Tell me world, how do you care for a broken heart?
When the one you love has torn your heart apart?
She was the love of my life, she made my heart sing,
with her, it felt like I could accomplish anything.
We did everything together, shared our laughs and even cried.
We were inseparable, the dynamic duo, side by side.
It felt like everything was right, and nothing could go wrong,
like life was a great place, and played a beautiful song.
just looking at her put a huge smile on my face,
she was a good person with style, beauty, and grace.
I loved her, she was my favorite girl,
I wanted to give her everything, diamonds and pearls.
Who knew that something so good could go so wrong,
The relationship was near an end, and brought something scary along.
She told me she was seeing another guy and she didn't want to see me anymore,
it was like she grabbed my heart and threw it on the floor.
She never knew how much pain she made me feel,
Love hurts, and that’s what I know is for real.
It's okay 'cause I know life goes on and I know I'll live,
but why did she have to be so intensive?
So tell me world, how do you care for a broken heart?
When the one you love has torn your heart apart?
2006-07-25 12:17:50 · 10 answers · asked by ? 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
WHOA! THAT'S SERIOUSLY GOOD! SERIOUSLY!
2006-07-25 12:34:19 · answer #1 · answered by Sophie S. 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not denying that your feelings are real but you haven't expressed yourself in a new and refreshing way. Avoid cliches. Get rid of the rhymes. Think of something original to say about how you feel -- reach down deep in your soul and bring it out.. don't worry about the form, the syllables and the punctuation. when you are done, look objectively at your poem and be self-critical. You went through great pain & suffering because your girlfriend left you, but you have a chance here to bring it to an apotheiosis of your tragedy... to create Art.
2006-07-25 19:28:01 · answer #2 · answered by ♪ ♫ ☮ NYbron ☮ ♪ ♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Someone must have broken your heart pretty badly. Anyway, nice poem and it must be from the heart. Cheer up you're fine someone else. But, if this was your first love, it will take a long time.
2006-07-25 19:24:47 · answer #3 · answered by Zeta 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, it's okay... but if you wanna put it over the top, you should make the third verse rhyme with the first and the second with the fourth... you might also want to look into writing in quatrains instead! they're easier to organize!
2006-07-25 19:38:27 · answer #4 · answered by greaterrome 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense, but it has no real substance. Sounds like every other bad high-school-written love poem out there.
2006-07-25 19:22:46 · answer #5 · answered by Jylsamynne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very nice! I like poems that rhyme!
2006-07-25 19:22:24 · answer #6 · answered by kate2666 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you tried, you could squeeze one or two more cliches in there.
2006-07-25 19:19:51 · answer #7 · answered by MOM KNOWS EVERYTHING 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sniff, sniff
Very nice.
2006-07-25 19:20:49 · answer #8 · answered by the b*tch y'all love to hate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its alright
2006-07-25 19:21:38 · answer #9 · answered by overcomehate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay...... your gay
2006-07-25 19:19:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋