Is it Cheating?

Question

Me and My girlfriend have 2 kids and we were going through some rough times. We'll she had asked me to leave for her to have some space and split up for a while. Well I begged to come home and she just refused like no big deal. Well I was with 2 women while we were seperated.I know that was wrong i should have just waited and gave her the space she needed but it just happend and they hung out and I had someone to talk to and not be depressed about. We finally got back together but I feel like crap.I want my family back to normal but My mind is not right, I keep thinking of if she finds out or what if these girls go psycho and try to look for me. I know Im not perfect far from it, but what should I do. Is this normal to feel this way? And what about the other women how should I handle them?

Answer 1

if you have to hide it, then it's bad. tell her; at least you'll sleep easier at night.

that really is a tough question. i guess technically if you were split it wouldn't be cheating if it was a break from the relationship by her request. But at the same time, the relationship wasn't over so it could be.

Best thing to do would be to tell her. How can you justify something like that if it makes you feel guilty and you feel you have to hide it?


On the other hand, i hate to acknowledge this, but if your relationship's fine but you know telling her would shatter the relationship and your family (breakups are devastating to a family, so i must say this), let it lie (and NEVER do it again). It would be best not to do this, but if you have absolutely NO other option...

Answer 2

For the sake of your family, do NOT tell her. She can't just "need some space" and kick you out of your house and expect you to just wait around for her to make some kind of decision. And you aren't married, so I really don't see anything wrong with what you did.

However, even though she was the one who wanted you to leave for a while and wouldn't let you come back until she was ready, she would probably not like to hear that you were with other women. And I think in this instance, what she doesn't know won't hurt her. She would most likely be very upset by hearing the information, and you could possibly lose your family again. So, clear your mind. If this was typical behavior for you and you were planning to cheat on her, then it would be different. But if you are planning to keep your family together - don't tell her.

Answer 3

It seems that you got together without going through some counseling.

To me, this poses a greater danger than your cheating.

If you split up once, apparently there are some real and serious issues between you. If you don't address these underlying causes, the problems will keep coming up, and your relationship remains in danger.

As far as your immediate question, DO NOT TELL. Just because you feel like crap about it and your mind is not right, this is not her fault so don't make her feel like crap.

Get into therapy and work this out with the therapist.

Answer 4

Do NOT tell her. There's no need to hurt her or make wounds. You also don't know what she did when you were gone either.

Of course it's normal. Its' called guilt. Telling her would make you feel better but she'd feel like crap and you'd probably break up. If you want to break up or put an even bigger wedge between you in a fragile relationship then go ahead. Again, I'm sure she wasn't an angel either.

The other women just dont' be in situations where your alone. Be nice and cordial as always; just don't bonk them. Again, they were flings and need to never happen again and never brought up again.

Answer 5

First of all you did not cheat because, afterall, she refused to comeback to you when you asked her and you two were separated and there is nothing wrong with wanting company and wanting to be around someone. But you did have a conscious to think about her and her feelings and her wants, but if you tell her the truth on what happend it will make you feel better and she will know what happend but when you tell her give her the reason why you did what you did. But on the side pray to God that she will understand you and that things will get better because prayers always help! God Bless!

Answer 6

Wow, thats some tough sh*t. Obviously since your asking the question you know that it wasn't right that you did this. Since you have kids it would be a lot harder to actually tell her that you cheated because you know it could end up in a divorce. The best thing you could do is be honest, because you would want her to be also. I say talk to a counselor, try to make amends as much as possible before you tell her, and try to hope for the best. Remember, you didn't lose anything unless you dont learn your lesson.

Answer 7

Is best if you be honest about it. If she finds out from someone else she will be more disappointed because you didn't say anything.


Let her know exactly how you feel about it and tell her that they didn't mean anything to you. I wouldn't be able to tell you, but she might have had her adventures as well. And if that is the case she won't be so upset and tell you her side of the story.

And stay away from those *********.E.S they will keep coming back if you give them a reason to and your wife will be very upset to the point of no forgiveness.

good luck!!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

since you are not married i wouldn't call it cheating... i also wouldn't call it a family... why don't you marry her???
anyway, what U are feeling is guilt... and you should feel it, because if she had done the same you would be mad as hell.
anyway, my advice is
1. keep it to yourself, unless you think it will directly affect her...i.e. diseases and stuff, because the only person that it will help to tell is you.. she will feel like ****... so then it's like your f'ing her all over again.
2.get married already... i mean what kind of example is this for your kids... if you love each other what is the deal, do neither of you want to have some kind of legal commitment to each other so you can bail easier if you want to

oh and if you just have to tell her be honest, humble, and don't for a second blame it on her wanting some space

Answer 9

I'm sorry, but you started being a scoundrel when you slept with your girlfriend without marrying her first. Then you made bastards out of two innocent children. I imagine your "girlfriend" got tired of doing everything that a wife is supposed to do without having the promotion to "wife". I imagine she got tired of being an unpaid prostitute with two children.

If you're having sex with multiple women and you feel no responsibility, no sense of obligation , then you have no conscience and you are nothing but a male whore. I'm sorry if you are angered by that, but you're the one that's sleeping around---not me. If the shoe fits----you have to either wear it, or change your style.

Why would a woman want to continue living with someone who has absolutely no respect for her or your children? I hope she is wise enough to leave you alone completely and get her and those two children into an environment that will help her raise those children to live their lives exactly opposite of the way their parents lived theirs. I pray that she finds the right road that will lead her to respect, compassion, responsibility, and love.

Because she certainly will not find that with you.

Answer 10

well i can see how you might not want to tell her since she finaly let you come back, but you want her to be able to trust you too and that is hard since you were with other women. i would just tell her that you need to talk to her, tell her that when she kicked you out that you thought that she was not going to let you back and so you met other friends that you had a fling with , but that you regreted it, and that she was all that you could think about and you did not know what to do. tell her that you want her to know that you feel guilty for being with them other women and that you never would have done it if you thought that you still had a chance with her. ask for her forgiveness and go from there i guess, there is no easy way to do this so be honest, and straight out aboutwhat happened.