Is it wrong to be bicurious and not tell hubby?

Question

I have been bicurious for several years but never acted on it. Now I want to try it. I'm afraid to say anything to hubby b/c he has been cheated on so many times and I'm scared it will cause problems if he finds out. What should I do?? Our sex life is not that good.We have been married almost a year now and only have sex maybe once or twice every week or so. PLZ HELP

OK apparently a few arent really reading what I typed....I am NOT the one who cheated on him before. He has been married 3 times before and they are the ones who cheated! Would it be considered cheating if I do act of this with another woman w/o telling him?

Answer 1

once a cheater, always a cheater. you have cheated on him before and want to continue. I believe you should tell him this time though, AND BEFORE ACTING ON IT. because who knows.... IT MAY BE HIS FANTASY. Good luck to you

Answer 2

ONLY YOU CAN ANSWER THAT QUESTION. SEX ONCE OR TWICE A WEEK? I'LL TAKE IT IF HE DON'T WANT IT. BUT I SAY, TELL HIM "AFTER" YOU'VE TRIED THE FAIRER SEX. AND ONLY IF YOU WANT MORE OF IT. IF IT WASN'T GOOD FOR YOU, THEN SAY NOTHING FOREVER. IF YOU DID LIKE IT AND WANT MORE, TRY THIS (HOW I WOULD WANT TO BE TOLD).... (FILL IN THE BLANKS, MAKE SOMETHING UP BUT HAVE IT READY IN DETAIL BEFORE APPLYING THE STORY). WHILE WATCHING TV, JUST REACH OVER AND START FONDLING HIS MEMBER. AS HIS TENSION RISES, CASUALLY MENTION THAT A GIRL YOU MET IN THE STREET OR GROCERY OR WHERE-EVER ASKED YOU TO GO HANG OUT AND THEN UPON SAYING GOODBYE SUDDENLY PLANTED A BIG KISS FULL ON THE MOUTH. THEN SAY THAT SHE SAW YOUR WEDDING RING AND SUGGESTED A THREEWAY WITH YOU AND YOUR HUBBY.TELL HIM YOU were so turned on by the thought of him doing her yet you DECLINED THE OFFER but she was quite insistant AND SINCE SHE NOW KNOWS WHERE YOU WORK, WILL CONTACT YOU TO FIND OUT IF YOUR HUBBY OK'D IT. ask him what he thinks but quickly mention "it might be alot of fun".HE'LL BE VERY INQUISITIVE BUT BETWEEN YOUR GROPING HIM AND HIS THOUGHTS OF HAVING TWO WOMEN AT ONCE, HE'LL BE way MORE RECEPTIVE. always remember, a stiff C@#K has no conscience. reassure him he's the one and only but this really makes you hot. make it sound good though. he knows these situations are few and far between. do your homework. AND DON"T BE NERVOUS!!!!!tell him you've thought about it on occasion but would only consider it if he agreed. oh, he's gonna go for it, trust me!!! then set it up and follow thru. you'll never lose this guy unless you want too..

Answer 3

It is okay to be curious and not tell your husband but you are playing a whole other ball game when you want to act on it. If you act on it and don't tell him then that is cheating.....plain and simple. If you want to have a three some then beware I had a friend bring a women home to her man and her man left her for the other women. I think that sex twice a week in marriage is a pretty good amount. If your husband isn't good in bed then you take charge in the bed room, teach him new tricks and moves. There is always room for improvement. GOOD LUCK SWEETIE

Answer 4

Absolutely having sex with another woman without his knowlege and permission would be cheating. And if he's been cheated on before, odds are he's going to be very sensitive to it.

But if you discuss it with him before hand, there's quite a good chance that he'll be OK with it. If nothing else, he'll probably be OK with you having a FFM 3-some with him and another woman -- then you just need to find a woman willing to do it. If you have his permission, and keep him reassured that you're not going to leave him (and don't), then it's not cheating -- it's just swinging.

So I'd say that it's essential you discuss this with him, _especially_ if he's been cheated on previously by other women. Prove to him that you're different.

Answer 5

I'm in your shoes too, except that my hubby knows! I NEVER said I was bi-curious. Instead, I breached the subject by asking him what he thought of the idea of being with two women at the same time. I asked him about his fantasies and what not. I gave him several different scenarios, (two women, multiple women, etc.) and we discussed HIS thoughts on these types of things. You do not have to say you are one thing or another in order to find out what HE thinks. Based on what you get from him, you can then determine your own coarse of action, to tell him or not. Good luck. Hope this helped. Need to talk or need advice or creative ideas, feel free to e-mail me.

Answer 6

Hmm.... have you forgotten the ideas of honesty? Sharing? Trust? Openness? How can you ever have any hope of true intimacy in your marriage without even sharing how you feel? What you think?
He may not understand. He may feel threatened. He may not. He may feel excited. He may be supportive. He may not. But he should at least know. Where you go from there is up to the two of you.

If he has fantasized about two women at once, do you think he'd be comfortable sharing those thoughts with you?

Answer 7

This is your decision, no one else's. Marriage counseling might help you.

Do NOT act on your curiosity. Keep your feelings and thoughts to yourself if you think that sharing them will hurt your husband.

A last thought: as your husband has a history of choosing untrustworthy women, don't add to his pain by becoming yet another betrayal. Adultery is not something that will enhance your marriage.

Answer 8

Wow....you definitely are in the right category.....Marriage and DIVORCE!!! I know a lot of guy would find that hot, and maybe would encourage that behavior, heck your husband might even like that. But in my opinion, that's still adultery. And if he isn't doing it for you in the bedroom then get him to work on it.......don't cheat on him behind his back! Poor guy......He sure must be an AWFUL judge of character!

Answer 9

"Only" once or twice a week?? Damn, that's more often than most married people I know. I don't know about telling your husband about the bi-curious thing... If he's not into experimenation, he may not understand. Try mentioning is half-jokingly somehow, and see how he takes it.

Answer 10

That's tuff...you have to think about it, do you want to take the chance of ruining your relationship with your husband, and then turn around and not even like being bi...or just being bi curious forever. Talk to him...tell him that your just curious...it's not like you've done n e thing...and ask him what he thinks. If your thinking about going out and getting a girl and messing around with her...that's not right to do to your husband, when you married him...you made a commitment...you should of experienced it b4 you got married. This probably will hurt him really bad. It's like saying "Oh I wonder what it would feel like being with another man"... Marring your husband means forever...if you love him i really think you should forget about being bi...or bi curious...but you should talk to him about it...tell him that your not planing on doing anything you just want to know what he thinks about you being bi curious...he's prolly gonna take it really hard...because that's just not something you hit up on your husband...