My father passed away in 2002 and my mother has decided to finally release his ashes (another issue in itself). She has asked me if her new 'friend' should come along. She denies that he is more than a friend but I don't think she recognizes it for what it is. Anyway, I told her that it really is ultimately her choice but since he did not know my dad and didn't know her while he was alive that it isn't appropriate.
2006-07-25 07:23:47 · 9 answers · asked by AlongthePemi 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No, it's not about keeping the ashes. I did keep a small amount. The other issue is in another question - it's about the fact that she did not fully cooperate with his wish regarding where he wanted his ashes.
2006-07-25 07:36:35 · update #1
I don't have a problem with the new relatioship either - I only have a problem with having him there for that event.
2006-07-25 07:42:36 · update #2
If he is going with her for emotional support and she wants him there then I say that he should go. However; if it is going to cause great discomfort for the children and the rest of the family then I say that he should not. Depends on how it will make the children feel.
2006-07-25 07:27:40 · answer #1 · answered by kristin747 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like it really does bother you having him there, so i would tell your mother that it does. It would be best that her friend wait in the car or meet you two later at your place of destination after the event is over. Explain to your mother why you feel this way, remember truth is the best. Are you still mourning his loss and think it's too early for your mom to see others? If so, you are being selfish as it has been a respectable amount of time. Life is short. It's hard being alone, don't make your mother go throuh life without a companion if this is what she wants. You have your life and unless you want her going everywhere with you and spending every waking moment with you, give her some space in which to have friends also, even if it matures into more.
2006-07-25 07:39:17 · answer #2 · answered by roncarolhillsstupid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is also going through this and she was with your father before you. She may need this support to move on. We can all move on but never forget and I am sure your father would rather see your mother happy than upset
2006-07-25 07:28:32 · answer #3 · answered by Heather M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should stress the point to your mom that you don't want the other guy to come. out of respect if your parents were together when he died i don't think he would want her to have another man. if you want to keep the ashes you should let her know immediately
2006-07-25 07:29:15 · answer #4 · answered by dee-dee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because he didnt know your father he shouldn't go along but as a good friend he may be trying to show your mom that he is there for her!
2006-07-25 07:29:50 · answer #5 · answered by LaLo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think it would be appropriate for him to come being he didnt know your father and I also think its kinda disrespectful b/c she is there with her new love. So no he should not attend.
2006-07-25 07:26:57 · answer #6 · answered by Kim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes he should come along it has been 4 years isnt that long enough to let go? you mom moved on so should you
2006-07-25 07:30:16 · answer #7 · answered by tyler_durden_project 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think no. You should just tell your mom you want it to be close family only.
2006-07-25 07:28:14 · answer #8 · answered by girlpower 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be very awkward for you, her and everyone else. It's not a good idea.
2006-07-25 07:27:33 · answer #9 · answered by brandiwhine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋