why is it women have affairs?

Question

ive always wondered why women have affairs when they seem to have everything!!!
they have a good job,a husband,kids,a house and a car yet they are still willing to risk having an affair!
yes i know blokes do it as well but i would like some feedback from the women here!

Answer 1

As apposed to a bloke just screwing around. I think it may have something to do with the fact that not many woman can just sleep with any old tom dick and harry, there has to be some feeling, granted not all, but at least I can speak to myself and circle of friends, therefore an affair is a relationship where a woman would feel whole......For her to have the affair, I would assume she is missing something or someone at home.

Answer 2

Often men as well as woman have affairs for all sorts of reasons but usually its simply for one main reason and that is, that they are no longer 'truly in love' with their partner, or they may have got married for the wrong reasons in the first place.
Affairs isint just about sex its much more than that, and if you truly loved your husband/wife/partner, then you would never ever consider even having an affair. in the first place.

More often than not, love and affection is lacking in the home, or the feelings of one person has changed and often a married couple do not pay enough attention to this and try to sort their problems out. What then, is it right for people to stay in a loveless marriage or a marriage they no longer want to be in ? Its not material things that makes you happy or keeps a marriage going through the good times and the bad, its doesnt come down to having a nice house or two cars, etc: of course its much more than that and if theres no longer much love or togetherness then I guess thats why people risk alot to have an affair.

There is no sin or shame in falling in love, its the circumstances that makes it difficult and regarded as sinful when someone is married. On the other hand, as we know, there is some religions that believe in having more than one wife or partner.

Often one thing thats over looked is that, not everyone has the means to leave their marriage first and then have a relationship with someone else, which of course would be the proper way to do things, but people are selfish or could be staying in an unhappy marriage because of financial dependancy, because of children etc or the fear of leaving the marriage breaking what emotional attachments are left and moving forward to a better more loving and fufilling life, and for some people, having an affair can help make life more tolerable at home.

Yes the risks are great, and many are willing to risk all to find or be with a person who they feel is the true love of their life.
For some people having an affair does work out for them, but for the vast majority of people entering an affair, it will either fizzle out on its own or end with it being discovered.

However, I would say that men in particular, are more likely to have an affair is more to do with having extramarital sex and thrill and excitement surrounding it, although not all men are like that and some are that unhappy that they are having an affair to 'exit' the marriage
Some people do fall deeply in love and end up in a much more happier and loving relationship with their affair partner, although its also known that some of these relationships do not always last either.

Anyone who considers entering an affair should seriously consider the risks and the devestation it could cause...better still leave the marriage first if you want to have one, but for many its a case of wanting their cake and eating it. However,I do think that woman who have an affair are much more emotionally attached to the person and seem more willing to risk more and put up with the 'other woman' stigma and put downs that often attaches these situations.

Why is it woman have affairs? its because their not happy within themselves or their marriage and are no longer 'in love' with their partner....just the same as men!

Answer 3

I'm a married woman. I have 3 kids, 5 1/2, 4 & 3. A beautiful house, 2 nice vehicles and a good job. However I'm not happy. I do not regret my children but that is the only reason I am still with my husband. I didnt cheat on him until 6 years into the relationship 2 years after marriage. I don't enjoy sex w/ him anymore. I have lost that exictement with him. I love feeling attracted to other men and vice versa. The chase is fun, knowing someone else finds me attractive and would like to be with me gets me going. UGH! I hate myself at the same time. I want to find the right one, this isn't a good way to go about it but what else should I do? Leave my husband, make my kids unhappy or keep on living the lie?

Answer 4

if anyone can answer this I'd love to know also, my thing is Ive been with my husband since i was 15, married now 21 years.
recently started seeing a "Old" friend. But i have had other affairs.
maybe its the excitement, the different conversations, the feeling that you just cant wait to see each other again. I miss the butterfly feeling you get with someone new
i have the best husband ever, and yet i am still cheating. I never went through the whole dating sceen when i was younger, i like the attention now other men bring into it.
not sure this helps, its hard to say its nothing personal with our husbands, but with me its a selfish need for excitement and/or attention.

Answer 5

why is it men have affairs when they have 'everything'?

No but seriously...

some people like the extra attention, some will feel unloved by their partner, some might get off on the excitement of maybe getting caught, some might not be getting enough sex in their relationship so start looking elsewhere, some might feel trapped in their relationship and an affair might be a way of escaping that...and some might just be downright evil and out to hurt their partners. I'd love to give a simple answer, but everyone is different and will have different reasons.

Answer 6

My husband answers this question correctly, If you dont keep your wife happy at home then she will go somewhere else to find her happiness. And this happiness is not material items this kind of happiness is respect, honesty, attention, affection and most of all LOVE.

My husband and I married after both being married prior, he was left by his wife for another man and I was cheating on my husband with him, sounds funny but we truly are soul mates and have been happily married for 7 years.

My first husband had no trust in me, no respect, lied to me all the time and only wanted to give affection and attention when he wanted something in return. That is not happiness that is learning to live with a man that you love but are not in love with. There are many other reasons why I had an affair and why we divorced but I will not go into those the most important thing to know is that you have to have all of this and truley be IN LOVE to not want to be with someone else.

My husband realized that he did not treat his wife the way he should have because he was not in love with her so she found her love somewhere else.

I could not imagine my life without my husband, there is not one day that goes by that we dont tell each other how much we love one another and how much we are in love with one another. We were told this marriage would never last because it was a rebound, well we have been together for 10 years and married for 7. We just had our first child together and let me tell you what a differant experiance that is when you are truly in love with someone and they are truly in love with you. We try to set example for our children, my two from the 1st marriage and we now have a newborn.

You BOTH must truly be IN LOVE with each other to not want to wander.

Answer 7

who know's why anyone cheat? people have different reasons, maybe she wasn't happy at home. Or maybe she's just being selfish and uncaring. personally I wouldn't risk loosing my family but I guess some people never really sit and think about the consequences until it's to late. Women and Men both cheat as easy as eating cake. I think it's messed up when a person goes out and screw around on their spouse or significant other.. It never seems to matter that what their doing is causing pain for their families. I think it's mainly because they don't think their ever going to get caught..

Answer 8

In a lot of circumstances the woman becomes bored. She's looking for adventure. Then there is the age old idea she wants something new truth is, there's nothing new when she realizes she's got it at home already. Like a lot of men, they lack imagination on how to keep the fire going. what's wrong with taking that energy and passion and giving it to ur spouse.

Answer 9

In a lot of circumstances the woman becomes bored. She's looking for adventure. Then there is the age old idea she wants something new; truth is, there's nothing new when she realizes she's got it at home already. Like a lot of men, they lack imagination on how to keep the fires going.

Answer 10

Same reason as guys I guess. After a while the excitement goes. I guess there is the excitement of a new lover and the thrill of getting caught. Better than the boredom of once a week rutting in the marital bed.