothers...

Answer 7

Your cousin sounds exactly like my niece. Her daughter was born with fetal alcohol syndrome. She has birth defects such as club feet which she had surgery on when she was only 3 years old. Her teeth begin to rot as soon as they come in, she has had mouth surgeries. And, she has a hearing problem which caused her to begin speaking very late and has a speach problem now and has to go to speach therepy. This all minor things compared to what should could have developed. But, I don't think it is fair for any child to go through all this so young. One last thing, my niece continued to drink and do drugs after the baby was born and no longer has custody of her daughter. I keep in touch with her daughter by keeping in touch with the foster mother. You don't want to have to do that. Do all that you can to get your cousin to stop her foolish ways, she will regret it later when it''s to late.

Answer 8

While I know that these behaviors do make your baby a lot more likely to have problems, I don't think it's definite. I do know someone who was drunk EVERY night & smoking heavily. Her son is now five & he seems to be developing just fine. But I would still do whatever you can to stop her.

Answer 9

ive known heaps that still get drunk and smoke pot while pregnet, and although theyve been lucky and had healthy kids the question is "would u risk it?" if ur child was born with a defect ud never forgive urself, so why risk it? having a healthy child is so rare these days, why create an additional risk

Answer 10

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is probably the most common occurence, with brain damage. With the drugs, the neurons in the baby's brain may not function normally, so again - possible brain damage. Hopefully, you have talked at length to your cousin - both because you are family, and because you are a nurse. I have taught people with FAS and it is scary - both their behaviours and how they cannot learn.