I'm in apt with my bf, he's just sleeping, working out, running, doing not a d***mn thing, I've been working, he is expecting me to pay for everything, I thew him out and he promised me he was gonna help, well guess what 1 week later, nothing, should I go there with the cops after work tonight and throw him out. I say with the cops cause he has hit me before..I'm sure your saying "how stupid can she be, but I'm just freaked"
2006-07-25 08:13:05 · 13 answers · asked by ms.mary 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Your not exactly stupid, though your definitely leaning on the dorky side of things... :oP
But then again love was never quite a logical science now was it?
If you share an apartment with this guy of yours, its safe to assume at least one thing: That you probably share a lot more than just a roof over your head with each other…which is most likely where the problem is in the first place.
If this guy that you’re living with isn’t married to you, then obviously he doesn’t have a very big stake in the relationship, even though you still reward him with all those other benefits that comes along when a couple shares a living space.
Although this usually isn't my style, to put it bluntly: you sold yourself cheap, and now this boy is taking advantage of you.
But what type of guy are you looking for anyway?
Do you want a guy that’s going to use you? Or do you want a guy that’s going to support you?
I’ve said this before, and I’m going to say it again:
You have to know what you want before you start pulling up expectations on us guys. Once you know what you want, then you need to start behaving accordingly, because that’s how you attract certain types of guys.
If you decided, for whatever reason (God knows why), that you want the type of guy that’s going to actually do something called “take care of you”, then whoa, you need to show a little self-worth and self-respect girl.
Stop making yourself so easy to get. What in world is a guy who has nothing on the table, nothing at risk in the relationship, doing in an apartment with you? what does this guy think you are anyway? some freebie hotel space, complete with a working maid that he can bid for whatever purpose?
Your giving this guy a free ride, (no pun intended) and not just that, but a free ride to the third power! He not only uses you but also drains your resources. I think it’s safe to say that this boyfriend that you talk about is a pretty lame one. Seriously, what kind of guy with any respect would hit a lady? Sick, if you ask me.
Kick this guy out (accompanying cops is a sound idea since he has a history of abuse).
Keep this guy out for good until he comes up with tangible proof that he knows how to respect women and balance a relationship by bringing in some level of support (you decide the price for your booty).
If he still doesn’t get it within, say, a month, I’m afraid you’ll have to move on and find a real man and not some boy next time.
…………………………………………
You know, back when the world was civilized, men used to have to sacrifice, work hard, and be committed to share a roof over their heads with a lady. Its was a beautiful practice commonly known as marriage where both partners were dedicated to fulfill each others needs. Supposedly, the man and woman had a distinct role to play and it went as follows: The man’s duty was to be the protector and provider, and the woman, the enrichment of the chest-beating primate's heart…but *yawn*
…I’m sure nobody recognizes or cares about what I just said.
One thing for sure, a 50% chance of success in a marital relationship is a better bet than allowing some curious guy to wander into your apartment, make himself at home, and start sharing a bank account with you.
...
Is this answer long or what...you owe me a big one.
2006-07-25 09:57:30 · answer #1 · answered by DavidDucati 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Let me tell you, your not dumb, We girls all do stupid things. If I were you...Yeah definately call the cops and kick his lazy *** out on the street. I myself am going through something like that and I've come to the point where it was like get off your *** and get a job or your outta here. I told him I could be poor by myself, plus I have 2 kids. Well needless to say he's a work right now. Ultimatums dont always work but, this time it did. Especailly if this guy is hitting you, His *** should be having dinner waiting for you. Anyways get the cops there to get him out and you'll feel alot better. I dont know why we women put up with stupid -lazy *** men , but we do, We just need to know when Enough is enough....Goood Luck!!!!!
2006-07-25 08:23:41 · answer #2 · answered by saraidan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of there and fast. If it's your place, kick him out and change the locks. You probably can't call 911 for this but you can call your local police non-emergency number and file a complaint. They'll tell you how to do all that. In the meantime, when you kick him out, make sure you've got plenty of people there to watch your back. For example, when things got bad for a friend of mine when she was living with a scumbag such as the one you describe, she had her father (a very intimidating looking man) come over there before she booted him out to ensure nothing bad happened. If this is not your apartment, pack your stuff now and if you have nowhere to go, call Women in Distress. They help abused women and I'm sure they can help you too. Good luck!
2006-07-25 08:20:00 · answer #3 · answered by SuperJenn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be stupid babe! get the cops involved, especially since he has a history of being violent with you..Throw his *** out with the cops there, get the restraining order and move on. You don't need a lazy *** that abuses you in your life...
2006-07-25 08:27:32 · answer #4 · answered by TXDUDE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is living there, the cops cannot "throw him out"......it is his residence as much as it is yours. Since you "let him move in", you will now need to file an eviction notice, and that could take 30 days from the day you have him served with it.
2006-07-25 08:21:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should kindly and slowly say to him that you think he is really nice but you have a hard, confusing, drama-filled hectic life that he probably wouldn't want to live with! If you end up liking this guy tell him you really like him and would like to get to know him better. Also, not to be rude if I am being it but maybe you shouldn't live with this older bf if ur on/off bf/gf , know what I mean?
2016-03-26 21:02:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know deep down inside what you need to do! You deserve better then that. I would take the cops with me and have him escorted out of my apartment and out of your life for good. Even if he tells you he is going to change you know better then to believe what he says. You can obviously take care of yourself you are doing it right now. Good luck!!!!
2006-07-25 08:28:58 · answer #7 · answered by Wendy B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe no cops, it's kinda lame-ish... it means u can't take care of urself at all somehow.. but hey, u don't have to take my opinion
my advice: get one or two hunky big strong friends of urs to help, let them throw the dude out (although first ask nicely)
it's not right for a lady to get her hands dirty... and hey, we're all ladies, right? :) we got to stand up 4 one another
oh, and get him a special cd with Offspring- Why don't you get a job
you might listen to the lyrics yourself, they're pretty inspiring in cases like this
cheers and let me know how it turns out
2006-07-25 08:20:43 · answer #8 · answered by lady xanax 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is his name on the lease? If not, by all means bring the cops to kick out his sorry butt.
2006-07-25 08:21:01 · answer #9 · answered by Kanga_tush2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try throwing him out for good if it doesnt work call the cops. is there any evidence that he has hit you?
2006-07-25 08:18:32 · answer #10 · answered by yurbuddy04 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋