What to do and what to think?

Question

Husband said, I don't want you, I want a divorce then later on he'll say, you are my world and I love you. He always say this wanting to leave me and divorce me, do you think he does want to leave me. He goes to school, he works part-time so I'm the earner because I have full-time job. I quit my school(taking my BA) for him to go to school first and then when he's done, then it will be my turn. Sometimes I think that he's only staying with me until he finish up and thn when he's done in school, he will eventually will leave me. He told me that will never happen, but everytime we get into an argument, he always say, I want a divorce. I need advice, I will be left with nothing because he got to finish his school and I didn't.

Answer 1

MY WIFE TOLD ME 6 TIME WANT DIVORCE AND WE BEEN MARRIED FOR 8 MONTHS AND THE LAST THING SHE TOLD ME WANT DIVORCE I GAVE TO HER THE WISH AND WALK OUT AND END IT. SHE WANT ME BACK I TOLD HER NO YOU DIDN'T THINK THAT I WILL BE LEAVING YOU? WELL, YOU GOT WHAT YOU WISH FOR. AND DO THAT TO YOUR HUSBAND AND IF HE WANT YOU BACK NEED YOU BECASUE YOU HAVE FULL TIME JOB HE DON'T AND IF HE LEAVE HE HAVE NO WHERE TO BE LIVING AND MONEY.

NEXT TIME IF HE WANT DIVORCE JUST TELL HIM OHH DON'T WORRY I ALREADY TOOK CARE OF IT SO IT SHOULD BE READY BY 3 DAYS AND WHEN THAT HAPPEN YOU KNOW WHY WE GETTING DIVORCE BECASUE THAT WHAT YOU WANT. IF HE BEG AND BEG NO NO NO NO NO TELL HIM FINE YOU HAVE TO SHOW TO ME THAT YOU RESPECT ME AND THAT YOU WILL NEVER EVER USE DIVORCE AGAIN AND IF YOU DO AND I WILL MAKE SURE YOUR SORRY LITTLE A** OF YOURS WILL LAND IN COURT.

Answer 2

I don't know if there is anything else going on. In my case, my ex-husband did that. Except sometimes he would switch on me when he was drunk. I was the greatest thing in the world...then I was the biggest mistake he ever made a few minutes later. Other times, he was completely sober and asked me for a divorce. It's called MindF*c*i*g. I called his bluff one day, and he was sober, and he backed down. Eventually, I was down to 96lbs (a little too thin even for my tiny frame), and exhausted (we were together for 15 years and have one son). I made the decision to leave about 3 months after his last threat. I was waiting for another divorce threat, but only the mindscrewing continued. He is insecure, for some reason (yours...and mine was). Maybe because you are supporting him. He may actually go through with his demand for a divorce once he's done. Instead, try to be strong (I know it's SO hard), and take control of things yourself. A good support person would help (I had and have his old friend, lol!). Protect whatever assets you can, and stash money away, and prepare yourself to either leave when the next threat comes along (and do follow through) or for him to make that decision for you. I hate to be a downer, but it sounds SO familiar. My ex would get esp. threatening whenever a sum of money came in...hold it over my head, even though I have a good job, and he is a part-time musician and music teacher the other part of the time (my job is more stable and has benefits).

It's hard to make that decision to leave, but he is wearing you down. You need to take care of you. As my/his friend said "You need to focus on the solution, not the problem". Thank God for men like that! I did and it's still hard sometimes (I lost love for my ex many years ago), but it is worth it to be in control of your own life...not someone else in control of you. Take care.

Answer 3

It does sound like its possible the first fight after he graduates will be the last and he will leave for good, however, he knows the thought of that can get under you skin and that may be why he repeats that when ever you have an argument...If this really bothers you...next time he says such a statement tell him to leave or never say that again..enough is enough.

Answer 4

he's either mimicking what he grew up seeing, or he's gonna leave you when he's done with school....
did his parents fight this way... making threats and stuff, because if they did, it will explain it a little, that when they fought the tried to hurt each other, and he is just doing what he was taught.
but if that's not the case, then i would definitely be thinking he is gonna be off and running as soon as his degree is in hand....
you definitely need to evaluate this situation and make your own decision, don't leave it up to him. if you are sick of being treated like a doormat, and threatened with this all the time tell him, that if it doesn't stop you are out.... and if he keeps it up you need to leave.... if he loves you like he says, then he will make a concerted effort to stop, but if he doesn't and is just playing you he won't think you are serious, especially since he has done it alot already and you haven't done anything serious yet.

Answer 5

Next time he says he wants a divorce give it to him, act like you dont care anymore! he does this to make you feel crappy, been there done that. I learned my listen. He will eventually realize that you are being serious, and change its mind but if not then he does want a divorce and just wait for his degree and leave.

Answer 6

per your other questions - you have been married less than a year - haven't had sex for almost half that time & he's telling you he wants a divorce already! You guys have to get to counselling and quick or this isn't going to last much longer.

Answer 7

I agree, I think he's using you now. It seems you two really don't have that much going for you.
It may be time, to think of yourself and your own future. You have to much at stake, to risk it on him, whether he will help you after you have worked to put him through school.
I would trust your gut feelings, they are usually based on solid information, that you have built up, over the years.

Answer 8

Don't be stupid. Of course he's using you. And when he's done, he'll leave. Sheez... he's out and out told you so, then "recovered" because he realizes he needs to keep things nice until he's done with school, and you.