how do you ask your girlfriend for a prenup without making her mad?

Answer 1

I don't know if "mad" is the word. If she's a kind and understanding person, she'll probably be concerned with why you are asking for a prenup. You should be prepared to explain truthfully your purpose, fears, and what you're trying to protect or achieve with this prenup. If it boils down to "what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours", then you may not be emotionally ready for marriage.

Marriage should be an equal and equitable partnership, meaning all for one and one for all. Decisions should impact both parties equally. While it may sound logical to keep premarital assets separate and split marital assets 50/50 in the event of divorce, this formula is overly simplistic and does not consider the overall picture of both parties long term.

For example, Person 1 makes $100K and Person 2 makes $75K. Person 1 has $500K in assets, and Person 2 has $100K in assets before marriage. Person 1 is accustomed to a more expensive lifestyle than Person 2; thus, Person 1 only manages to save $10K annually while Person 2 saves $25K annually. Most likely after marriage, Person 2 must adopt and contribute to Person 1's lifestyle because it's easier than bringing Person 1's spending down. After marriage, they manage to save $40K per year. After 10 years, their marital savings account would be $400K. If they divorce, a 50/50 split would give each person $200K. Added to their separate premarital assets, Person 1 will have $700K, and Person 2 will have $300K. Had they not gotten married, Person 1 would have $600K [$500K + ($10K per year x 10 years)] while Person 2 would have $350K [$100K + ($25K per year x 10 years)]. If you look at the overall picture, it would not be incorrect to conclude that a 50/50 split of marital assets is unfair to Person 2. This example only illustrates the simplest situation with both people working, no kids, and no debts. When you consider kids (from this and previous marriages) with stay-at-home spouse, debts, supporting a spouse through school, or sacrifices made to take care of a spouse with unexpected medical conditions, the overall picture gets even more complicated.

The important thing should be that you and your girlfriend honestly discuss your expectations of marriage and hopefully realize that you truly want to share your life together, which includes taking care of each others' futures while sharing both the good and the bad. You may find that you and your girlfriend do not share these common goals and decide not to get married after all.

If that's the case, it would still be better than getting married without this understanding, spending all your energy trying to draft a prenup to cover yourselves against something because you don't have this understanding (instead of investing that energy to determine if you actually share common goals), and then get divorced a few years later. With most jumping into marriage without that understanding, it's no surprise that the divorce rate is so high in the US, such that the average joe/plain jane is pondering if they need a prenup. There are definitely reasons to get a prenup (kids from previous marriage, family business) and an ethical family lawyer should be able to advise if a prenup makes sense for your particular situation and assets.

Answer 2

It is not possible. Most women are out for your money to begin with. If she isn't, she will be more understanding. If she plans on living the rest of her life with you, it shouldn't be that big of a deal. Are you rich? If so, this will be a sure way to see if she is marrying you for you and not just your money. If your not, then why bother with a prenup? Good luck.

Answer 3

Be straight forward; explain your point of view in the simplest terms you can, giving examples that you think are relevant to your situation. However, I don't think you'll have a fiance any more... I wouldn't be willing to sign a prenup.

Answer 4

Unless she is completely understanding there is no way it can be done.

Why would you want to anyway if you are going to marry her you should completely trust her and be willing to share everything with her.

There is no way I'd ever sign one!

Answer 5

Just tell her.....I would be fine with it. What's yours is yours.....But what you two obtain during the marriage is 50/50.