Abort or keep the baby?

Question

Im about to turn 17 next month and just got pregnate a few weeks ago. My boyfriend says that he can't handle having a child this young, but Im the total opposite. I have always been against abortion, and I figure that if im able to give it all it needs than it will be fine. I also have 3 other sisters and a dad living under the same roof as me, only one of my sisters know. She thinks that if I go through with the abortion, that I probly wont be able to handle the feelings afterwards. My dad also went through a miscarrage with my mom, do u think i should tell him so he has part say in this?? Thank you for all your support

Answer 1

DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I DID!!! I was in the same situation as you and I let others talk me into believing abortion was 'for the best'. Now a 23 year old mom of a two year old with another on the way, I still have nightmares and battle depression. I don't think I'll ever really forgive myself, and not a day goes by that I don't mourn for what might have been. There's so many emotional consequences for people like you and I who never liked the idea of abortion in the first place. Not to mention the physical risks that may leave you unable to have kids later. If you can't care for the child, adoption is a loving option, but that too is extremely difficult. If I could do it again, I would have kept my baby. I wish you the best, especially when you tell your family. It's going to be hard, but take responisibilty for your poor choice to have sex, and show that you are willing to step up to the plate to be a good mother. Stay in school, get WIC if you need it, and tell your parents that you know you made a mistake, but want to do the right thing by your child. Good luck!

Answer 2

Sorry to tell your boyfriend this, he's responsible now. If you have the baby, then he will be ordered to pay child support.

It's your body and your choice. I will say I believe 17 is way too young to be raising a child, but it's good that it seems like you have a support system. And to answer your sister, you can handle the feelings after an abortion. But, I would wait to tell your dad. It's early in your pregnancy and things can happen.

You haven't asked about the next best solution - adoption. You could pick the family, your expenses would be paid, and you would bless a family with a child they desperately want. You have lots of time to find a good man and to have children when the time is right.

Good Luck

Answer 3

Yes, tell your father and about the abortion, only you can decide if you can handle that. Keeping a baby when your not ready can be extremely hard and dangerous for you and the baby, but an abortion can be equally the same because of the physical dangers and the mental feelings later on. If you are against abortion, I would not advise doing it because everyone else thinks you should. There are so many places out there to help young girls who are in your situation. Check it out and get some good advice about all your options. Have you looked into adoption also? Good luck!

Answer 4

Mother I Understand

I know that you are worried. I can feel your body’s tension.
In your life, I was an unwanted intervention.
Do not feel bad, it was an innocent mistake.
You had no way of knowing that the condom was going to break.
And now here I am. Each day more and more I grow,
As you try to figure out whether you will keep me,
Or if I will have to go.
He told you he would be there no matter what you choose,
I guess that was not comforting,
For I can tell that you are still confused.
I am just a baby. I will not be selfish.
Your welfare is my major concern.
I should let you know that I will not hold it against you,
If you do not carry me to term.
You lie with your hand on your stomach,
Wondering if I am a boy or a girl.
I know if the situation was different,
I would make you the happiest woman in the world.
I want to hold you, smell you, giggle as you look into my face,
But right now I am uncertain if that will be the case.
If you decide that I should go,
Some days you will think of me and cry,
But I know that you are not a bad person, besides
I am young and not afraid of dying.
However, I would like to be a doctor.
Your happiness would be my aim.
I would clean up my room, spread my bed,
Without you ever calling my name.
Hopefully, one day I could make you dinner,
Bring you shopping for diamonds and pearls.
I would thank you for all that you have done,
Especially, for bringing me into this world.
But we have a special bond, so I know exactly how you feel.
I now doubt that the dream in my head will ever become real.
I hate doing this to you. A tear runs down your cheek.
I want to tell you that everything will be alright,
But I am not developed enough to speak.
If I could, I would end my own life.
I never meant to cause you pain, never meant to cause you strife.
I feel your mood changing.
I know that you have made up your mind.
I realize that my life will be over in a matter of time.
I did not want you to hate me.
You should know that I do not hate you.
I understand your predicament,
And have accepted that you must do what you have to do.
My end has come. An instrument enters you, I feel it on my face,
I hope this makes you happy, as he pulls me out,
My brief existence being erased.
I never felt your kiss, never felt the comfort of your hands,
I never got to love you, the way a child would,
But mother, I understand.

Dwayne Morgan

Answer 5

First off, I think you need to talk to your father about this so that you can get any help you might need. Now, in answer to the question, you need to take stock of everything in your life right now. You already know that your boyfriend probably won't be very helpful, seeing as he already is showing he's not mature enough to handle the consequences of you getting pregnant. You need to look at your financial situation, your educational goals and your own mind set.

Do you have enough money and a good enough job to support this child for the next 18+ years? Do not expect your father to help foot the bill since he might be completely against this.

Did you want to finish high school and/or go to college to better enrich yourself? Keep in mind that most places now require some sort of college degree so, unless you want to work minimum wage jobs for the rest of your life, you'll need to put that into perspective.

Also, you may think you are able to handle having a child this young but bear in mind that your life will no longer be your own when this child comes into the world. They will have to come first in every aspect.

I would recommend educating yourself fully on having a child at a planned parenthood clinic.

Now, you have three different choices. You can abort, you can carry the child to term and keep it or you can carry the child to term and put it up for adoption. If you decide to have an abortion, I am warning you that it will be one of the most painful things you will ever go through. Plus, you will have to deal with the thought that you killed something that could have been bound for something very important later on in life. If you decide to ultimately keep the child, you will have to deal with the fact that you will have close to no life until that child is old enough to leave and make it on it's own. If you decide to give it away, you may or may not be allowed to remain in the child's life. The child might grow to resent the fact you gave them away.

I'm not saying that you should either abort or keep the child. The decision is up to you. Just make sure you are completely educated before you make your final decesion.

Answer 6

I am 20 years old now. I was raped and got pregnant when I was 16. My little girl will be 3 in November. If you abort you baby you will never forgive yourself. You will always think about what you child would have been like, what it's name would have been, what color hair it would've had. I was going to have an abortion but I knew that if I did I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Give yourself some time to think. Tell the father but let him know how you feel about the situation. Children are wonderful and it isn't as hard as people make it seem.

Answer 7

You could go through with the pregnancy and then give the baby up for adoption. There are so many good, good people out there that would give anything for a baby of their own. Think about it... it's only nine months out of your ENTIRE lifetime. You'll be giving your child a chance at life. You may eventually feel guilty about putting the baby up for adoption but that would feel a lot better than the guilt of abortion. Tell your family so you can get all the support you'll need. Good luck!!

Answer 8

I think that you should talk to your dad about it. but my advice to you is to keep your baby. If you were mature enough to have sex then you have to keep the respoinsibilty of raising a child. I know it probrally wont be easy but you have the support of your dad and sisters. With abortion comes so many things that is not worth it. Besides the fact that you are killing a child for no reason. Stick through it i know that you'll be fine and also remember never to leave school. Because in the long run having a education is going to be very important in order for you to continue raising your baby.
And about the boyfriend if he is not a man enough to stay around then you don't deserve him. you need a man by yourside that is going to be with you through the good times and the hard times.
I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 9

I can tell by your question that you have a good heart. If you abort then you will have to lvie with that for the rest of your life. As you get older you will look at children and think about what your would have looked like or what they would be doing. Give the baby a chace at least! And tell your dad, he will probably take it bad at first but he will come around. If everyone around you wants you to abort at least give it up for adoption, there are thousands of couples out there who cant have there own. people wait years and years for this. Then you know your child will have a good life. But this is the life you created...this baby is a part of you. If you arent ready to grow up just yet and take on the responsibility that is understandable but give that baby a chance to live life! Who knows what that baby could grow up to be. Give it a chance. ANd think long anad hard, think about how you will feel afterwards. Its going to be hard either way, but girls younger then you have done it. It can be done. Whatever you do its going to be hard but dont punish the baby by not giving it a chance at life.
Take care of yourself and I wish you all the best!

Answer 10

Thats a total personal decision. You're going to get so much of other peoples opinions on here... that it might drive you batty.

Did you consider adoption if you're against abortion? You can select the family and even try to get an open adoption if you so choose so that you baby will grow up knowign that you're the birth mother but that you gave him the life he or she deserved by putting the baby with a family that cant have children.

Its something to think about if you're against abortion and dont feel capable of raising this child on your own.

Good LUck hun!