The love of my life finally came back into my life after not being around due to circumstances beyond our control...The parents don't know we are together again, he was introduced 4 yrs. ago, and they hated him. There were a lot of circumstances.....long story.
Anyways, he is a different person now than he was back then, and we adore each other. My parents aren't exactly known for forgetting the past, and i don't know how to tell them about our relationship, or the fact that we are talking about living together in a few months. How should I break it to them that we are in this relationship? I’ll give them time to get used to that before the other news break... I'll be 20 in two weeks, and I don’t live at home now, but with a relative…
2006-07-25 09:45:49 · 19 answers · asked by Whitney 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My parents are rather controlling, and I'm an only child so you can imagine....it sucks because I know I need to live my own life, but I for some reason need approval from them....I can't stand having tension between us. Thank God my boyfriend is incredibly supportive and willing to go the distance, and stick right by my side, and really give them a chance to get to know him again…. He’s willing to go through the bad to get to the good, and help me get through it….
I am just lost as to how to go about telling them! I afraid they are going to freak out and ultimately they are going to make me choose….. I love him so much, and know he is the one, but I love my parents too, they gave me life…… What should I do? Please help…..
2006-07-25 09:46:05 · update #1
He is already planning to talk to them on his own, after we break the news..... he is totally determined...he told me that he could handle themm never accepting him, but he knows how that would hurt me and ill do what it takes..... i mean come on ladies, doesn't that imply how wonderful he is!
2006-07-25 09:52:10 · update #2
I am an only child also, except I am 50 something now. There is nothing that you can do to make your parents see your boyfriend in a new light, he has to do that. It takes times to forgive and forget. The only reason they would have for disliking him would be their love and concern for you. If he is the man that you say that he is he will prove himself a changed person, or if you are blinded by love he will prove that your parents' first impression was correct. In any case sweetheart, your parents might get pissed, but they will never stop loving you. Trust me I know from experience. My parents use to hate the man who has been my husband now for 36 years. Before they passed away, they loved him like a son.
2006-07-25 09:54:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you still not on your own at 19/20?
Well, living together before you're married---as you well know---is wrong. So, the relationship will go down hill from there. If your parents don't like this guy anyway, and then he turns you into a supported prostitute, I doubt the tension will lessen.
Learn to live on your own honorably, with some integrity. Don't start going down the wrong road the first rattle out of the box.
2006-07-25 16:51:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Based on the picture you use here, I'm not sure you know what you want or that you are mature enough to know. Who knows?! Maybe in person you are very level-headed. But if you love your parents so much why are you living with another realative? I'm just saying I think there are at least 3 more sides to this story.
By the way, at nineteen, you're hardly a "grown woman". You may be legally an adult, but when you are in your late twenties you will know what I mean by this.
2006-07-25 16:54:10 · answer #3 · answered by Steph 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People do change, some for the better, some for the worst. If your relationship was far from good before, I would give it some time before moving in together and possibly holding off on telling your parents.
Part of life is standing for your beliefs and for yourself. God has a plan for all of us and it will be what it will be.
I
2006-07-25 17:02:39 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I'm in your exact position. I'm an only child, semi-controlling parents, but I'm 15. I'll get to see my boyfriend in 2 years and one month! We're sneaking around on the phone and email, its hard, I know. I figure as far as telling my parents one day, I just have to do it and they'll just have to accept it. They love me and they'll learn to love him again. It will probably take a while for the news to sink in for them, but the question is, what do they love more? You or controlling you? If you really think about it, its you. I doubt you'll have too much trouble telling them. I hope that answers the question.
2006-07-25 16:51:18 · answer #5 · answered by Kate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't be so fast to move in with him. I have serious doubts he's really the "different person" you think he is. And I'm sure you'll argue with me on that but trust me. People can put on a pretty good show when they want to, until they have you over a barrell, so to speak. I sure wouldn't choose him over my parents by moving in with him. Maybe just see or date him for a while and slowly reintroduce him to them. If he's really changed, they'll see that over time and slowly accept him. But don't rush into moving in with him. If he's that serious about you he won't go anywhere. He'll also be supportive of your decision. He won't make you choose between him and your parents. Just slow down, regroup, and make sure he has really changed before rushing into something you'll regret later. You can always move in with him later when the time is right.
2006-07-25 16:57:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just come right out and tell the truth. You don't sugar-coat it or anything. Then explain to them how he has changed and what makes you love him. I guarantee if your parents love you as much as I think they do, they will accept the relationship. If not, you will just have to decide what is most important to you - a relationship with a man or with your parents.
2006-07-25 16:49:40 · answer #7 · answered by The Nana of Nana's 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell them that he has changed and maybe it wouldn't hurt if your boyfriend spoke with your parents, sort of on his own behalf to show that he is serious about wanting to be in a relationship with you. You're an adult, and though you need to be respectful to your parents, they need to understand that you are going to make your own decisions. Just be upfront with them and tell them how he's changed, point out the good things about him.
2006-07-25 16:49:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're going to have to tell them no matter what, if they love you, they wont make you choose. You're 19! I think you're responsible enough to make your own choices and decisions! they cant baby you forever! Make sure you're boyfriend is really willing and ready to go through the bad with you, because it could screw the relationship up again.
2006-07-25 16:51:48 · answer #9 · answered by HotBarbie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them that you are in love with someone. Then tell them who it is. Go on to tell them he has changed, that he wants to meet them, and to give him a chance, and that you love them and do not want to lose their love, but you will not choose them over him in the end. Tell them that is final.
Remember to watch out for red flags also, not saying that he is still bad. Because if he has something that bothers you now(not necessarily about his past) it will bother you for the rest of your life. God bless
2006-07-25 16:54:26 · answer #10 · answered by Yankeegirlfromupnorth 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋