My boyfriend is real hot, 5'-9'' nicely built, and is puerto rican. I meet him in a strip club for ladies(he was a stripper there). As far as I'm concerned he has not cheated on me. He's a good person, hard working, very dedicated to his school and job. He does everything to make me happy, but I'm scared that this is to good to last. I don't trust him leaving the house without me, if he does I get these thoughts that he might be out there with other girls so I call his cell phone every 5 minutes. He could be at his mothers house and i'll still think he's screwing around. He told me he can't take my jealousy any longer and that hislove for me is dying. I try to change but i find it impossible. I don't want to loose such a great guy please help me
2006-07-25 12:38:25 · 9 answers · asked by cassandra o 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I think you first and foremost need to work on your own self. Whether this man is in your life or not, you sound very insecure, and perhaps afraid to be alone. Nothing scares a guy off faster than a clingy girl. You need to do things that will boost your own value and worth from your own point of view. I suggest you join a therapy group with other young adults, or else see an individual counselor. You see, if you don't nip this in the bud now, you are going to scare alot of these men off, until eventually, there will be no more. You owe it to yourself at this point in your life to know for sure, that you will be ok with or without this man in your life. Once you believe in you, you will be able to believe in the men and women you have chosen to trust in your life. good luck! (ps - you recognize there's a problem, and that's a very good start! you're on your way!)
2006-07-25 13:10:26 · answer #1 · answered by amuse4you 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have almost the same problem as you. My boyfriend lives 4 hours away and although he loves only me and no one else, at times I wonder what he's doing and if he's with other girls (which I know he would never do). He told me once that if I wasn't going to trust him that this relationship would never work. You need to trust your man! A relationship without trust, is no relationship at all. If you don't start to trust him, he could leave you because he could think that no matter where he goes or what he does, you'll constantly be calling and wondering if he's going behind your back. If he's a good man and he loves you he wouldn't do anything to hurt you. If you notice that he's strarting to do things that worry you like leave to go somewhere but he won't say where he's going or things like that, then you need to be worried. But if he isn't doing anything, then don't worry! He'll feel happier knowing that you trust him as much as he trusts you.
Good luck!
Verity
2006-07-25 12:47:31 · answer #2 · answered by Verity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to stop if you want this to work. I am exactly the same way, it's because you are insecure and you wonder why he wouldn't want to find someone better than you. What you need to do is focus on your self-esteem. And as for trust, you probably never will fully trust him if you have this many issues with it. Is he still a stripper? If so, that;s a good reaon to be a little untrusting. I would guess that you issues with men, going back to childhood. E-mail me, I will talk to you.
2006-07-25 12:44:50 · answer #3 · answered by Good Gushy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I also dated a guy who was popular with the ladies...didn't work out because I found strong evidence that he was cheating on me, but I'm not saying that's true in all cases. Nothing is worth living in constant suspicion like this though. I suggest hiring someone to spy on him. If nothing turns up, then great -- get over the jealousy issue and enjoy your relationship. If the evidence against him is too strong though, then I suggest hiring someone to whack him with a b-ball bat.
2006-07-25 12:44:28 · answer #4 · answered by NA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sassy Says...Obsess much? Chill what are you gonna do anyways if he does cheat on you? Do you really think he will tell you? IF he wants to cheat he will cheat, it doesnt matter how obsessive you are....Getting into a relationship the way you did can cause insecurities..but that is the chance that you took so I really do not feel sorry for you...Get some professional help or get out of that relationship...If you are not happy why bother?
2006-07-25 12:43:43 · answer #5 · answered by Free & Sassy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships are built on trust. Either you learn to trust him or your relationship will end. But if your instinct/heart is telling you that something isn't right then check it out.
2006-07-25 12:41:06 · answer #6 · answered by Krissy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah you are. since when do you come in here? whats up with all the other personal stuff about me you put out there? that was bogus as hell. I don't even do that, I'll talk to you later
2006-07-25 12:49:23 · answer #7 · answered by R30695 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go get some help. this relationship is not healthy with you acting this way.
2006-07-25 12:44:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've already lost him, and don't even know it. Sad.
2006-07-25 12:42:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋