Some new revisions
To Those Whose Works I Love
I find myself uncertain
of all my thoughts expressed
I will strong words from my pen
but will end up with a mess
A fiend of green I am for those
whose works stand high above
I dream of skills even close
to those whose works I love
So, again and again, I marry my pen
to those papers- plain and bare
I write, erase, and continue to chase
those works beyond compare.
2006-07-25 12:49:15 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Education & Reference ➔ Words & Wordplay
Very good, I like the way you use expressions in an unusual manner, such as 'will my pen' as though you can bend the pen to your bidding and the pen will create for you, also 'marry my pen..'creating a union between the pen and the paper, nice concepts.
I think you have created a poem as worthy as any I have known, I think your efforts, expressions true, have made a poet out of you. May your uncertainty be washed away, may you write more poems in this way. You think condoningly to compare, well don't, because you have a talent there. Nurture it and feed right, then publication may be your right.
2006-07-25 21:09:40 · answer #1 · answered by swanlen 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You try to hard. Never as good as the original.
2006-07-25 19:53:55 · answer #2 · answered by Crossroads Keeper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its Good.
Better than the original...
2006-07-25 20:33:45 · answer #3 · answered by ••Mott•• 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice! Good rhythm. I like it.
2006-07-25 19:54:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋