Is it still appropriate to ask a girl's father for her hand in marriage or is that old fashioned?

Question

Is that old fashioned or is it still good etiquette? And if her parents are divorced and both remarried, do you go to both sets of parents?

Answer 1

It is impeccable etiquette and it will certainly (at least I hope so) make a good impression on your in-laws. Typically, when a man is seeking a woman's hand in marriage the suitor asks the father (being the head of the household in our lovely, patriarchal society) of the "bride-to-be." It's a beautiful gesture, and I hope that girl knows that she's getting an old-fashioned (I'm reading romantic in here) gentleman for a future husband. How sweet! I'll all a-twitter from your chivalric gestures. Maybe it's not dead yet. Good luck m'dear and Goddess Bless!!

Answer 2

I think it is old-fashioned AND still good etiquette. More often that not it is not asking permission, but more of a gesture of respect to the father/parents who have taken care of her until now, at which point you take over. Depending on her relationship with her parents, you could ask both.

Answer 3

Well I think it is very old fashioned and nice but I also think times have changed so much where it no longer means as much. Years ago most girls lived at home until they were married and there was a very strong family unit where the dad had a very controlling presence. These days, woman are more independant and are going to marry someone no matter what the parents think and most already live away from home.

Answer 4

You ask the father - and possibly the step-father. It all depends on the relationship and the closeness of the girl to those two men. It is sweet and just shows the family respect. It is old-fashioned but believe me a great story to tell the children and it's respectful.

Answer 5

I feel it is still appropriate to do that. My sister's fiancee did that. If the girl has a good relationship with her parents and the step parents as well it would be nice to include both sets in asking. If they aren't close then maybe just her bio parent.

Answer 6

first of all i would think girl's real Bio father to hand donw the marriage I don't care if your mom remarried to other man. Depend on if your real father being there all the time than step dad then cool if both still I think you should ummmmm your real dad because father and your real mom gave birth to you. If your real father died and of course your step dad can do that for you. BUt if real father is alive you should start with him first.

Answer 7

Are the parents old fashioned? If not, I don't think it is required to ask for their permission, but it is respectful to let them know first what you two are planning.

I think it's a nice thought to ask them but it's not necessary in today's society. But I could be wrong, there are plenty of people living in the 19th century.

Answer 8

Respect will never go out of fashion,or be old fashion,it shows that you are respectful of not only her,but her parents & that also shows you have good manners & was brought up right. It will endear you to her mother & give her father relief to see his little girl will be taken care of. Good luck.

Answer 9

A very romantic and proper thing to do! My boyfriend is old fashioned, so I hope that he does ask my dad if he can marry me. They get along well, and I know that my dad would say no problem as long as he takes care of me. They are both very protective of me. It is soooo sweet!

Answer 10

It is a very sweet gesture and shows respect not just for the woman but for her parents as well.
My neice jsut got engaged and her fiancee asked her mom and dad for her hand. That went along way in their acceptance of the marriage.