Give me a funny description of how badly your feet stink.?

Question

Get 2 points by making a creative description of how your feet stink. The best answer gets 10.


For example:
After a full day's work, my feet smell like hot trash!

Answer 1

When eating chocolate cake on a saturday of last friday i ran into a pool and slipped and my feet landed in a bowl of pudding and eggs and a monkey yelled "oh my gosh your feet stink!" :-)

Answer 2

It was a hot, sultry night in downtown Seattle. The air was moist and sticky like a wet towelette that had just been used to wipe up greasy hands following a Kentucky Fried Chicken dinner special. The nylons on my feet slowly melted into my skin, like the rubbery brown scum skin on the top of a small saucepan of milk left to boil fourteen and a half minutes too long. I looked at my feet and sighed, wondering if they would ever be able to breathe again. "Oh, for the love of Nike," I muttered. "Wearing nylons and high heels should be a federal offense. Man, what I wouldn't give to be walking barefoot on the grass right now, or standing in some cool mud puddle." Gingerly I climbed the cement stairs to my apartment, scraped up the lock with my key trying to open it in the light of a feeble yellow bug light, and flipped on the lightswitch inside. I kicked off the high heels and suddenly the room began to swim and sway. "What is that awful smell?" I mumbled, vaguely aware that it must be my feet causing the malodorous sensation. I stumbled from wall to wall, making a brave attempt not to leave those tell-tale-fingerprints-on-the-paint-that-you-have-to-use-Windex-on-five-times-running-two-weeks-later-cuz-grime-has-now-embedded-itself-into-the-greasy-remnants-of-putting-out-your-hands-to-steady-yourself-on-the-way-to-the-bathtub all over the off-ostrich-white paint. I throw open the bathroom door, roll down the nylons, and toss them into the sink. I turn the faucet on full blast and squirt in some hand soap. Then I climb into the bathtub, sit down on the edge, and turn on the faucet to wash off the putrescent odor still emanating from my tired feet. Too late! My head is still swimming from the odor that has already been torturing my nose for all of 58.3 seconds. Time to pull out the big guns. I stumble back out of the bathtub, almost slip on the linoleum tile, and trip over to the kitchen. I open the fridge and take out the sliced lime sections leftover from the fish tacos I ate last night and squirt the limes on my feet. Oww! Aww! Oww! Aww! Eek! Ack! I forgot about the two mosquito bites that I scratched a little too long this morning. Man, that stings! And now instead of smelling like putrid, hot, and sweaty nylons, my feet smell like nine-day-old fish tacos! I can't win! I give up and rummage in the vegetable crisper for a yellow onion, rifle through the utensil drawer and find a paring knife, and peel the onion without any cold water running. Then, through watery-eyed vision, I slice the onion and rub the onion slices all over my feet. At last! Victory! No more nylon smell! Now I just gotta figure out how to get rid of the onion smell...

Answer 3

A colleague of mine used his feet as a crowd control device in crowded picture halls. He would take off his shoes and people in adjacent rows would start moving out on various counts.

Answer 4

I just ran eight miles, and they smell like abcde lamb chops.
abcde= (Already Been Chewed, Digested, and Ejected)

Answer 5

Well...unfortunately my better half has described them as a pungent cocktail of vinegar and corn chips.....mmmmmmmmmmmm

Answer 6

my feet dont stink
:P