Here is a situation please give me advise?

Question

Im going out with this guy who i am completly head over heels with and vise versa but he just seperated from his common law wife like a year ago and states that he no longer has feeling for her and were planning on moving in together wich is great because he is a great guy anyways his ex wanted to speak with me but i didnt want to so he puts her on speaker asking me to take care of him and that he is happy and vise versa and that she is letting go but that she still loves him with all her heart and they have 2 beautiful girls. This made me feel like crap, but they were already over when i got into the picture. Do you think that was just a front she put on and will try and take him back because she is insisting on going to birthday party that she wasnt invited to but says that she was and i am going i understand why she wants to go because its her daughter b-day but she can make another party or something but my boyfriend her ex asked me to go. Is this a good idea? opinions pls

I have already met his kids and they like me and my bf already had a talk with his oldest daughter about us and she is fine with it. I to have a son from a previous relationship

Answer 1

her call could it be a catch to get your attention and to make you feel uncomfortable....but no matter what her feeling for her ex is...now you have the ball in your hands so play it safe and talk to your boyfriend the way you feel when she is around and how you feel about all this intringe matter about his ex...do what your mind and heart tells you to do...and fight for what you have earned...in this case if the relationship is great between both...then keep going...and don't listen to her comments..and be a loving mother with his kids...even though they are not yours....hope this will help...and write back at me if you wish...at [e-mail]

Answer 2

First of all - I would seriously consider moving in with this guy...he's not even divorced yet! Problem #1 - you told your boyfriend that you didn't want to talk to his ex and you really have no reason to, yet he puts you on the phone anyhow because that is what his EX wanted. So don't try to say that he has no feelings for her - he put her feeling first right there! And it all seems a little juvenile - come on, are you really going to meet her for the first time at the daughters birthday party?? Those kids are already dealing with their dad moving out and you moving in. Perhaps you should meet before the party, but my question is - WHY does she want to meet you so bad? Is it becuase you have alot of contact with the kids? Because if that's the case, then yes - it makes sense she would want to meet. But when a relationship is over - both people move on and could care less who is in the other persons life - and they certainly don't tell the new girlfriend to take care of their ex. So yes, it sounds like she will try everything to get him back - she'll try to be so involved in your guys "new" life that it will cause you 2 to fight all the time, unless your ex stops it now!!!

Answer 3

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Answer 4

Yeah...I think you should feel like crap...Even if you dont want to admit it...your the one helping to break up a family!! People wonder why kids have so many problems growing up. Its selfish people like your "man" that contribute to the situation. He's got two beautiful daughters??? How will he know? How often will he be with them? How often will you help care for them? This man has no business beginning any relationship with anyone until his daughters are raised and on their own.. If you cant see that....wait till you have a couple...and are making that same phone call you got from his ex!! I hope you can be as understanding and generous.

Answer 5

girl go with your man he shouldnt've put her on speaker if you didnt want to hear then he should've just hung her up. I think the woman still has feelings for him, so watch out. Don't move in just yet, you might be placing yourself into some drama. Try to move in together a little later to see what o'l girl is talking about. Obviously they have some unfinished business to take care of.

Answer 6

Yes, he wants you and she is gonna have to get over that. She might want him back and that is scary because it leaves you with insecurity but if you love him and believes he loves you just let things play out. Go to the party never mind her have fun. She will always be in his life since she is the mother of his children but be ok with it. Support him having a relationship with his children and just try to be happy!

Answer 7

Watch out
Now that I've said that, it's possible that she still loves him but is not in love with him and they want to be good parents. If that's the case then you're going to have to support it or move on. If they have two kids together then they are always going to be in each others lives no matter what.

Answer 8

Little tip. Pose a question and make it brief. Correct spelling is a bonus but proper grammar and punctuation allow the reader to understand the points you are attempting to convey. Don't write a book.
I'm a f*cking dog and I know this.

Answer 9

Socializing with your new man's ex is a slippery slop.
...Since He has 2 girls with this lady, you are going to need to tolerate him going to birthday parties, etc, with his children where she may be present...I myself would let him do this on his own.

....You and he can have a separate party if you want...so you can get to know his girls.
...He will always have a connection with this lady, so you need to ask yourself if you can handle any feelings of jealousy as you could end up being the one that is hurt.

Answer 10

i am sure that if your bf really set on you...he wont be crawling back to his ex. though they have kids together, it was a long time ago. it is good for the kids that their parents are in their lives even if they are divorced.

maybe your bf could always tell/remind you how much he loves you so that it would put your paranoia at ease.

hope this helps :)