I was in a relationship for a little while(my longest one) and I was really into the guy. He was kind of worried about getting into one with me because he thought he wasn't good enough for me. We broke up randomly and he can't even talk to me now and avoids me. I wouldn't be still worried about it if I didn't know he still cares for me. He was going off to college and I believe he felt that I would be holding him back. I don't really care if we get back together I just want the communication because I lost a best friend and a boyfriend from that. Is he scared of his emotions? So he avoids it? or what.
2006-07-25 06:19:41 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
well, men are funny. I agree with you for wanting the communication, or at least closure. It's not fair when someone just stops talking, not knowing anything is the worst feeling, leaves you helpless. Maybe he's really afraid of hurting you, but that isn't an answer. I would write him a letter telling him how you feel, without pressuring him. Ask him to talk to you and to be honest with you, that you would rather know the truth than keep wondering. Tell him that you cherish his friendship and that you would like to remain friends.
2006-07-25 06:21:12 · answer #1 · answered by charlie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pretty good post, you have a very positive attitude about something that can be very painful.
Normally people have mixed emotions, so it could be a combination of things.
Sometimes people use the phrase, "I'm not good enough for you," to break up with someone when they actually just want to get out of the relationship.
You didn't say he said that at the end, it sounded like he said it before getting together with you.
If that is true, the two interpretations there are: (1) he was being honest at that time and really didn't feel he was good enough for you, but decided to give it a go, (2) he wasn't really into dating you, tried to dissuade you up front, but then figured he might as well try it and see how it went.
Same thing with the breakup: It could mean (1) he is ashamed about the break-up and can't look you in the eye, because he hurt you and that's hard for him to live with, or (2) he doesn't want to be involved with you and is avoiding you in hopes the whole thing will just go away.
Why did you feel as if he thought you would be holding him back? If your instinct is telling you this was the reason, I'd give it some credit... often our instincts pick up things our mind can't prove.
I know you just miss having him as a friend (there's an empty spot there), but he's having trouble forgetting the past, either way. The success of you staying friends really depends on why he started dating you in the first place and why he stopped.
If I were in your situation, I guess I would tell him flat-out that the break-up is okay, you both want to see other people, but you really just miss having him as a friend and would like to stay in touch with him at SOME level, even if it's only periodically.
If he responds to that, that means the friendship thing could work out and he was just having trouble figuring out his feelings. If he continues to ignore you, at this time it seems pretty clear (to him) that everything is over and he just wants to forget it all.
Hope things go well with you.
2006-07-25 13:48:03 · answer #2 · answered by Jennywocky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can not nor should you attempt to have someone in your life that really doesn't want to be there , and the "not good enough" comment that he made to you was his way of letting you down easily, because he didn't want you to feel that awful, so he's not a bad person, unfortunately for you , he just didn't think that you two were compatible enough to be in a relationship, and he finally got the nerves to end it. Be grateful, put your chin up, and find someone who you're more compatible with.. Girl, life if full of trials, you just need to be strong enough to endure those bumps along the way...And oh, there are going to be more to come.Please always remember that, it is not the end of the world and try being content with you (only) first, then that significant other will follow without looking. Good luck.
2006-07-25 13:29:49 · answer #3 · answered by jusb4dawn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most of the time, relationships dont last if one goes to a college and one stays at home. too much stress and temptation make it hard.
He probably didn't want to be tied down while being at college... or maybe your'e right... maybe he was too scared of something. I can bet, though, he wasn't ready to make a "long distance" relationship work.
2006-07-25 13:23:11 · answer #4 · answered by Rock Goddess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this guy likfed you then he has no reason to leave you but if you also lioke him they cant be a way you force him up to you..just let it be automatic that you all find keen intrest in each ather and dont for get that us boy want dimsal driven by there naturality
2006-07-25 14:33:32 · answer #5 · answered by mwebazet 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no he just plain ole sick of you, dont wanna make u feel like crap.sorry
2006-07-25 13:21:19 · answer #6 · answered by Treezle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if they broke up with you, they dont' want you. stop fooling yourslef.
2006-07-25 13:22:01 · answer #7 · answered by AreYouForReal? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋