What to do??

Question

Ive been married for 12 yrs. His mother and sister are always in the middle of our marrage. They dotn like me I know that. In public however they make it seem like they do so ppl can think they are the best inlaws. Behind closed doors they treat me like **** make comments about how my husband can do better. I have talked to him over and over. He says im over reacting and jelous of them adn their love for them. One time my mother in law even told me how nice it would be if his sister and him werent related cuz they looked so good together. Im sick and tired of them and getting pretty tired of him thinking im jelous of them and defending them. Seems im last priorty to him. We have 2 kids whom my in laws only want to see them when they want. Im contemplating divorce dont know what else to do. What do yall think?

I had left him before cuz of this. He promised me never to let it happen again. But guess what its BACK!!! UGH

Answer 1

well,i am very sorry for that. but please! you have to pull through this challenge. if you quit, i call you a coword.and deep down you, you know you will be a loser. encourage yourself with the Gospel.pray for your inlaws. and do not forget that this kind of challenges only come to refresh your relationship. suggest going to see a counsellor together with your husband. if he does not agree, then, with prayer, take a bold step to visit your inlaws and express yourself in the best way. NO ASSAULT!!!! remember to inform your husband about every step you take. i wish you all the be. But i strongly believe that you will be smiling

Answer 2

That's tough, it's easy to say he should should be sensitive to the situation knowing that it bugs you and standing up for you because he's your husband, but telling him he's wrong will just hurt his ego and in the end make you feel less secure in your relationship. That's really the net result anyway. The best thing to do is separate the person from the problem. Then you can look at what you and your husband's interests are. To feel accepted and not to have his mom and sister come between you, and his to not have conflict between his mom and you. Come up with some solutions that satisfy both needs, not just so you win or he wins, but to bring both of you closer. It's best to agree on an independent standard so both of your feelings don't get too involved. That's why counselors are good, it's an unbiased person who has been trained in that area so a good independent standard. If you're religious your religion might shed some light on the topic. If you can't come to an agreement you have to determine what your best alternative is. In your case it sounds like leaving him, which is hard since there are children involved. See if you can come up with some solutions that you both gain from, appeal to his interests as well as yours. Then evaluate whether the outcome satisfies your interests, is better than your alternative and don't forget...makes you happy.

Answer 3

First of all, always defend your self no matter what. Don't let the in-laws walk all over you. Talk to your husband and tell him who you feel again and have him talk to your mother and sister-in-law butting in because that's wrong unless you are inviting them to do so which clearly seems like your not. How do you treat them? if you treat them nicely and they do not return the same, then I'm on you're side. If after that, things don't change, then I suggest that you leave, life's too short for sour in-laws.

Answer 4

well than in-laws will always be a problem in the society looks like forever.. they can not change! and for some reason the husband will always support the mother for sure! how about this you take you husband in a corner and you look up to him and tell him that your filing for a divorce! if he wants to keep his marriage he better limit his parents or sister coming over to your place and as for the children try to keep them away from them!!
you tell him either and make sure you get him to write on a paper and sign it... or your filing and he can stay with his mother and sister forever! and the kids go with you!!
As for jealousy part make sure you tell ur jerky husband than your way pretty and intelligent and caring then them so what is there to be jealous of... maybe they are jealoused of you!!
if he loves you and wants to save his marriage he will agree to all your conditions and you better get everything written by him and signed as well and keep that save.... may come in Handy if he ever changes his mind and you file for divorce!!

Answer 5

your in a situation where no one can really help you but you and your husband.
im sure youv talked many times about this to your husband and i see that it hasnt worked out.
this might show you that he is on their side and seems to me that he kinda puts you on the side where he can ignore your problems.
you shouldnt leave him becus of this. you can have a talk with the inlaws yourself and tell them how you feel. you have every right to tell them your opinion becus you and your husband are now a family and they shouldnt get between you two.
so tell them that you dont feel comfortable hearing what they say about your marriage. and tell them whats on your mind. tell them all. even if they are annoyed and hurt, it doesnt matter. the truth hurts and they will be really mad at you and annoyed but after some time im sure they will learn to leave you alone.
talk again with your man too. tell him that he really bothers you. i really dont have any more ideas. the best one would be to talk to the inlaws and see if they back away from you two.

Answer 6

I understand where you are, I have been there myself. If your husband is showing that little respect for you then maybe you should leave. If you have left him over this before and nothing has changed then, in my opinion, it probably never will. He needs to stand up for you and tell his family that you are his wife and they will treat you with respect or they will no longer be invited to share in your life. I left my husband and it was the best thing I could have done. We have two children together and he has since remarried and I see the same behavior. So, I knew it wasn't me. It was his mother thinking she needed to control and keep her baby boy. Best of luck to you!

Answer 7

as you see everyone has his opinion.some had a similar experience and some didn't.what I would advise you is that you stay in your house and that you speak to your husband and make it clear that you're upset about the constant interference of his parents in your life and you want him to sort it out otherwise you'll handle and I mean it face your mother in law and put her where she should be.don't be the nice person that they can hurt easily just be like a wild women and make it clear to everybody that no one has the right to interfere in your life without your permission.As for your poor husband if he's accusing you of being jealous for his mom tell him he's sooo wrong and tell him either he'll stand by you or he'll loose you soon but don't walk away now just for the sake of your kids and cause that'll be a victory for your in laws .
Good luck my Dear

Answer 8

It is hard to make a marriage work when the family comes between, seems like they don't even respect the fact your his wife, just tell your husband they don't have to like you but you deserve respect in the matter your his wife, why should you be jealous of them I think its rather strange the mother wished her daughter wasn't her daughter cause they look good together that's kinda messed up if you ask me. I guess if he wont help you when it comes to his family then its a lost cause really, good luck

Answer 9

Insist on counseling first before you throw in the towel. How stupid of your husband...he married you and he should stand by you. Were things like this before you married? If they were, you should've put on the brakes because a guy that can't stand up for himself or his wife has no business getting married. And what kind of crazy inbred thought is that of his mother's? Yikes. She's scary. Tell Hubby you need to go to counseling to resolve these issues. If he won't go, go without him and you'll get the help you need to figure out what to do next. Good luck!

Answer 10

no, it's not tough AT ALL. the truth that you realize deep down your middle that Allah is The Only One True God and Creator, and that Muhammed is his messenger and so is Jesus Christ, then you're competent to move. you're competent to mention the Shahada that is "I endure witness that there is not any God however Allah, and Muhammed is his messenger"... and whilst you breath that during, you're competent to move. you'll suppose this sort of comfort and a lovely peaceable sensation than ever earlier than. simply the truth that you have got submitted the whole thing to Allah and grew to become a Muslim may be very overwhelming. Are you kidding? honey, you're already accredited within the Mosque. it's the apartment of God. nobody has the correct not to take delivery of you. And the Muslim group is an overly embracing and alluring group, consider me... They deliver you spirtual help greater than you ever dreamt of. from this present day ahead, you're all sisters. you are my sister, and i'm yours. so Yeeyyyye!!! I individually desire i might marry a convert... quite. since, customarily converts have this glow in them. their religion is so robust, they're very inspirational. the excellent factor approximately that's that they have got attempted each methods. they have got skilled lifestyles as a non-Muslim and lifestyles as a Muslim, and they may be able to inform the colossal change. so i'm definite there are plenty of men in the market who might desire to marry a convert. i imply, there is not any discrimination, we're all Muslims. Love is within the air, correct?! Anyway, i am hoping you have got a best time pronouncing the Shahada. it's an unforgettable feeling... so revel in it. and every time you want a buddy to speak to, i can be right here, ok? suppose unfastened to e-mail me at any time... Allah Bless you... :)

Answer 11

There are too many many in your marriage and the only person who can get the extra people out is your husband. Give him a time-limit to get the process rolling and if it doesn't be prepared to leave. Since you have children and you're been together 12 years you may also suggest that you guys go to therapy. but if he doesn't make a positive step forward.....leave.