I have read that such men need to be handled indirectly rather than the direct, open and honest way. How can one be indirect. If its something he does thats annoying or unacceptable, rather than blurting it out, what and how should I bring it up to make him see sense.
2006-07-25 09:37:47 · 21 answers · asked by Aquarian gal 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If he's your husband, than it is your duty as his wife to be honest with him about things. You must deal directly, otherwise, it could be toxic to your marriage. He may be a little controlling, but that doesn't mean you can't be honest with him about things and your feelings. As long as you discuss things with him, you will be fine. I would maybe sit down with him and discuss how he would be most comfortable with you handling situations like that. Good luck!
2006-07-25 09:41:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got to learn how to set boundaries with this man, or he could make your life absolutely more miserable than you could imagine. Boundaries is a word they use in counseling. You can learn to set boundaries that work either by going to a counselor and letting him or her tutor you, or you could try reading books on the subject and then go to counseling if you need more teaching than that. It's not very complicated, but it can be difficult to set boundaries in a relationship, and you need someone in your life who will support you while you set these boundaries, someone you can trust to be wise, and on your side. Do you have a good female friend, or a wise aunt, or an older female mentor of any kind? You're going to need one, and you'll have to have a counselor if you don't have a female support person already. The state Mental Health agency can sometimes provide counseling for free, or provide good references.
A controlling husband is an abusing husband. It may not be as bad as the abuse that you see on tv, but you need to nip it in the bud or it can get that bad.
I know what I'm talkin' about, honey. Been there and done that.
2006-07-25 16:50:29 · answer #2 · answered by Nanette W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My X wife was like that she had to be in control and feel powerful. I did not really care so it did not bother me most of the time. I had a great business going and when she got to be too much I would go into the office to work. I just let my wife think she was the boss.
There are ways to be in control without acting like it. If his need for control is bothering you then you need to fix it. I suggest you read books on psychology and how to control a situation without being confrontational. If it is too bad or if you cannot figure it out through self study seek a counselor and go even if you do it alone for more professional advice.
2006-07-25 16:48:35 · answer #3 · answered by jeepfaust 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, let me ask if he was always like this? If he wasn't then sit down either with or without him and figure out what has changed, when it started to change, what happened to cause a change, and most important how are you going to get back to when he wasn't so driving. My personal suggestion would be to talk to your local pastor. On the other hand if he was like that when you met him, then one would assume that you prefer that type of treatment and you for one definitely need counseling. Here is still a good place to start is your local pastor or at least a christian lady friend that you have a lot of confidence in. Best of luck and I will pray for peace in your family. God bless you.
2006-07-25 17:21:39 · answer #4 · answered by wild daddy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't always go where he leads. Start doing somethings you want to do. He is trying to control you and you are letting him. Unless he is abusive I would just start doing what I thought worked for me. Do not be malicious and do things just to upset him. He will be upset enough when he doesn't get his way but if you are doing things that you feel are right for you then at least you can tell him why when he asks. Remember he doesn't have to agree with you but you also don't have to agree with him.
2006-07-25 16:51:59 · answer #5 · answered by Suesan W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he insists on you doing something a certian way do it your way instead and then show him how it was better. That is indirect. A lot of times with a driver you just have to go with him and try and stay out of his way.
2006-07-25 16:40:14 · answer #6 · answered by kill_dog1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trying to control your spouse is bs. Kick the bum to the curb and find a mate that want to be in a 50-50 relationship. Best of luck to you.
2006-07-25 16:41:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could you add on and give an example? Being in a controlling relationship will not work unless you want to be his child and not his wife.
2006-07-25 16:42:45 · answer #8 · answered by Latintweety 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not a car...each person in a marriage controls himself or herself....it's called being an adult in an adult relationship. Get your husband some counseling he's not a boy anymore.
2006-07-25 16:41:49 · answer #9 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to sit him down and tell him that u are worried about the way he is treating u and let him no u want him to stop.
u need to feel special and if he dont make u fee that way then u need to tell him that be straight with him. that is the only way to be
2006-07-25 16:45:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋