how many of you would stay unhappy in a marriage for your kids?

Answer 1

THAT is an excuse. Kids know if you are happy or not, even at an early age. People who are unhappy generally fight and fuss. All that does is teach your kids that a relationship involves drama. There are defintiely situations where separation of the parents would be of great benefit to the children. If you are unhappy, at some point you are going to look for happiness. I believe that life is too damn short to be unhappy. I've been in situations that weren't making me happy and I regret the time I wasted, when I could have been with someone who made me happy.

Answer 2

NO! My parents were sooo unhappy together. It lasted for about 18 years....it was horrible. I could never invite friends over because I was embarrassed about the fighting. I wouldn't talk on the phone for the same reason. We never did anything fun. I encouraged my mom to leave because she was soo unhappy. She did. I live with my mom but I still see my dad. I live such a better life now...you don't even know. I'm so grateful that she left.

The kids usually want what's best for everyone. Even if they're mad they will understand later. Kids shouldn't have to grow up listening to their parents scream and yell, or watch them push eachother around. Even if it's not violent or loud, there will be tension and the kids, and you, wont be getting what you need/deserve.

I hope I was of some help.
God bless

Answer 3

Sometimes staying in a marriage for the children's sake is not always the best thing. Do your children see a lot of fighting and arguing going on? What is worse for children, an unhappy family life or a happier life separated from mom/dad? Have you tried counseling? Have you tried to rekindle your marriage at all? I would give it 110% first before divorce. A romantic getaway. A candlelit dinner. Something!!! You never know, you might find yourself falling for this person all over again.

Answer 4

Instead of thinking of it from the "unhappy" place, why not think about how to make the marriage a happy one?
Making a marrige last is VERY hard work. I know, I've been married nearly 19 years to the same wonderful woman and no, it's not all been good. But it is those rough times that make the good years so much better.
Maybe some counseling could help and then no one would be miserable.
That is, of course, one of the 3 "A's" is involved;
addiction, abuse, adultery. In those cases, I do believe it's better for everyone to end it.

Answer 5

I would not.
Children are not a reason to stay married. If you are in a marriage that is not going well, and you have tried every available resource to better your union, then it is time to go.
Some people think that staying in married, even if they are miserable is better for the children. But I know from experience that it isn't.
Children pick up on things faster than most adults give them credit for. If a couple is not acting lovingly, those children will notice. There have been studies that show that where there are 2 or more children, and the parents bicker and argue, there will be more sibling rivalry and arguments.
Children truly do mimic their parents. If you are acting apathetic towards your spouse, how can you expect your children, who witness this, to be happy?

Answer 6

I think that people should give their kids more credit.
Unless your kids are newborn they know that you are not happy. I think that when people try to stay in an unhappy marriage " for their kids sake" they are only fooling themselves. Your kids feed off the well being of you also. What I mean is just like we want our kids to be safe and happy they wish the same for us. They thrive because of the way we also live our lives. So, believe me if your in a miserable relationship 9 times out of 10 you are not raising a happy child. You can't hide your feelings no matter how you try. So, don't make yourself miserable for your kids sake.

Answer 7

Well first of all, I'm a happily married man. But I was involved in a relationship in which we had a child. I stayed in the relationship for two years, trying to work it out for our daughter. I think the thing that kept me their the most was the fact that I did not want my daughter to grow up with out father. Then I realized that I don't have to be with her mother to be a good dad to her. So don't think that it's gutless to stay, Sometimes staying is in their for your child is the hardest thing to do. And yes kids can suffer from bad marriages, If you see that your child is being affected by your unhappiness, that's when you sit them down and tell them that you love them and mommy loves them. They need to know that nothings their fault. I hopes this gives you a little better insight on the dad's side.

Answer 8

Well coming from and unhappy marriage, as a kid, I would have appreciated my mom taking off, because as the child I knew she was unhappy and that was not fair to her and to me. Unhappy parents means unhappy children. When she finally left, she was really happy which help us realize that we can still have a relationship with both parents, but not the negative cause by their unhappiness... So no I would defenitively would not stay....what I will try to do is keep a good comunication with my ex-partner for the sake of the kids... BUT STAY---NO WAY.

Answer 9

I'm a child whose parents went through an unhappy marriage for me and my sisters for about 21 years. Our home life was hell, and no one was happy. Finally, everything hit the fan and my parents got divorced. I'd say we all survived it okay- the bad things that occurred in the lives of my sisters were more results of things not having to do with the divorce. Overall, I think everyone's much happier now. Well, maybe not my mother, but she really causes her own problems. So, if the marriage is that unhappy, I do think your kids would understand if their parents divorced. (This is assuming your kids are old enough to understand divorce.)

Answer 10

I don't think staying in a unhappy marriage is the best thing for the kids, if you are unhappy, they will know.I stayed with my husband unhappily and i wish i would not of done that. My kids all have issues today because of their father and i staying together just for them. If you are not happy seperating is what is the best answer. For you and the kids. Good Luck