He has hit her several times in the head, and also is very controlling. He gets upset about the most retarded things, like her not answering her cell phone. she has left several times and even had an affair, but she always gone back. now all they fight about is the house not being clean and the children(she is pregnant like me). but the abuse gets worse at times, but then it can go for a week or two and everything is alright. My heart breaks for her, but what can i do to help? I want her to leave him, but she has no money, and no place to go. my husband doesnt want her to come live with us because of her husband and the problems it may cause for us. please help me. SERIOUS REPLIES ONLY!!!!!!!!!
2006-07-25 07:46:32 · 9 answers · asked by justonemore_25 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He hits her to a point that it hurts but doesnt leave marks....also he used to work in law enforcement.....so when we call the police they dont listen to us
2006-07-25 10:03:16 · update #1
sweets the best thing for u to do is sit down and talk to her real good. Ask her do she really want to get out of that relationship. tell her she's not his rag doll and she needs to go to call one off those abusive hot lines and ask what she needs to do. Do it while he's not there ok. I've seen too many abusive relationships, but never been in one. Tell her to let him know that she's not afraid of him anymore. You are trying to do the best u can, but u van't be god and rescue her just do what u can ok. Tell her to tell her family. Has he threatened her or something . One day while he's at work she needs to gather all of her stuff and the kids stuff and go to one of her family member house. Have it planned out ok.
I think that any man that wants to beat on a woman is messed up in the head, afraid to hit a man, and is a pussy
He has no right to hit her
she is not his property, she is her own woman
Your friend needs to realize what this man is doing to her
He might hit her in the stomach and make her loose the baby
Do not say that she wants to stay with him because of the children. That's not a reason
No woman should get beat
I will pray for hear
PLEASE TALK TO HER
2006-07-25 08:22:30 · answer #1 · answered by sweetcherry4u 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Firstly, She has to want to leave. There are organizations to assist her. Just call local Health Department, and find out. Take photos of her. Call the police, yourself, ask the police for help. When she calls you about an incident, call police right away.
Secondly, She is endangering her own child by not seeking help.
Thirdly, She can go take out a warrant at anytime. She has a period of a year, in most states to file for a protection order for any of the incidence of hitting, harassment, or stalking.
Fourthly, Tell her to get off her butt before he kills her and her child.
Legal Aid exists in your state!
2006-07-25 07:57:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are agencies all over the world that can help. Even if you live in a small community, there should be some place you can go for help.
Try contacting the police department, and ask for the number and such for the nearest shelter. Contact them, ask them what the process is.
Then, you and your husband can help her get to the shelter. At least there, she would be protected.
If she refuses, then you have to realize that if she is not willing to help herself, there is not much you can do.
GOOD LUCK!
2006-07-25 07:55:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a really bad situation, especially with her being pregnant. the most you can do is influence her to leave and go to a Woman's Shelter, get her to call an AbuseHotline. she has to be the one to decide to leave - you can't make her. if she doesn't leave it's possible he could kill her. not having any family or other friends to take her in is hard to believe. don't you at least know a friend of a friend who can shelter this woman and her kids? there's got to be someone. your friend's life (& unborn child) is in danger!!!
2006-07-25 08:05:09 · answer #4 · answered by chit-chaat7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could look at getting her into a shelter for abused wives. There are places that provide havens, counseling and legal help for women who want to get away. Love her and support her, let her know you are there to help her. But untimately in the end, she has to make the choice to leave him and get on with her life.
2006-07-25 07:54:35 · answer #5 · answered by Cat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have given her good advice.. the sad part is you can't make her take it. don't they have a place in your city forr women who are in abusive relationships. Since she is in pregnant he child is at risk also.. Maybe you could use that fo leverage when talking to her all it takes is him losing temper once and her and the baby could be seriously hurt.
2006-07-25 07:56:16 · answer #6 · answered by Kat (with wisdom under her hat) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey....i was also in an abusive relationship....I got out of it...thought that I couldn't live without him...he did everything u can imagine....i was young,nieve, and in love....but he could of killed me...he threatned me plenty of times...i left him...so i know that feelin of bein abused...mentally,phsically,sexually, and emotionally....there are places out there that can help her...u can give her the advice....the question is: "Well,she be willin to leave him????"
She has to step up and be the one to stop it.....my heart goes out to her and the unborn child...what if does something to her and the baby is at risk?? Get in there and help her out...there are programs that are willn to help her....like....woman's shelters....1-800 #'s....she can do alot of stuff....she has to be willing though....it well be hard..but it well save her life....and her unborn baby...
I well keep her in my prayers and thoughts....no person deserves that kind of treatment.....man! be her fren and help her...in anyway that u can...but u have an unborn child as well...so be careful....take care and hope to hear from u soon...
2006-07-25 07:59:43 · answer #7 · answered by itsa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it would be best to send her to a local womens resource center. theres always one in any town. you or her needs to go to the police and file a report. make sure she has no contact with him at all! and be strong you and her will get through this!
2006-07-25 07:54:53 · answer #8 · answered by sarah_gotdance 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
knowing me my grandmother was abused from my grandpa.I would call the cops on him without telling a word to anyone and you need evidence to back you up in case he may lie in cort.you also need to keep her in your prayers.You don't need to let this go on any longer
2006-07-25 08:03:57 · answer #9 · answered by Beautiful g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋