My husband(and this kinda goes with the other question I asked) will NOT have sex with me more than once a week and when he does he will not do oral. I have no problem at all performing oral on him but I cannot seem to get him to do it on me. In a year I can count on one hand how many times he has done that for me. When we have sex it may last 5-10 minutes(without foreplay). At first it was his meds but then we got that changed and it improved for about a week. He uses the excuse of being too old. Is something wrong here??? I have tried to encourage it(sex) more but no success.I love him dearly and am not like any of his other wives who cheated. Any suggestions??
2006-07-25 12:30:18 · 10 answers · asked by bilady_n_ga2000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is 45 and when we first got together it was atleast once a night.Then it dropped to only being once a week if I'm lucky. There is a big age difference here since I am 28 but I know we both love one another. This is really the only problem we are having.We dont even have it more than one time when we do have sex together....you can forget a round 2.
2006-07-25 12:45:05 · update #1
Well your problem could be explained by many different things. As far as the oral part, maybe ( and i am not trying to be rude) you are not maintained in a way that suites him. For example, maybe he likes it shaved all the way maybe he likes a big bush, ect. Or maybe there is something wrong with you that is making it smell, and because he loves you he doesnt want to hurt your feelings. The first thing i would do is tlak to him about that. Make sure that there is nothing with you that makes him not want to perform oral. Now if not then maybe he cant do it well and doesnt feel like he can satisfy you so he assumes he might as well not try. Or maybe he just doesnt like doing it in which case i believe that if he loves you and that is something you really want he should make that sacifice to make you happy. Now I dont know how long you have been married but i know that it is easy for people to become bored with their partner after awhile. Things become monotonous, so i would try bringing something new to the table. Experiment with things you havent tried. If that is too hard to do then I would bring a sexual therapist in to help. The best thing to od is communicate. There is something that is holding him back and you two just need to be open and honest with each other to figure out what that is.
2006-07-25 12:42:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anthony L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He obviously has a low sex drive and perhaps should discuss it further with his dr. No wonder his ex wives cheated, sex is a pretty big thing to give up if its something you want. You didn't say how old he is but I'm not sure that too old is a good excuse at all. Has he always been like this or has it changed? Some people just don't like certain things and if he doesn't you probably can't change that, but not wanting sex at all is something I've not really run in to.
2006-07-25 12:40:47 · answer #2 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may just be that he doesn't need as much sex as (I'm sure) he used to 20 years ago. Re. oral - I don't think it's a common thing, but there *are* dudes who just don't enjoy giving it, no matter what. Usually if a guy doesn't mind it, but would rather see you change something (shave, etc), he will suggest it. That he simply won't do it makes me guess that he for whatever reason finds it distasteful in general. Have you asked him?
It's up to you how you handle it... I wouldn't push it if I found out he didn't like it. I think, it might make him resentful.
Aside from that, there are ways to make your sex life more interesting, try talking to him and finding common ground.
2006-07-25 13:01:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
either you gotta sit your man down and tell him exactly how you feel and pray that it changes or you gotta find that pleasure zone for yourself (masturbate)! cheating isn't an option for you which I'm very supportive of but you can't make him do what he won't do. maybe he doesn't know how badly this bothers you or he don't care. ask him if he has issues with oral sex and more than once a week before you go blasting on him. if that don't work and he just don't want to engage, masturbation is the next best thing,
2006-07-25 12:39:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How many times has he been married {"ex wives"}?.... maybe his poor sex drive is the reasons why his ex wives cheated on him...he sounds selfish to me he can at least attempt to satisfy you...if his penis doesn't work fine but I know his tongue does...I don't know why women are so quick to give a man oral sex I would feel used if I was giving a man oral sex and he was not returning the favor....Stop giving oral sex to his selfish butt...
2006-07-25 12:49:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
is he circumsized?..the reason i ask is because i am,& for me to last any length of time,i have to train my mind to be occupied with something else ,because circumsized men are so sensitive around the glan's that it isalmost impossible to keep from losing it when the friction start's up,now,on oral,i myself love going south on a woman,but i prefer there not to be an overabundance of body hair, preferably shaved or waxed,& remember always to let him know that it is a big turn on by your'e moaning & groaning,cause if a man care's enough to do this,,he want's to know if he is doing it right...also,odor play's into the act too,make absolutely sure there's no odor.
2006-07-25 13:22:59 · answer #6 · answered by james k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your decision is:
Is love sex?
Sure it is, to a degree!
What degree?
He, the older guy, says "a little."
You, the younger hottie says "more, more, more."
Is it not obvious YOU should expect less and HE should give a little more.
Meet in the middle.
2006-07-25 13:09:16 · answer #7 · answered by Uncle Thesis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sex is important but not that important in a marriage. maybe hes tired of having the same, maybe he wants stray, i wouldnt give him oral if he wouldnt do it to me.
2006-07-25 12:34:31 · answer #8 · answered by ~*Jenny*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats why his other wives cheated
2006-07-25 12:36:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two words...smell, taste.
2006-07-25 12:34:19 · answer #10 · answered by Handsup 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋