my parents are divorced........................?

Question

my mom remarried when i was 7 i am wondering if ill ever be able to accept the way my "new" family is. I feel like i should move on but can't and no one else can relate to me? plus my stepdad hates me and calls me names all the time? i feel like i dont fit in. they do everything without me, i am in my young 20's but i was just wondering. please help if u can

Answer 1

Life is so tough most times
What i can suggest is as you are a girl if i m not wrong just spend your time with your friends and forget about your dad.
study in some other city or try to be away from your house as much as possible.
If you find the right guy marry him and live happily ever after.

I think this is the only way to treat the ill if he doesnt take the pill

Answer 2

I went through a similar situation. I am 25 and my parents divorced when I was 7 and my mom remarried when I was 8.

I never felt very comfortable around my stepdad - we are very different (I am musician and he is business man) and I think it wouldn't be an easy thing to relate to someon else's children as your own.

I felt hated by him (although he didn't actually hate me)untill the last year or so. My relationship with the parental units was pretty horrible especially in my teen and early 20's and names were deffinately called. Not on my part, becasue my parents were very authoritarian. Something I realized is that my parents didnt hate me at all - they do and did love me....but the relationship became so stormy and so volitile with unresolved things and unrealistic expectations (on both ends) that I we both treated each other badly.

I am sorry your family does things without you!!! That is so sad....

I guess my advice to you would be to bring some things up with them. If your stepdad is at the point where he is being verbally abusive, I don't know how much good it will do, but at least you can stand up for yourself (in a mature way) and get it across that you DO want to be included and it hurts when he is verbally demeaning.

Also, if your stepdad is verbally abusive, you might want to consider seeing him very little......maybe moving out if you live at home. But make sure that you have evrything set up, (such as job, and some money saved, or school set up if you are a student) before you go. I agree with the advice that you should talk to your mom, and also that you should focus on making a life for yourself!!! It can be exciting!

Answer 3

Well, it sounds like you have a disfunctional family. Most of the rest of us do too. Just be true to yourself and try to accept the good in all of them but of course you have to look after yourself and stay away from people who don't treat you right, including your stepdad.

You could try talking to your mom about how you want to get along with everyone but your stepdad calls you names all the time. Really, if she were looking out for you right, he wouldn't be able to say any of that stuff.

Answer 4

Talk to your mom about how you feel and what is being said by your step-dad. She is your mother and she will understand what your saying, don't be afraid to talk to her. On the other hand if you are in your 20's you can also confront your step-dad yourself and tell him what you really think about the way he talks to you and if he doesn't like it you can start treating him the same way and see how he likes it. If your mom remarried when you were 7 and you are 20 something now chance are if you don't feel like you fit in yet you never will if you don't confront them NOW. Good luck!

Answer 5

My parents divorced when I was five. My dad abandoned his three children and started a new life, while my mom experimented with drugs and casual sex. I've tried to "move on," but over time I've learned that moving on doesn't mean you have to endure the same abuse over again. Get an education, a job you enjoy, and make a life for yourself... in doing so, I think you will find the peace and understanding you are looking for.

Answer 6

If you feel that you don't fit in, then you aren't trying to fit in! You have to grow up and deal with life. I can tell by the way you wrote this that the universe still revolves around you! That is teenage thinking, time to realize that everyone is equal in your life. Once you realize this, you might be able to win the place in their hearts that they all have saved for you.

Remember that you step dad, reacts to how you react, if you are a kind and understanding and honest and all round good guy, then he will treat you as such.

Sorry, but it is time to grow up and become a man!

Answer 7

Your an adult, time to build a life for yourself. Your mom also has her personal life. She'll always be your mom but technically the parenting days are over. Try and spend time with mom and the heck with the stepdad.

Answer 8

If you haven't by now, what are the chances? Maybe if you move away and make your own life away from them, only visiting but not relying on them for anything, things may be better. You might have to let go of your idea of the 'perfect family' - it's rarely achievable. Just be happy with what you've got and concentrate on your future.

Answer 9

Get some good counseling if you really are upset about this.
protect YOUR future life , not theirs.
your mother made the choice and if she is doing any thinking inher head about you she will lower the boom on this jerk. sounds like this almost borders on verbal abuse.'
If confronted about how you feel about him and he still syas the same things, kiss the jerk off . he is not worth it. you can quote that to him from me.
speak up, dont hide those feelings and let it hurt you forever.
tell your mom also, same applies to her. rmember there are plenty of people out there that do love you. you ar not alone in this.

Answer 10

oh no see ur motha is wrong for lettin this man call u names no matta what. u r her child n no man should eva call u names n she shouldnt be allowing it either, n u know what u tell him that u r not his child n u will not put up with him callin u names n treatin u like some bumb off the street n then u tell ur mom what kind of motha r u to let a man of any sorts disrespect ur child like that. u also tell him that its ok, if thats what he needs to do to make himself feel good then why should u care bc he dont matta! see he isnt a man, bc no matta if he is ur dad or step dad he should treat u betta n not like crap. u dont need them. stop callin them n visiting them n move on..n btw I THINK UR WORTH MORE and when ppl make u feel bad then u dont need them in ur life. life is too short to sweat the ignorant ppl