My son ( 11months) has been sleeping with me since birth........?

Question

i recently finished his room because i want him to start sleeping in his own room when he reaches a year ( august 4th) but i am afraid that he won't want to stay alone, what if he gets up in the night and doesnt see me wont' he be afraid. My mom says she thinks its me who doesnt want to part from him. his room is next to mine and there is a door leading from my room to his should i leave it open. Any suggestions for me to make the transition easier for both me and him

he doesnt cry to sleep with me when he is sleepy he usually falls asleep on his own

ok first of all he was sleeping with me because i didnt have a place of my own ok ( i mean to put cribs etc) my house was just finished furnished and i just moved in so that's why he was sleeping with me in the first place

Answer 1

Good for you for wanting your son to feel secure at night. You really do want your son to associate sleep with feelings of security and calm, and if sleeping with you is what makes him feel those things, then it's great that you are sleeping with him.

When we transitioned our toddlers into their own beds, we did it in gradual steps. First, we set up a toddler bed in our room, and for a couple of weeks, let them sleep there. That was exciting, "big kid" stuff, and since mommy and daddy were nearby, it wasn't scary at all. Then, we moved the beds into their rooms once they becaome accustomed to sleeping in them. We let them know that they should sleep in there, but if they got frightened of course they could come back to our bed. Which they did, a lot! But over time, and I mean over a couple of months, not one or two nights, they began to feel secure enough alone to stay. That's what I suggest; easy, slow steps.

Good luck, and remember, if he isn't ready to move yet, there is no law that says he should do it at one. My children were older and they were readier than they might have been at one. You are doing great, and don't listen to anyone who tries to make you feel guilty for meeting your son's needs.

Answer 2

Where does he sleep for naps? You could start there. Babies are about slow and easy transitions. Get him into a routine of bath, bottle, book, bed in his new room. Put him down in the crib and stay with him for a little bit until he falls asleep. Does he use a pacifier, if so make sure it's there with him, make sure there at least 2-3 in the crib. He probably will wake up crying, wondering where you are see if he will calm down by stroking his hair and saying mommys here. Don't feel bad if you cave in and take him to your bed, it's all about slow transistion. Keep at it and soon enough he will be in his own bed sleeping through the night.

Answer 3

don't listen to critics, my son has had his own room with a crib, and Ive had a bassinet in my room since he was born and he has still slept with me his whole life. if you aren't a heavy sleeper i see no problem with it. i wake up at the slightest noise he makes, and i have a guard rail on my side of the bed to keep him from falling off.
i haven't gotten it yet to get him to sleep at night in the crib, but i have been putting him in the crib for naps. if you put him down while he is groggy and not quite asleep so that he can actually do the falling asleep on his own it is a good start. i plan to move the crib into my room for a while, or maybe the playpen and get him to sleep in it next to me then move him to his room, or i could stay with him in his room until he gets used to it. i have a baby monitor but i will still leave the door open so i can hear him. good luck.

Answer 4

This drives me crazy, you should have had him sleeping in his own room at 3 months old! They only need to be in your room for your own comfort...my son now 3 1/2 has never had any bedtime trouble or fears and has been in his own room since he started sleeping through the night. This would be much less of a concern had you done that to begin with. Your mom is absolutely right, it is you who is having separation anxiety. Buy a monitor and close the door, you only need to go in to check on him for a minute if he cries and then leave. He will be just fine.

Answer 5

I had this exact same problem when my son was 11 months old. We even had a door between our rooms. My son from the first night loved sleeping alone. He refused to sleep with me after because he liked having all that space to himself. I however missed my baby not needing to sleep with me and I cried a little. But babies grow up and need some space. Keep the door open for your own piece of mind and for the first few nights your baby will want to know that if he yells you will hear him and be available to console him. Your son may cry for a few nights my suggestion is let him fall asleep in his crib (don't rock him let him cry it out if he needs to) but if after falling asleep in the crib he wakes up sometime in the night then let him sleep with you for the rest of the night. Knowing mommy is always near by will make it less stressful for him and eventually he will stop waking up in the night for your comfort because he knows how to fall asleep on his own in his crib. Good luck!

Answer 6

Does he take naps? He should be already used to sleeping without you in the room unless you've been napping with him. Naptime in his own bed will help him know that this is "his" place to sleep. Unless you have already made the little guy insecure without you, there should be no problem with him sleeping through the night alone in his own bed. Go ahead, leave the door open a crack for your own peace of mind. Be tough and don't cave in and let him back into your bed. Each time you give in, it'll almost double the time it takes for him to get used to his new world order and before you know it, you'll be writing answers again with "my six-year old son still sleeps with me, how do i make him stop?" Be firm.

Answer 7

Why is one year old a special time? Does it matter what your mom says? I still co-sleep with my 3 and 6 year old boys. My wife co-sleeps with our 16 month old daughter who is still nursing. I think that each family is different and sleeping arrangements should be flexible to meet everyone's needs. If your son is happy and other immediate family members are happy (not your mom), then what does it matter? Don't transition because others think it's time, do what you feel is right. There is a great book called The Family Bed by Tine Thevenen with all sorts of reasons to co-sleep. Can't remember if it talks about transitioning out of parents bed or not.

Answer 8

Let him go to sleep in your bed for a while and when hes asleep move him to his bed. Leave the door open so you can hear him at night..Make him take naps in his room..Mine is 2 has his own room and still sleeps with us..we keep placing him in his lil boy bed but he just wakes up and climbs in bed with us...seperation anxeities may or may not occur,,,Just keep trying to get him to sleep in his bed he will be fine...good luck

Answer 9

FIRST OF ALL WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU EVEN START THAT? BAD THING TO DO THAT;S WHY THEY CRIB'S AND BED'S FOR KID'S. THE ONLY TIME I DID THAT WAS WHEN MY KID'S WERE VERY SICK AND HAD A HIGH FEVER SO I COULD KEEP A CHECK ON THEM. YOU NEED TO GET YOUR SON OUT OF YOUR ROOM REAL SOON IF NOT HE WILL BE SLEEPING THERE FOR EVERY

Answer 10

well i slept with my daugter for the first 5mo of her life(my hubby was on deployment) When he came home he told me she had to sleep in her crib. It was really hard for me to let go. It took a lot of will power. When he starts crying at night let it go for a little bit. 2-3 min at first and progessively get longer and longer. When you go in his room dont pick him up let him know you are there talk to him or sing to him. eventually he will sleep in his own bed and not call for you all night long. Also get him a nightlight or a dimly lit lamp