I have a friend I met not to long ago. We went out a couple a times. I had just gotten out of a realtionship when I decided to go out with this guy. I was with him that night and now I feel it was a huge mistake. I feel like I did it because I was hurt by my ex. Now he thinks i'm ignoring him but sometimes I feel thats the only way he will understand that i just want to be alone.
2006-07-25 10:05:45 · 15 answers · asked by been there 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You aren't being fair to yourself, or your friend. You need to tell him, exactly what you wrote in your question. Give him the facts, just don't ignore him. He hasn't done anything wrong, has he. He just met you at a bad time in your life.
Tell him the truth, so he at least, knows what is happening with you.
That way he and you can go back to living your own lives. He may understand what you are going through. Let's face it, we all have at one time or another, suffered the same loss as you.
You could still be friends, if that is something you both would like. Or just write it down to a big mistake and move on.
But do the right thing and tell him the truth, you both will be better off, for it.
2006-07-25 10:12:24 · answer #1 · answered by johnb693 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
so basicaly without realizing it you were on the rebound. ok so if you want space fine but you need to tell this person that you are ignoring why. or at least tell him the easy way. just say that before you met him you just got out of a seriouse relationship and that you thought that you were ready to date again, but that when you dated him it made you realize that you are not over the other relationship like you though that you were, and then tell him he is a nice guy but that you dont want to continue to dating him cause that would mean you are leading him on and you dont think you can date right now. tell him sorry that you didnt call him back right away but that you wanted to make sure that you said the right thing without hurting him. something simple like that. good luck.
2006-07-25 10:11:44 · answer #2 · answered by Blonds Rock 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not ignore him. Is that nice? Let's be honest here you used him because you just wanted some to make you feel better. The least you could do is explain what happened to him. You do not need to meet him somewhere or even call him to do this because I am guessing you do not want to do either. Why don't you email him because you cannot really explain much in a text. Let him know the reasons for your behaviors and let him know you need time to yourself. Don't just leave him hanging.
2006-07-25 10:14:32 · answer #3 · answered by strawberries 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unpleasant as it is, you need to tell him honestly. This happened to me right when I met my boyfriend. I was dating around and met this other guy who I've come to refer to now as Mr. Needy at the same time I met my boyfriend. After 2 dates, Mr. Needy really creeped me out (too clingy! Gross!) and I really liked my boyfriend so I decided to just see him instead. Of course, this left the unfun task of telling Mr. Needy I didn't want to see him anymore. Since we only went on 2 dates and didn't go beyond kissing, I felt a simple email explaining it would suffice. No more calls from Mr. Needy after that. It's no fun, but it's better than leading some poor guy on and feeling like you have to hide out to avoid him. Good luck!
2006-07-25 10:13:13 · answer #4 · answered by SuperJenn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you get into any type of relationship (short term or long) you create obligations on both sides.
You can not use a person and then discard him/her without hurting that person and generally acting shitty.
If you were comfortable enough with him to open up physically, the least you can do is open up a bit and explain the truth.
He may not get it, but at that point you've done your duty. Until then you owe him a bit of honesty.
2006-07-25 10:11:13 · answer #5 · answered by profdave99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
O i've been through this, just a few weeks ago actually. It's ok that you did this, but you have to be open and honest with this new guy and let him know that you're just not ready to be in a relationship with anyone right now. If he's really into you, then he'll not want to be 2nd rate and let you heal. Good luck Sweetie!
2006-07-25 10:10:21 · answer #6 · answered by cali_gal716 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldnt ignore him thats totally the wrong thing to do. you need to sit him down and talk to him about this. tell him whats going on and that maybe in a little while you and him could get together but right now you just want to relax and be alone to think about some things. just explain it to him and aplogize for ignoring him. i promise he should understand and if he doesnt he wasnt worth it anyways.
good luck
2006-07-25 10:10:46 · answer #7 · answered by krystal w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him the truth. Let him know that is was fun and you enjoyed it, but there cant be anything between you two because you dont want to hurt your ex. Dont ignore him, that makes you look bad because he is going to start thinking that you used him.
2006-07-25 10:10:45 · answer #8 · answered by Antoine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him the truth. Just say that you were hurting at the time and that you weren't thinking. Tell him that you do not want a relationship and that you just want to be left alone. Tell him that you are not ready to have a relationship, sexual or otherwise.
2006-07-25 10:10:24 · answer #9 · answered by BlueLantern 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think, you're misinterpreting your own feelings and motivations. It's possible that what you did wasn't a mistake, at all, but you don't yet really know how you feel about they guy- even though you feel different when with him, than when not. So don't be so quick to jump to conclusions nor to make a decsion about it, nor even about anything!
2006-07-25 10:09:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋