can't sleep with out holding him......when we play with each other its 95% from my side and only 5% form his side. This makes me feel wounder that why I am one who whats to hold him and doing all the things and he does nothing.....I feel frutrated that I have to aks him that...can you hold me please....I want him to touch me and feel me as I like to do with him........I have also cried few times for this but he is still the same.....I want to save my self esteem but I just can't sleep without him.....How do I solve this porblem, how do I get a better sleep without him or make him want me????? Please Help!!!!!
2006-07-25 07:56:28 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
lol My hubby is like this. He can't sleep holding me. I've tried to get him to do it but he's stubborn. So I cuddle him...and it works really well. He grumbles and moans about it but deep down he loves it. Well I tell myself that anyways lol. Are you maybe a restless sleeper and that's why he doesn't like to hold you? Or maybe compromise by just laying on his shoulder to sleep with his arm around you?
2006-07-25 08:03:49 · answer #1 · answered by Cat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the way u can get the romance back in is. this maybe hard but Despite how he doesnt return favors.Make him feel hes wanted in other ways like telling him Hes still very attractive 2 u, tell him how u r so proud of him when he comes home and when he leaves.This will keep him in line cause if someone else is saying things to him that u no longer continue 2 say even if u cry just let keep these things in his head so that hell believe what u say and not the desires Then do the things u might not try.Go down on him just take charge Get into the spicing up things.U might have 2 go through exetreme measures but at least hell be holding u and not turning his back.Hes not gonna want 2 talk unless u ingnore him. Start fliping the script. Dont let him see u down. If he cant hold u like u deserve. Id simply try other things- goodluck!
2006-07-25 15:09:41 · answer #2 · answered by VooDooQueenWitch Docter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bigger question is does he MIND that you want to hold him while you two sleep? If he doesn't mind, without asking him, just take his hand and wrap it around yourself. Maybe he'll pick it up and start doing it on his own.
My husband hates cuddling at night but I like it. We kinda compromised now...I only do it when I really need it. But it's funny cause he likes cuddling now. He hugs me for a while before falling asleep.
The problem, I think, is that you have given too much. When one person gives too much and gets less back in return, they'll feel very rejected and almost dumb for putting their whole heart into it. I felt like that at one time...and the result I had to do was talk to my husband. In tears or not, I had to say it. He understands now. Marriage is a big compromise and the only way to get through is communicate. Talk to each other, you two are married now, there is nothing in the world you couldn't talk about to each other. Good luck!
2006-07-25 15:21:55 · answer #3 · answered by jade11378 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anyone ever stop to think that it gets physically uncomfortable after a while! It did for me, shoulders would hurt, need to stretch or change positions to get comfortable. May I suggest approaching it as a compromise. A little cuddling/holding time and then time to sleep with no obligations to anything except getting a good nights rest.
2006-07-25 15:30:27 · answer #4 · answered by Carp 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for saying this but I think it's more then that. Thats how all husbands are after that first year of marriage it's not new to them so really they don't think about it anymore and don't care. If it depresses you that much talk to him and tell him how you really feel but I honestly think you need to get over yourself. Stop asking him and maybe after a few days he will hold you at night, if not just stop having sex with him. I bet it will definately work then.
2006-07-25 15:02:51 · answer #5 · answered by lillady 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Trust me. You're not the only one with a husband like that. Alot of us are. He sounds like he's just not affectionate, and yes that really hurts us women. But I wouldn't kick him to the curb if that's his biggest flaw. He could still love you very much and show you in other ways. In the meantime, we only have ourselves to lean on anyway. Other people, especially husbands, will disappoint.
2006-07-25 15:28:38 · answer #6 · answered by cynthiajean222 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Join the club
2006-07-25 14:59:25 · answer #7 · answered by just me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with patrick ,good lord grow up if ya need someone that bad to sleep with get a teddy bear.
2006-07-25 15:06:19 · answer #8 · answered by blondie 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Theres a lot of us out here in your same situation.
2006-07-25 15:09:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Theres some more problems then you realize talk to him till he answers !
2006-07-25 15:03:28 · answer #10 · answered by cherdwum4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋