How do I tell my husband that I don't want to be with him and he can have the kids?

Answer 1

Just tell him bluntly...you are not a bad person because you do not want the children, im sure you would take them if you thought it would be best for them....congrats to you for knowing your limits...if a guy posted this there would not be all these angry evil answers

Answer 2

There isn't any easy way to do it. You'd best do it away from the children so that there is no chance of them overhearing.
It's going to be pretty devastating for them to know you don't want them, and the two of you (maybe with a counselor helping) need to tell them together in the way that will hurt them least(if such a thing is possible). You do realize they will feel it is their fault, no matter what you say. But you can at least try to minimize the damage for their sakes.

I would suggest you don't tell him at home. He and the kids may not have the option of moving into a new house and he will not need the memory of hearing that news for the first time in his own home. Maybe ask him to go for a drive and a walk or something like that.

Before you do this, are you sure you have thought this through?
The way you have couched the statement sounds so cold.
Problems within a marriage which are worked through can strengthen the marriage and produce good results in the end, even if it's hard for awhile. A lot of people think leaving is the best way to solve a problem, but most people who have tried it (especially if they have jumped into a new relationship) find out it really isn't the easy answer. The one person you cannot leave behind when you do leave is yourself. And most of us, as we grow up, find out sooner or later in life that we are own biggest problem.

Before you do something that is going to devastate two families,your husband, and your children, I urge you to tell him how you feel, and what has brought about these feeings, but also to try to work through the problems with him even if it means counselling. It would be better than acting hastily and then regretting it later.

Answer 3

Well u have to have a good reason why u wanna do that( leave him with the kids)
Frist write down the advantages and disadvantages, i could give u one.
Advantage get the guy ur though could make u more happier than ur own husband.
Disadvantage the children will grow up learning that there dad is acting like to parents (mom & dad).

This is not an easy thing 2 do coz it involues children...i think u need to think this through.
Ur husband asked u for marriage coz he knew that ur the women he was searching for his whole life,its heart breaking for him2 see u leave...but he may show angry coz what man wouldn't coz he loves u and needs u but u want 2 leave he ain't gonna stop u.
It's hard being a mother...but worse coz he has to be both...he needs u and he loves u just hold on more longer.
if u tell him u wanna leave...u would see the look on his face that he can't believe it.

Answer 4

First, I would like to say "this sucks"! If I ever felt this way about my kids and husband and couldn't shake the feeling, then I would seek help! Separate counseling with a minister, and/or therapist could prove beneficial to you, your spouse, and kids. After a time of individual counseling, couples' counseling could help to jointly bring the marriage back together. Maybe, your kids could benefit from counseling - whether you decide to stay or leave! Remember the family you leave behind are left to deal with EVERYTHING! Try to think of your kids welfare first! In the end, if you choose to leave your kids and husband, be honest with him. Be appropriately honest with your kids, and good writtance! Remember, once carried out - it won't be so easily undone, forgiven, or forgotten. I realize that men leave their families all the time, because you're a woman it shouldn't be looked at any worse! I agree - but I'm looking at it the same. It sucks when men walk away from their families, and it will EQUALLY suck if you do!

Answer 5

HEY
wow. how long have you been married, and further more how old are u? We are sopposed to get married to stay married, how come you are leaving, and leaving your kids.? Well at any rate it sounds like your are mentally unhappy, and since you are, you should try counselling with your partner, not because your working on the relationship, but it will help you two to seperate and be responsible people. Remember you are still a mother, and being a mother means soo much more that being irresponsible and selfish, it means being responsible and unselfish, doing what you know is best for your kids and ultimately yourself! Leaving your marriage shouldnt mean leaving your kids, they shouldnt have to pay for your decisions, have you ever thought of having joint custody? or have you thought of missing all those precious holidays with your kids, have you thought of your kids growing up, because they will and are you prepared to answer how you could just walk away from them and wash your hands of them? If not then work on a better seperation for everyone!
And last of all Pray for guidance!

Answer 6

You are a low life sorry excuse for a mother. He can have the kids? You act like they are material possessions. They are human beings that need to be loved and accepted. You may never regret leaving your husband, but you will regret leaving your kids. What kind of a mom wants nothing to do with her kids? Is partying more important to you or have you found another guy that wants nothing to do with your kids or are your kids undisciplined so they seem uncontrollable to you. Boy am I glad I don't personally know you.

Answer 7

Obviously, you are going through some major issues. Don't pay those others any mind! Every one is quick to jump to the conclusion that you are a bad mother, did they ever stop and think maybe you are letting him keep the kids because he can provide a better stable envrionment for them? Even if that is not the case, it is not their place to judge.

I myself don't usuallay advocate divorce. It sound as though you may need someone to talk to. You can email me, if you just need a sympathetic ear or just ever want to talk. Or seek some guidance from your pastor. If all else fails, then just pray and ask God to forgive you and tell your husband just like you stated above. Good Luck!!

Answer 8

OK, giving up on the husband is one thing, but giving your kids away is another. This will have a dramatic effect on them in their growing up. What would make you care so little about their lives without you being in it? There may need to be some counseling for the family or your having a sole to sole talk to your spouse to make things work out. If he's messed up, don't make the kids suffer, they don't deserve this, because they don't ask to be born.

Answer 9

There is no easy way to say something like this.

It's hard that you don't want to take the kids with you, but I think you'll have your reasons.

But be cautious with that - it is ok for a mother to do what a lot of father's do - leaving the kids with their father / mother's - but it is always very important that the children know that you still love them, that you are always their mother.

And I think that is the case, isn't it?

I don't think anyone has the right to judge you for wanting to get a divorce or for letting him have the kids - but you should try not to harm your kids unnecessarily. You love them, do you?

I hope you'll find a way - good luck.

Answer 10

It's one thing to not want to be with your husband, but it's another thing to completely turn your back on your kids.

For their sake and your's....please don't do it.
Divorce him if you must, but not the kids.

Think how abandoned your kids will feel as they grow into teenagers, and eventually into young men and women. They will feel both stigmatized and traumatized, thinking that you didn't love them or care enough about them to stay.

They will grow up deeply hurt and with trust issues. You will miss Christmases and Thanksgivings with them, their birthdays, their first days of school, family picnics, reading to them, tucking them in to bed, their proms, their graduations...their weddings, and the joy of holding your first grandchild.

Although you may be very angry and upset by what is going on in your life right now, please think carefully. This is a life changing decision that has powerful, far reaching consequences for both you and your childen. This not something you can take back once done, but it is something you will have to live with every day for the rest of your life.

Years ago, I knew a man whose wife was fed up.
She was fed up with the boredom of the marriage, and the daily drudgery of taking care of the house and 5 kids ...all under the age of 10. So she decided to leave both her husband and her kids.

The year after she was gone, the youngest one who was under the age of 2, drowned in the bathtub.
Six years after she was gone, one of the children was electrocuted, after touching something that didn't have a ground. The only daughter wound up pregnant & married at 16. One kid wound up being murdered in a drug deal gone wrong. The one remaining son is an alcoholic.

I hope you choose wisely, for your sake and that of your children.

God Bless~*

Answer 11

I'm not going to say that's horrible. I'm not going to say your a bad mom. I'm not going to judge you, I can't for I don't know you.

Though I don't know you, I don't think you should be on here asking that question...you should be asking yourself that question. How can I tell my husband I don't want to be with him and he can have the kids...ask yourself that. Talk to your friends and family if you need help...not strangers. Strangers don't know you and cant' help you as well....they will easily tell you you're a bad person, where as friends love you and will advise you and actually try to help.

Good luck and god bless.