ive been talking to this gay women for aout a month and shes moving to fast for me she told me she loves me and i love her but not the sexual way because i dont think im gay but in still very confused and i dont want to hurt her.but i know if i tell her she would be hurt and i dont want that.how should i approach this situatoin.
2006-07-25 11:35:42 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I know this is not an easy situation, but I think you should definately let her know how you feel. You do care about her very much, just maybe not in that way! But you should definately say something sooner rather than later! I'm sure she'd rather you be honest & sincere with her than to lead her on unintentionally b/c you didn't know how to tell her for so long! I'm sure she's a good friend & will understand &acceptyoufor how you are, just as you're willing to accept her! I'm really sorry I couldn't offer more help! Good Luck!
2006-07-25 11:47:07 · answer #1 · answered by Brn_Eyed_Beauty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To thy own self be true . You can't be responsible for someone else and their needs . She will be hurt a lot worse if you continue to talk to her and she thinks she has a chance with you only to find out much later that she doesn't . There is no easy way to let someone down so just tell her that you can't offer her the type of relationship she is looking for and you value her as a friend and you do love her as a friend , but you are not gay . The direct kind approach is always the best . Good luck
2006-07-25 19:34:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is moving very fast then she is obviously very needy. If she doesn't realize that you are not ready or might not even want to be involved with her then she is too selfish to be a good partner in any respect. I would forget her [and let her know in a kind way]. Beyond this, explore why you are confused about your sexuality. I personally do not think that homosexuality is a natural course for man but that it comes about from psychological reasons that distort the mind. Although in the end we might not agree on the morality of everything involved in this, I hope you take the time to learn who you are.
2006-07-25 18:42:28 · answer #3 · answered by tothebeans 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty, honesty, honesty. It might be rough, but at least then everyone is clear.
Tell her that you don't think you're gay, that you love her, as a friend. Tell her that she needs to give you time and space. It would be so much better to tell her these things than to lead her on, making her believe that there was a future with you.
If you are honest with her, you can always say she knew what was going on, and if she pursues you anyway.....it's not your fault. As long as you are honest.
As mom always used to say, an ugly truth is better than a pretty lie any day.
2006-07-25 18:49:03 · answer #4 · answered by Autumn BrighTree 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really have more power in this situation than you think.
You can totally cut her out of your life by not answering her calls or meeting her. If she asks why, tell her that you are feeling pressured to do something you don't want to do.
If you enjoy her company but don't want to have a sexual relationship, be honest and tell her. Tell her that you enjoy her company but want a strictly plutonic relationship.
It doesn't matter if you are a homosexual or a heterosexual, no one can force you into a sexual relationship...unless they molest you.
If she is hurt by your honesty, that truly is her problem and would be further proof to you that she had a different agenda.
You don't say your age, but there is no rush in deciding your sexual path.
2006-07-25 18:46:44 · answer #5 · answered by Chainsawmom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a really tough one but the best is to be honest. just be gentle about it. Tell her you're not sure of your feelings when it comes to gay relationships and although you love her as a friend you just don't have the same emotional love for her that she has for you and you still want to be friends.
2006-07-25 18:38:39 · answer #6 · answered by pohter1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"i dont think im gay but in still very confused and i dont want to hurt her"
Repeat that to her. That's basically the best thing you can do. She should understand that you are confused, being that she probably was at one time too.
2006-07-25 18:50:28 · answer #7 · answered by Frodo the space bard 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you a minor and she's not? Then back away totally.
If you are both adults, then tell her just what you said here - she is moving too fast and you aren't ready. Some people are sexual piranhas and will take anything they can catch just to leave it bleeding.
A word to the wise is sufficient.
2006-07-25 18:40:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her the truth. That you enjoy her company but you don't think you are gay.
2006-07-25 18:53:26 · answer #9 · answered by acholtz@verizon.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her the truth..It's easier to get it out in the beginning..It'll hurt more the longer you drag it out..
2006-07-25 18:50:23 · answer #10 · answered by missy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋