Do you think I should leave him?

Question

I am 38 yo, and have had only 2 long term relationships, one with my wife 10 years and now with my partner for 2 years, He is a great guy, enlightened , gentle, caring and intellegent and in love with me. I don't think that I am in love with him and sometimes feel that i am using him, just becasue he makes my life easier, more stable. I could stay with him forever, but i feel like I am missing somthing big, I think about leaving him every day. Do you think I should leave him.

Answer 1

Yes, I think you should be honest with your boyfriend sooner than later so he can get on with his life. Expect that your partner is going to be very hurt so there is no sense delaying this if you truly don't believe your differences can't be resolved.

My partner of almost eight years informed me within the last week that he has had "doubts" about our relationship for years. As you can imagine I am shocked, angry and heartbroken. To realize that you have been in a relationship with a man who has essentially used you for years is unbelievably painful.

This is the man I planned to spend the rest of my life with, we own a home, we spend time with our family and friends and I thought we had an amazing life.

My partners reasoning for wanting to move on is that "we don't have enough in common" I guess commitment means nothing, Personally I always enjoyed our differences, apparently he didn't.

As you can imagine when my partner told me my entire life shattered in front of me, I never even considered that we would not be together, To make matters worse he is already interested in another guy who ironically is having a relationship with a guy in a long term relationship.

Tell your boyfriend now, do not put him through the pain that I am going through. Your boyfriend sounds like a nice guy, he deserves to be happy and find someone who wants a stable, long-term relationship.

Answer 2

The grass always looks greener on the other side of the hill . You are feeling this way because you have not had a lot of experiences with other men or in other relationships . I gave up a wonderful and fantastic man once because I felt I could find something more . The truth of the matter is any relationship is what you make it , If you want to love someone then allow yourself to fall in love , open your heart and let him in . Stop looking for the better man and love the one you have you could do a lot worse .

Answer 3

You seem to be afraid of being alone. It's okay, most people are. I don't think your using him, like you said, it gives you stability. If you don't love him, and you doubt your relationship, you shouldn't play him. As a matter of fact, you shouldn't play yourself like that either. If you think about leaving him everyday, theres something obviously wrong. You should probably leave him.

Things will get better, you'll find someone new.. or that big thing in your life that's missing. Life is about taking risks.. Don't miss your chance by just wanting to stay safe. Best of luck. =)

Answer 4

Have you spoken to him about this? What is it that you feel that you are not getting from this relationship?

Before you up and leave, iot may be a good idea to either agree to take a break from the relationship for a while, or to seek couple's counseling. Like anything that is valuable, a relationship takes work to maintain.

Is it possible that the two of you are just stuck in a rut? What was it like when your relationship first started? Is it possible to do some of the things that you USED to do together to try to kickstart things?

Just things to thinks about...

Answer 5

No, do not leave him (He sounds like a great guy). I would suggest that you talk with someone. Talk with a Social worker or Psychologist who are supportive of the GLBT community and figure out what you may be feeling inside. You may also want your partner to come along and talk also (couples counseling). Do not make this decision by yourself. As a Christian I will be praying for you and your partner.

Answer 6

The grass always looks greener on the other side. You can leave him and maybe discover that some thing out there is reflecting on that grass making it look really green. You need to figure out what you think you are missing before you make the decision to leave.

Answer 7

First of all, to chance labeling myself a rank newbie within the eyes of any person so confident as Ian, I will say that this poem is already particularly forged, despite the fact that I do believe that the grammatical inversion you could have selected within the line 'But nonetheless she appears to remedy uncover' is unnecessarily abstruse; I for my part realize your motive precisely, however my grammatical feel is strangely subtle and I recognise you followed it to keep the exacting, metronomic cadence this poem has. However, it used to be needless. You would have stated as quite simply 'But remedy nonetheless she appears to uncover' and feature have shyed away from striking the direct item in a break up infinitive. Is what you probably did wrong gramatically? No, however via the equal token it's not finest .Now directly to the top of the poem, and the penultimate line: I believe it could greater serve your reason to interchange the interval finishing the antepenultimate line via a comma (making of the road a clause), after which exchanging 'that is' with 'what is' within the penultimate line. I trust you that you simply are not able to difference the final line to Ian's advice with out replacing the have an effect on of the whole poem, that is that Beth is attempting to uncover a few souvenir of the daddy she not ever knew. She will remedy not anything via crying; she's with ease curious. I grew up in a unmarried-dad or mum loved ones; my mom raised me, and my brother, with out him. He left her among the time of my notion and my delivery; I've not ever met him or talked to him. I have noticeable graphics and heard the experiences, however that is it. I can, as much as a factor, empathize with 'Beth.' It's no longer an social gathering for crying such a lot as one for wondering, "Who used to be he?" and "Who am I?" That being stated, the phrase 'frank' ought to be one you want to use to Beth's mom, who lives for the needs of the poem 'offstage', which serves to make Beth's questing extra solitary, extra heartbreaking. To the level that your method attracts the reader in the direction of her, it makes the phrase 'frank' appear unusual (individually). A knotty trouble you could have there Cassie! How will you remedy it. I do not intend to let you know 'the way you will have to' since our animated correspondence has confident me frequently of the zeal of your brain and you're going to uncover the way in which... your approach! Just do not take 'Beth' away to a few some distance put off within the procedure. All in all, a first-class poem however one you'll, via additional cautious suggestion, make much more targeted.

Answer 8

yes, because you're cheating him out of a loving relationship. he sounds like a wonderful man, i think you have unrealistic ideas of what love is, it's not the all-consuming soap opera crap you see on TV. you cant sustain that level indefinitely. it's looking at him sleeping and aching because you feel so much, it's holding hands at the movies, and laughing at his corny jokes, it's smiling every time you think of him, its passion, memories, kindness, comfort and warmth. if you don't feel that say goodbye.

Answer 9

I am not sure why you want to leave him, but that is your decision. Forget about what we are saying, we have no idea what you are going through. I wish you the best of luck on your decision.

Answer 10

Don't leave him until you have figured out what this 'big thing' is, that you are missing. When you find out what it is, go for it.