My brother and my dads wife are the same age?

Question

In fact my brother is two weeks older they were even born in the same month. How can I help my brother deal with this. He doesn't even want to go around her because he said it's just to weird.

Answer 1

Give him time and room.
Don't praise her to him, nor disparage her.
Figure out what you want to say about it:

your father seems happy (if he is a widower this should make him happy; if he divorced your mother, it would make it worse).

talk about your own true feelings about the situation; and also talk (when you feel the time is right) about forgiveness (if that is part of it).

I think it's natural for your brother to feel weird, she's of an age who would normally be dating him, not your father. That has to feel strange. Don't disparage or invalidate his feelings.

You are caught in the middle. You might want to seek advice from someone to whom you can give more of the details--this sounds like there could be more complications than you have indicated--a trained counsellor or just a trusted and wise friend
or relation.

Answer 2

How old is your father's wife / your brother?

Does your brother live in the same house as your father and his wife?

If not - he simply has to accept it. There is nothing wrong with having a very young wife as long as it is love between your father and his wife.

I think your brother should get a grip - sorry, but it's no catastrophy!!!

I pity the poor woman because your brother seems to be pretty jealous.

To make it short: Your father leads his own life and has every right to do that. Your brother needs to be less selfish.

He should try to make friends with this woman, or at least get to *know* her - preferably when they are alone, without your father or you.

I hope your father's marriage will stay happy - your brother is an adult? - Then he should behave like one!!!

Answer 3

So what? My deceased father-in-law was older than my GRANDMOTHER. Some people have kids young, and some have them late, and sometimes those two types of families marry into each other. I prefer older men to whiney babies. It's really nothing to get your shorts in a knot over. Love knows no boundaries, attachments, or age. Stop being so freaking selfish and be happy for your poor father! And tell your brother, I highly doubt she is demanding to be called "mom". Just be nice to the woman your father is obviously so crazy about. Unless you don't give a crap about him.

Answer 4

My sister is 17, and my older sis is 30. My older sis is going out with A 17 year old. And my other sister feels the same way. She Say's that she just has to deal with it, maybe you should tell your brother just to just think of her as you dads age.

Answer 5

Wow......I would have your brother and your dad sit down and talk. it will probably take a lot of time before he can be in the same room with your dad's new wife though.

Can't say I blame your brother though.

Let him come around when he wants, too. He shouldn't be forced. Didn't you two know this before they were married?

Good luck to him.

Answer 6

I understand that and it is sort of creepy. Maybe he feels like your dad is a perv. Don't try to force your brother to accept this. Let him come to accept it in his own time. Either he will or he won't. But your dad is going to still live his life regardless of how your brother feels. But your brother does have the right to do what he chooses to do about it. Which is accept it or not. Tell your brother if he thinks that your dad is weird. Try having your mother dating your ex boyfriend.

Answer 7

i'd not call them regulations, yet they're sturdy regulations. in my view if women understood the flexibility of making use of even 1/2 off them (not accept as true with, basically comprehend) existence should be a lot more convenient for both. I accept as true with Monterey on the bathroom seat element. so some distance as footwear and garments go, i recognize the seem of a nicely-dressed, attractive-dressed, and/or cutesy-dressed lady in heels. So i do not care how a lot of both there is. it is what spare/visitor bedrooms and storage aspects are for (nicely it is between the excuses)...And once you're going buying at Victoria secret's or everywhere like you are able to certainly count number me in!

Answer 8

In todays world thing are not like they use to be.Your brother has every right to his feelings, your step mom should respect that! Your brother should respect her. Your brother already has a mother, and the step mom is not a replacement of her. but a companion for your dad. when your dad ask your brother to babyset your brother can tell him no! lol
just a bit of humor!!!

Answer 9

Honestly? Your Dad is an A** and he should be ashamed of himself. I don't blame your brother at all and if I was talking to him, my advice would be "Go tell your father what a poor excuse of a man and a role model he is. While you're doing that, be sure to tell his wife how completly immoral it is to marry a man who's still raising kids. Let them both know you don't approve and you may not come around so much"....That's what I would say.

Answer 10

Many people believe that their parents should be with someone their own age. In many cases, this is the norm and usually works out for the best. But, love is love. Age plays a factor only if you allow it.

Seems like your brother doesn't feel comfortable with a replacement 'mom' that is his age, as in the traditional role, she should be closer to your dad's age. The nerve that someone younger than himself trying to play mommy can get under one's skin. It's the same with younger bosses and older subbordinates. They feel superior to that person and don't appreciate them because of the situation.

Also, it changes the playing field that he and your dad are competing on the same age level for women. That in itself can be unnerving. If this one doesn't work out, will Dad be after my girlfriend one day?

He may also be wary of the 'gold digger' image that comes along with a younger woman marrying an older man, especially if she has children. One last thought could be that he himself finds an attraction to her that he is not able to act upon?

Maybe try inviting them all to more family functions - going out to eat, movies, bbq's. He may get used to her if he spends more time with her not in a one-on-one setting. Try to find out common interests between them, and go that route. Also, try to find out his definition of 'weird'. You may be able to help more if you knew exactly what his problem with her is. Don't rush it though, this will take some time for him to come around, if he does at all.

Best of luck!