Should we take him in?

Question

Ok, this may be a little confusing but I'll try to explain it best way I can. There is a little boy, age 1 1/2 whose mother abondoned him recently and has done so before but always came back when she felt like it trying to play mommy. The child's father, who wasn't even his biological father and was a friend of mine, took care of him but bounced the child around the United States. Why? Because he felt like it, it was more about him then it was about the child and the child's well being. Well he passed away recently and the mother is no where to be found so my friend's father has taken the child but he doesn't seem to want him either because he's moving as well and feels the child should be with a stable enviornment. This is where my fiancee and I come in. He feels the child would be better off with us but the thing is, my fiancee hates the child's father while I hate the mother but on the other hand we can't blame the child for having parents like he does. It's not his fault at all.

My fiancee and I feel horrible for this little boy who it seems no one wants or no one is caring to take him in and keep him, as if he's some dog or cat you can just ship away. We've talked about it and decided that we would take him in with us but should we think about it some more because we don't have any other kids and my fiancee was worried that when we do have kids they will treat him different since he looks nothing like us. Should we not take him in or should we do what's right and give this child a home since no one else will, even though I'm sure people will look at us like we're giving up our young lives to look after another persons' kid but I mean if we don't then who will.?

Answer 1

wow! i dont know what to say other than if you feel in your heart that taking in this child is the right thing to do then do it. that child does not deserve to have to be bounced around like that no more. i do not care for cps as that most children are bouced from fosterr home to foster home until at age 18 they are sent out into the world with no real family ties. the only advice i can give is to say that that child needs a loving home and you sound like you really want to give him one. as for other children in the future, i wouldnt worry so about it it. children are lot more accepting than you think. when the time comes when they are older you sit them down and explain why he looks different but that that doesnt mean he isnt any more or less loved than them. as for the child's real parents you need to get temp. custody order if you do take him in this way they are unable to take the child again. then from there you can start full custody proceedings! good luck.

Answer 2

I think you should try and look for the mother, If you take this child in and she comes in and takes him when she feels like it all of you will end up being hurt. Go through the system to try and locate her if she is nowhere to be found then by all means you can adopt this child and give him a good home. You seem to have a great heart and I'm sure you will be a happy family.

Answer 3

Do you love this child or just feel sorry for him is the real question here. You don't do something just because you feel sorry about it because you might later yourself want to give him up down the road because you have no legal responsibility toward the child. Ask yourself those questions than act upon it. Do you want this child to be a permanent part of your life or not? Will the mother sign papers to give him up? Think about how much do you really want to be involved. It's not as easy as you think!

Answer 4

Sounds like you have NO legal claim to the child. If you really want him, consult a lawyer. Blood family will (and should) get first claim on this little boy. Where are his grandparents, from either side? If you're not sure, DO NOT subject him to being bounced out of your home later. That makes you just as bad as the parents.......